Page 81 of Ensnared by the Pack: The Complete Series (Destined Realms #3)

AUDREY

Bishop carried me all day as if I didn’t weigh anything, only pausing when we stopped for lunch and for half an hour where I tried to walk on my own. And while I was feeling better, I was still shaky and weak, and it was obvious that my pace was a lot slower than the guys’.

Both Cyrus and Knox — once they’d caught up to us — stayed a good ten feet ahead of us. I doubted it had anything to do with wanting to offer us privacy since from that distance they could still easily hear our conversation with their better-than-human hearing, but I wasn’t sure why they were giving us space.

Well, Knox, I knew was pointedly ignoring me because he still couldn’t accept our bond, but I had no idea why Cyrus was.

Although maybe Cyrus wasn’t outright ignoring me. He was just going about his business as usual. He hadn’t paid that much attention to me when we’d walked north. It shouldn’t surprise me that nothing changed on our way back south.

Except I couldn’t shake the feeling that there was something more going on, something connected to my fever that I couldn’t remember.

Also strange was the fact that Knox hadn’t shifted.

Everyone had made it clear that he preferred his wolf form and he’d remained as a wolf for almost the entire walk to Kelna. I hadn’t even known he and Bishop were identical twins until a few days ago… Well, I guess it was more than a few days now since I’d been unconscious for over a week. But it still felt like a few days to me.

We made camp as the sun was setting, the sky dark reds and oranges. Cyrus picked another campsite that was protected on three sides with rocky outcroppings, one of which had an overhang that would shelter us against the weather. We were about a hundred yards from a forest and the closest we’d ever set up camp to the river. If it hadn’t been for the uneven ground and the bushes, I would have been able to see the fast-moving water from my seat near the overhang.

“Bishop, firewood. Knox and Audrey, fill the canteens,” Cyrus said as he dropped the two packs he’d been carrying — mine and his — and yanked off his shirt.

“I can fill the canteens by myself,” Knox replied. He dropped his packs — his and Bishop’s — and unhooked the canteens.

“It’s not far and she needs to rebuild her strength.” Cyrus dropped his pants, exposing all of his powerful, muscular body, and my breath hitched.

The yearning from before didn’t swell within me, I wasn’t desperate for sex with anyone I could get ahold of, but I did warm up. I might not be in heat anymore or aching to seal my mating bond, but Cyrus was a handsome man — in a dangerous bad boy kind of way — and I was still a living, breathing woman.

“The water is moving too fast,” Knox replied not bothering to look at the river. “If you want her up and walking, have her pace the campsite.”

“The campsite is flat. The way to the river isn’t and it’ll be better for her,” Cyrus said, a hint of his power rolling off him, the only indication his temper was rising.

“And she is standing right here,” I shot back as I heaved myself to my feet and used the nearby rocks to keep my balance. “She’s capable of making her own decisions.”

“So, are you going to stay here or be useful?” Cyrus demanded, his words stinging, a reminder that I’d been a burden to him and his brothers since I’d stumbled into this realm.

“I’m going to help with the canteens.” I might be weak, but I wasn’t useless and I refused to let anyone take control of my life again. With the bond sealed, leaving was no longer an option, but I would prove to Cyrus and everyone else that I deserved the same respect as anyone in his pack.

Cyrus huffed, shifted into his massive black wolf, and bounded toward the forest to hunt for our dinner. Bishop shot me an encouraging smile and followed him.

“So…” I turned to Knox. This was the first time we’d been alone since we sealed the bond and a churning mix of emotions swept through me.

“You’re staying,” he growled, grabbing the other two canteens.

“I’ll be fine. It’s what? Fifty? Sixty feet to the river?” I shuffled a few steps toward the river, staying close to the outcroppings just in case I needed to catch my balance.

“I don’t need your help.” His gaze flickered to me then jerked away as if he couldn’t stand looking at me.

“So, this is the way it’s going to be?” I asked, unable to keep my grief and frustration from my voice.

If I was smart, I’d bottle it all away and not give him more ammunition to hurt me, but I’d always been terrible at keeping my emotions in. Sterling had seen through any front I’d put up and knew exactly where and how to strike.

I didn’t want to go back to a life like that and yet sealing our bond hadn’t seemed to change anything between us.

“It’s the way it has to be,” Knox replied.

“Why? I know this isn’t what either of us wanted, but we’re—” We were what? Going to have to figure something out? Make things work?

There wasn’t a we, no matter what our bond said. And I’d never been able to make anyone do anything.

“Just mate with Bishop so we can move on,” Knox growled.

“You mean so you can move on,” I said, a new realization hitting me. “Is that what you’re waiting for? Me to bond with Bishop so you can bond with someone else?”

The thought made my chest tight. I didn’t want him to mate with anyone else. He was mine. But if I mated with Bishop it would only be fair. Maybe there was someone he loved and that was why he’d fought so hard against our bond.

