Page 65 of Ensnared by the Pack: The Complete Series (Destined Realms #3)

AUDREY

I clung to Bishop, silent tears trickling down my cheeks and soaking into his shirt. Hope was such a dangerous, fragile thing, and I couldn’t withstand the terror of having it shattered again.

Bishop murmured soothing nonsense to me as he stroked my hair, and his soul warmed and steadied mine. I wasn’t sure how long we stood like that before I eased out of his embrace, but thankfully it was before Knox and Cyrus returned.

I didn’t want to deal with anything they might say or even the looks they’d give me. They thought I was weak, and crying over being told I wasn’t alone and that someone cared for me, was probably pathetic in their eyes.

“Let’s see if we can find enough wood for a fire,” I said, wiping my face on my sleeve.

“Yeah.” Bishop swept his gaze at the desolation around us and sighed. “Although I don’t have a lot of hope for that. I think the best we hope for is enough to cook whatever Cyrus catches… if there’s anything out there to catch.”

We picked our way through the rubble, searching for anything that was more than a handful of stringy grass, and attacked every scraggly bush we came across. I was pretty sure the branches were too thin to be anything more than kindling, but unless we came across a wooden beam or piece of furniture or something it was all we had — and I suspected, given the condition of the buildings, that anything wooden had rotted away a long time ago.

“Ah, here’s a big one,” Bishop exclaimed as he peeked through the window of one of the best-preserved walls in the village.

I followed as he made his way around, revealing that half the house was more or less untouched, standing a good two feet taller than Bishop, while the other half had completely crumbled.

The “big one” was a shrub almost as tall as me with a trunk thick enough to make thin logs, and we got to work ripping the branches off until the remaining branches were too thick for me to break apart. Then Bishop took over, and I went to work breaking the thinner branches into campfire appropriate lengths.

As I worked, I let my attention drift to the wasteland beyond the crumbling walls. The sun was close to setting, the few clouds in the sky turning pink with a warm sunset that I couldn’t feel, and far off in the distance, I could see a thick fog rolling over the rugged terrain getting closer.

A shiver slipped down my spine, this one from fear and not from my sexy memories, and I hugged myself against the chill.

“I heard that the fog shows up every night over the death god’s domain,” Bishop said. “But it doesn’t reach the village, and it disperses in the morning,”

Which was when we’d march straight to the altar, cast the spell Whil found, and pray that it worked.

Tomorrow.

I sucked in a steadying breath. Whil had said the spell could kill anything magical within us and that included our bond. Would it also kill my curse?

I sat up straighter. Bishop had lied and told Ida and Hallie we were going to cast the spell to break the curse that prevented my wolf from waking. But what if that didn’t have to be a lie? What if I could be completely free of everything?

I could be strong. People wouldn’t look at me with disgust or pity. I could be the person I was supposed to be.

“Bishop,” I said, my gaze locked on the undulating fog and the hope that lay within it. “Do you think the spell that can break my bond with Knox will be able to break my curse?”

He released a heavy sigh and my hope trembled inside me. That didn’t sound good.

“I was hoping you’d forget I said that. I felt like we needed an explanation as to why we’re heading to the death god’s temple and breaking your curse was easier to explain than breaking a mating bond,” he said, ripping off the last two branches to get to the trunk.

“That means the answer is no.” What little hope I had twisted into heavy resignation.

Of course the spell wouldn’t break my curse. My wolf was never going to wake and that was just the way it was.

“I’m sorry,” he said crouching beside me and pulling me into a hug. “I asked Whil the same question and she said the curse that prevents you from shifting is woven into your essence. Given how the death spell works, she has no doubt casting it to break your curse would kill you.”

“Swell.”

“Hey, don’t give up hope,” he said. “After your bond with Knox is broken, we can move on to breaking that curse.”

I nodded my agreement, my throat tight, and we finished tearing down the bush and headed back to our shelter.

Knox and Cyrus returned a few minutes later. Both had been successful which meant we wouldn’t need to ration our water for the next two days and we didn’t have to eat trail mix for supper.

After tossing us the canteens and saying the water was safe, Knox turned around and left. With a sigh, Bishop started the fire, and Cyrus set up the spit to cook the… raccoon? Gutted and skinned, I wasn’t entirely sure what animal it had been and wasn’t going to look at it too closely. It was food, and I was grateful.

