Page 16 of Ensnared by the Pack: The Complete Series (Destined Realms #3)

AUDREY

“I’m not going to hurt you,” the man said, his voice soft but still gruff as if he wasn’t quite sure how to deal with me, which didn’t fit with him being Sterling’s hired muscle. “What’s your name?”

That really didn’t fit with being hired muscle. Even if Sterling hadn’t bothered to mention my name, the kind of guy he’d hire to watch me wouldn’t care. That and why hire someone when there were more than enough members of the pack who’d happily guard me then hand me over to a monster?

I should have thought of that from the start. If Sterling was now the alpha, his father’s betas would need to prove themselves to keep their position in the pack, and while I’d thought most of them were okay men, I didn’t really know them well and wasn’t sure how far they’d go to keep their position in the pack.

But if that was the case, did that mean I’d managed to escape? Was I actually free?

The icy hollowness swelled, overwhelming me for a second. Even if sacrificing Merrick to the monster had gotten Sterling whatever he wanted, if I ever showed my face anywhere near pack lands, Sterling would go after me. He’d probably have someone keeping an eye on Mila in her new pack just to see if I’d go to her.

If I had, in fact, managed to escape my old life, I had to make a clean cut. I couldn’t reach out to Mila in any way, and I had to figure out how to get as far away from pack lands as possible — and I doubted that wherever I was, was far enough.

I needed to figure out how to get out of the country— hell, go to Europe or Asia if I could find the money. It didn’t matter that my wolf hadn’t woken and I still looked like an easy target for any super looking to cause trouble. I would fight with everything I had to keep the freedom I’d somehow managed to achieve.

“Your injuries have healed enough that you can shift out the rest,” he said, carefully standing as if afraid moving too quickly would spook me… which it probably would. Just sitting he’d been intimidating and now, towering over me, he was terrifying.

“There’s a bathroom across the hall. Why don’t you get cleaned up and I’ll find you some clothes.” My stomach growled, making his lips quirk. “And some food,” he added as he opened the door revealing a glimpse of another white wall and the edge of a doorframe. “I’m Cyrus.”

“Audrey,” I murmured and he left before I could thank him.

I didn’t know why he was helping me or if I could actually trust him. Just because he wasn’t connected to Sterling didn’t mean I was safe with him. Of course, if he’d wanted to hurt me, he’d had plenty of opportunity while I was unconscious.

I sat up and pushed back the covers, my body throbbing in protest, the pain strong enough to cut through the cold emptiness. Someone had changed me out of my transformation dress, wrapped bandages around most of my torso, and put me in an oversized, loose shirt. Probably Cyrus.

I wasn’t sure how I felt about that. I’d never been naked in public before. Hell, I’d never been naked in private with another person. But he was a shifter and not from my pack, so he probably didn’t have the human hang-ups I did about nudity. Royce had already ripped open the front of my dress so I’d probably been flashing it all when he’d found me.

My throat tightened at the thought of my dress. That dress had held all my hopes for the last five years. It was gone and so was the life I knew.

I couldn’t go back, even if for some ridiculous reason I wanted to. I could only go forward and to do that I needed to figure out where I was and how to get farther away from Sterling. I could only pray that as a wolfless shifter I’d be able to go unnoticed or that he wouldn’t bother searching for me. Although I had a horrible feeling that if he knew I was still alive, nothing would stop him from coming after me.

And again, there was nothing I could do about that right now.

I climbed out of bed and headed to the bathroom — which was right across the hall like Cyrus said. The room was luxurious with white marble floors, counters, and tiles, and shiny chrome fixtures. An enormous mirror sat over the vanity, and I cringed at my reflection.

My not-blond-but-not-brown hair hung half loose in a tangled mess while the rest was still captured at an odd angle in the hair elastic I’d used for my ponytail. I also had two black eyes and was covered in bruises and scratches, although they weren’t nearly as fresh as they should have been, which meant I had to have been unconscious for more than a day.

A large tub sat at the back in a bay window that looked out onto a small garden, and while I really wanted to just soak and relax, Cyrus had promised food and I was hungry.