Except I could feel the pull of the bond inside my chest, warm and comforting, locked around my heart, and knew even if we did bond with other people we wouldn’t be able to move on from each other.

“Just bond with him,” he snarled, not answering my question.

My chest squeezed tighter. He did have someone. I’d suffered for days feeling like I was going to shatter with all the ice he was shoving into our bond when he could have just said something at the start. I would have understood.

“It’s what’s best for you,” he added.

“What’s best for me?” Shock snapped through me. I couldn’t believe he just said that.

Merrick used to say that as well, particularly when he’d first taken me in and I hadn’t been as obedient and submissive as I should have been. He’d said Sterling hurting and belittling me was good for me. It would make me stronger.

But the second I showed an ounce of strength, I was punished, locked in the basement for a day without food, extra cleaning duties at his betas’ houses on top of cleaning Merrick’s, or forced to kneel in the snow or blazing sun for hours without moving, the alpha’s power crushing me into submission.

It had never been anything that would leave a mark — although I had no idea why. No one in the pack would have challenged him if he had. But in some sick way, I think he actually believed what he was doing was best for me, and that made it even worse.

And now Knox was spewing the same shit. How dare he!

Anger burned in my veins, but instead of swallowing it back like Merrick had always demanded, I embraced it. Submitting had never saved me and I didn’t care if it could save me now. How dare Knox try to crush me through a sacred bond and then tell me it was for my own good. Even if he was in love with someone else, that was no excuse for how he’d treated me.

“This has never been what’s best for me ,” I snapped at him. “It’s always been about you.”

“We left our pack responsibilities to walk you to the death god’s temple on the slim chance that we could break the bond. Don’t tell me I didn’t do this for you.”

“Right,” I said, my voice thick with sarcasm. “Because yelling at me that you didn’t want me, rejecting the bond so thoroughly it felt like my soul was shattering, and being reminded every second of every day that I’m weak and worthless and no one wants me was all for me. You’re so self-centered you think doing a favor for yourself is a favor for me. Well, fuck you!”

He tensed and his lips curled back in a snarl.

“What are you going to do? Punish me?” I demanded, opening my arms in invitation.

My frustration and fury screamed through my veins, hot and violent. It was so strong it felt like it was rolling off my body in waves and my pulse thu-thudded hard in my chest, powerful and ferocious.

“You can take your best for me and shove it up your ass, you selfish coward,” I snarled. “If you hadn’t wanted to walk for twenty fucking days you should have tried to figure something out, tried to come up with some kind of arrangement because this bond was permanent before you fucked me without my consent.”

I jerked a step toward him, my body no longer shaking from weakness but from rage, a rage that made me feel powerful for once in my God damned life.

“You go fill the canteens by yourself and keep avoiding me. But this bond will pull us together whether you want it to or not, and I swear to God, now that my fucking heat is over, my strength of will is stronger than yours.”

A low growl rumbled in Knox’s chest and I jerked forward another step, the thu-thud inside me pounded louder, turning my fury into an inferno.

His eyes widened and something flashed across his expression too fast for me to recognize.

Yeah, he didn’t expect me to advance, thought growling at me would scare me and make me retreat.

Well, fuck you!

Then he stomped up to me so close I had to strain my neck to look up at him. Power rolled off him in a crushing wave, stealing my breath, making my knees weak, and snapping electricity across my skin.

But I gritted my teeth and stood my ground. And I was going to stand my ground for as long as possible.

He could have had sweet, submissive Audrey if he’d actually made an effort, but now she was gone. She’d been hurt too deeply for too long and she’d had enough.

“You’ll come begging to me,” I said, my voice strained against the crush of his power. “You, the alpha, begging the weakest shifter in existence, and I’ll make you wait. But don’t worry. It’ll be what’s best for you.”

His chest heaved and his breath rushed across my face in powerful, angry gusts. Our gazes locked — his with only just a hint of his wolf darkening his eyes even though I could see his anger — and I vowed I would not look away first. I would not submit to him.

Then his gaze flickered to my lips, sending a whisper of desire curling around my core.

Oh, no!

Oh, hell no!

I’d just told him I was stronger than him. I wasn’t going to back down and I sure as hell wasn’t going to let him kiss me, no matter what the mating bond wanted.

“No.” I shoved him as hard as I could.

He stumbled back a step, moved only because I’d caught him off guard, and I pointed in the direction of the river.

“Go!” I commanded. My anger thu-thudded hard and fast, rolling off me in a great wave, and with a snarl, Knox stormed off.

I stomped around the sheltered campsite fuming. How dare he say it was best for me. How dare he!

Except telling him off had been stupid. We still had five maybe six days of traveling together and I knew once my adrenaline wore off, I’d regret screaming at him. I was going to have to live with him one way or another for the rest of my life. I couldn’t escape him, and he was so much stronger than me.

But for right now, my body thrummed and I felt good. I felt powerful.