I sat out of their way while they worked, wanting to help but afraid they’d refuse if I offered. It had been days since Bishop had tried to teach me wilderness survival stuff, but I had thought he’d stopped because I’d been exhausted, not because I was a bad student. Now I wasn’t so sure, since this was a perfect opportunity for a lesson and it was obvious I was now fine.

I smiled and bit back a breathy sigh before they noticed. I was better than fine and by tomorrow afternoon, once the bond was broken, I’d be great.

I was still disappointed that the spell also couldn’t break my curse, but I was trying hard not to focus on that. Knox and I would be free and I’d finally be able to feel exactly what I was feeling, not the heartbreaking, icy hollowness of his rejection.

“What are you smiling about?” Bishop asked as he lit the fire and sat beside me.

“That after tomorrow, my life will finally be my own.” Unless Bishop and Cyrus turned on me the second Knox was safe.

I shoved that thought aside. It wasn’t from me. It was my insecurities magnified by the rejected bond.

With a grin, Bishop drew me into his lap and wrapped his arms around me, sending warmth and calm radiating around my heart. Cyrus cocked an eyebrow as if he wanted to say something but huffed instead and stared at our dinner cooking over the fire.

“Any thoughts on what you want your life to look like?” Bishop asked.

“I don’t know,” I confessed leaning into him. “I haven’t really thought about it. I hadn’t been able to think about it in my old pack.” I was the alpha’s slave, and if Merrick hadn’t been planning to use me as currency to buy a seat at the North American Shifter Alliance’s table, I probably would have stayed his slave — even if my wolf did manage to wake. “And I haven’t been able to think about it here because of everything going on.”

But now my heat had been broken and the mess with the accidental mating bond would soon be over. Maybe it was time to think about the future. Except?—

“The only thing I can do is clean,” I sighed.

“Is that what you want to do?” Cyrus asked.

“I don’t enjoy it. But everyone in a pack needs to be useful.” Even my father had told me that. It hadn’t just been Merrick and Sterling and the pack betas saying that to control me, and I believed it. I wanted to contribute. I wanted to matter. Even if it was just a little bit.

“I’m sure we can find something you like,” Bishop said.

“My options are limited,” I told him. “I’m not an artist, so I can’t add to the pack’s enjoyment and culture, and I can’t read or write your language. Technically I can’t even speak it.”

“Whatever you decide on, it doesn’t have to happen the moment you get back,” Bishop replied.

I shivered, the night getting chilly now that the sun had set, and Bishop rubbed his large warm palms up my arms to warm me.

“If you want to be literate,” he added, “you can learn without pressure. Our pack has always tried to encourage our members to follow their strengths.”

That sounded so beautiful and yet— “I have no idea if I have any strengths. I’m not even sure where to start.”

Cyrus growled and a flicker of his power washed over me before vanishing a second later.

Swell. I didn’t know what I’d said to piss him off, but a release of power like that meant a strong emotional reaction. He was probably tired of holding my hand — not that he’d actually done a lot of handholding — and wanted me to stop sucking up all his time. I’d bonded with Knox and by the time we got back, he’ll have lost two thirds of a month trying to fix it. He probably had a ton of work waiting for him when he got home. Bishop, too.

“House cleaning is probably a good place to start, though,” I said, trying to sound positive and not worried. “I’ll be able to pay for room and board while I figure myself out.”

“You’re not paying for room and board,” Bishop said. “You’re staying at the Residence.”

“If she doesn’t want to stay at the Residence, she doesn’t have to,” Cyrus growled.

Except I couldn’t tell if he meant that to respect my desire for independence or if he was really hoping I’d leave his house and get out of his way.

“Of course, she doesn’t,” Bishop replied. “But I don’t want her to feel like she isn’t welcome once her bond with Knox is broken.”

“And I don’t want her to feel obligated because we’re the pack alphas,” he shot back and his hard gaze captured mine. “If I told you to stay in the Residence, would you say no?”

I narrowed my eyes. I wanted to say that I would say no, that I’d refuse him if he made it an order, but I probably wouldn’t. It was safer to just go along with it until I could get away.

And I’d learned my lesson. I wouldn’t hesitate the next time because I was afraid. I’d run at the first chance I got and never look back. I really liked Bishop, but I still didn’t know him very well and I couldn’t count on him protecting me from his brother.

“Thought so,” Cyrus huffed and he turned back to our dinner.

In one breath he offered me independence and in the next, he reminded me of just how weak I was.