Page 82 of Ensnared by the Pack: The Complete Series (Destined Realms #3)

KNOX

Fuck.

I dropped the canteens on the rocks by the water’s edge and strangled the scream threatening to rip from my throat. My cock was so hard it hurt, and I was furious and confused and grief stricken and?—

Fuck! Fuck fuck fuck!

I grabbed a rock and shattered it against a boulder with my palm.

Audrey practically glowed with her fury and strength, a radiant, vengeful goddess, and I’d wanted to claim her all over again.

Except I also wanted to beat the shit out of myself.

If anyone else had hurt her as much as I had, I would have ripped their throat out.

Fuck. How had I not seen it? I knew she’d been struggling, knew freezing the bond hadn’t been good for her or me, but that pain in her eyes when she was yelling at me crushed me.

I had done that to her in my fight to avoid trapping both of us in a bond that I now knew in my soul was fated.

I’d thought it had been her heat making her struggle, or at least part of it. I hadn’t realized just how deeply my rejection had hurt her.

And now I had the gall to be pissed when she wouldn’t even consider kissing me. I’d barely even thought the thought before she’d shoved me away.

What the fuck was wrong with me?

I shattered another stone and another, my throat tight from keeping my screams of frustration bottled in. But I was too close to our camp and I knew letting go would scare her.

I’d seen the fear of retribution in her eyes even as her temper got the better of her. I’d also seen the resignation, the acceptance that letting me know how she really felt would end in punishment. She was so angry with me, she was willing to face my fury.

She was so angry, I’d felt power, true alpha power like the power I’d felt in our shared dreams, rolling off her for just a moment.

It had rushed against my power, taunting, teasing, tempting, and my wolf had clawed and heaved against the collar. He wanted her just like how he’d had her in the dream, wanted that energy crackling against ours in a battle of dominance and seduction.

But she hadn’t released her power in sexual challenge. Hell, she hadn’t even knowingly released it, and I was sure she wasn’t even aware she had it.

It had stuttered, the flow uneven, probably a match to the mix of rage and fear boiling over inside her, then it had flared sudden and strong, compelling me away from her, before vanishing.

I was worse than the asshole everyone thought I was. I’d hurt my mate so deeply the rage she kept locked within herself for fear of reprisal had burst free. She no longer cared if I punished her. Not that I ever would. But that didn’t matter. I’d already done all the damage to our mating that I could.

I sagged to the ground, my smothered screams squeezing my chest until I couldn’t breathe.

This was why I’d never be a good mate for her, why I’d fought so hard against the bond.

Except that was a lie.

I hadn’t fought the bond because I thought I was terrible mate material. I’d fought it because I was afraid.

Fuck.

I had to fix this.

I just had no idea how.

I hadn’t even known what to say to her when she’d been yelling at me. Normally I didn’t care. I said what I thought and ignored and avoided those who didn’t matter.

But Audrey mattered. She was the only one who mattered and, even if I had any idea what to say, being blunt wouldn’t make her feel better and the thought of avoiding her forever made my soul scream.

She was right. She’d always been right.

The bond was inevitable and even if I stayed away from her, it would pull us back together.

I was a selfish asshole for not even considering that we’d have to figure out how our relationship would work. Even if she bonded with Bishop that wouldn’t absolve me of my responsibilities to her and our bond.

I shoved a canteen into the river to fill it.

It had felt so good, so right carrying her while she was unconscious for those first few days after we left Kelna.

I’d been so sure I was going to have to let her go to embrace her relationship with Bishop that I’d clung to her every possible second until it looked like she was going to wake. But then I hadn’t known how to say goodbye or deal with her sobbing, so I’d avoided her.

I couldn’t have been a bigger idiot and now I needed to figure out how to fix it.

Except I had no idea how to fix a normal relationship let alone one as fucked up as the one I’d made with Audrey.

Hell, I didn’t even know how to start one.

Movement downstream caught my attention and Cyrus pushed around a bush to get to the water’s edge. He saw me and came closer to crouch a few feet away.

“I told Audrey to help you,” he said, setting his catch — a skinned and gutted fox — on the rocks beside him, before shoving his bloody hands into the water.

“You should have minded your fucking business,” I snarled. He’d made the order on purpose to force us together.

“And you should have taken the gift offered to you,” he snarled back. “She’s your mate and you’ve already fucked it up. She’s shy and uncertain, but even a cornered mouse will bite back.”

No shit. And she was hardly a mouse. She’d just been trained to act like one by the assholes who’d raised her.

“You don’t deserve her,” Cyrus said, his voice a low rumble, his wolf pushing to the surface. It almost sounded like Cyrus wanted Audrey as well even though he’d vowed to put the needs of the pack first.

“Then you do your fucking chores with her,” I spat back, a sudden jealous rage surging inside me.

She was mine. Mine.

“I’m not the one who needs to build a relationship with her. You’ve avoided her from the start. Any idiot can see she doesn’t trust you.”

I huffed. She didn’t trust me and she outright despised me.

And I deserved it all.