I started the water in the stand-up shower, which was more than big enough for a man Cyrus’s size, and grabbed the hem of the shirt. It was enormous on me, hanging past my butt, and would have been loose on Cyrus, but that only meant it would be quick to take off.

Was that a clue about the type of man Cyrus was? He anticipated he’d need to shift at a moment’s notice and wore clothes that were easy to take off since our shifting magic destroyed whatever we wore?

I pulled the shirt up over my head and was instantly enveloped in that rich, smoky scent again. God, it smelled so good. Like home… even though I hadn’t thought I associated home with wood smoke.

The icy hollowness inside me shuddered and the warm comfort of the scent turned into longing and need. I ached to be surrounded by that scent forever, to be fully embraced by it, have it fuel my need into a burning desire, and set me fully ablaze. I didn’t want to discard the shirt on the floor, step into the shower, and wash the scent from my skin. My soul ached for it to accept me, welcome me home, caress me, touch me, love me.

A part of me knew I felt the way I did because of the incomplete mating bond, but another, smaller part, a part I’d been ignoring and denying because I’d had to survive, knew deep down the incomplete bond only shone a light on what I’d desperately craved from the moment I found my father in a pool of his own blood in the bathtub.

Tears burned my eyes and I tossed the shirt to the farthest corner of the bathroom.

Fuck you, Royce, for making me feel this way. Fuck you for reminding me that I was broken and no one wanted me.

Those horrible feelings had been dragged into the stark light of reality and even when the icy emptiness of the incomplete mating bond faded, I’d never be able to forget about how I longed for something I couldn’t have. So clearly pointing out what I ached for was the cruelest thing he’d ever done to me.

Fuck you and Sterling. Fuck all of them.

My throat tightened.

And fuck me for being stupid enough to believe them.

A tear rolled down my cheek and I furiously brushed it away. I didn’t want to cry. I didn’t want to be emotionally pathetic as well.

But the tears kept leaking from my eyes, my soul and body weeping despite my mind’s determination to be strong.

Damn it. I’d had a plan. I’d finally worked up the nerve to leave whether my wolf woke or not. I’d been cautious to leave the pack because, weak as I was, I thought I’d be in more danger out there than staying where I was, but I’d never just given up.

I couldn’t have been more wrong about being safe with Sterling and Royce the psychopaths.

Cautious had nearly gotten me killed.

Shame burned my cheeks and anger flickered, a miniscule flame, in the icy hollowness in my chest.

God, I wanted to rip off Royce’s and Sterling’s cocks and feed them to that monster. But they were stronger than me in every way. Ridiculously so.

The most I’d be able to accomplish would be yelling at them and then they’d probably kill me.

Resigned with the burning knowledge that life really wasn’t fair, I unwrapped the bandage around my chest.

Wads of bloody gauze plopped on the floor, a testament to how injured I’d been. Royce’s claw marks were ugly red gashes down the front of my chest, and without the ability to shift, they’d scar. I’d have a permanent reminder of his betrayal not just hidden in my soul but sliced into my skin for any future lover to see. Hell, even a low-cut neckline would show them off to everyone.

My throat tightened again with emotions I really didn’t want, and I stepped into the shower and leaned my forehead against the tiles, just letting the warm water stream down my back. If I was smart, I’d hurry up and clean myself. The more I stood still, the more the icy hollowness would affect me, and a part of me was afraid it would be too much and I’d give up, just like my father had.

He and my mother hadn’t been fated mates and they hadn’t created a magical mating bond, but I’d gotten the impression from him and everyone around me that they’d loved each other deeply. Her love and support had been what had held him together and kept the nightmares at bay when he’d returned to the pack after the war.

Logically I knew he’d held on for as long as he could after her death before the nightmares had become too much and he’d killed himself. But there was still a little girl inside me who felt abandoned, felt she hadn’t been enough for him, and was afraid she had the same emotional weakness he’d had.

My shifter essence was weak. Why not the rest of me?

I shoved those thoughts as deep down inside me as possible. I hadn’t lost my love and hadn’t survived years of brutal war. I’d had the shit scared out of me for a few hours and been tricked by an asshole. Killing myself would just be letting him win, and I was not going to let him win. I’d survive just to spite him and Sterling and everyone.