Page 107 of Ensnared by the Pack: The Complete Series (Destined Realms #3)

CYRUS

I paced my office unable to concentrate on my work even though stacks of reports and requests covered most of my large wooden desk. I’d been trying to concentrate for two hours now and hadn’t gotten a thing done.

Seeing Audrey in the foyer had been the first time I’d seen her conscious since I’d yelled at her yesterday morning and she’d retreated into her shell. She was even more withdrawn than she’d been when she’d first arrived and I knew it had nothing to do with being manipulated into hurting herself and everything to do with me.

The thought squeezed my chest, making it hard to breathe, and I clenched my jaw against howling out my frustration.

I had to stay in control. And in better control than when she’d dropped her gaze in the foyer. My frustration at her retreating into herself and my guilt for hurting her enough that someone could have influenced her into her hurting herself were just too strong, and I’d been unable to fully contain my power.

No one could know how I really felt about Audrey, how I desperately wanted to go with my wolf’s instinct, to say to hell with pack responsibilities, and court her like Bishop was. My wolf was determined to have her and all but the responsible side of my human half agreed with him.

Except it wasn’t possible. She couldn’t be mine. I had to remember that.

Why couldn’t I remember that? Why couldn’t I stop thinking about her, about how she’d worked so hard during our trip north, how she made something in my chest warm when she was near or smiling or relaxed, and how much I’d needed to protect her when she’d been suffering through her heat?

I’d thought her hating me would kill those thoughts and help me stay detached, that it was for the best for us to keep our distance from each other. It probably still was the best way to go about it. But that didn’t stop all the air from being sucked out of the foyer when I’d stepped inside and she’d looked at her feet.

The air hadn’t returned when I’d accidentally let my power slip and forced her to look at me. Her eye contact had been so brief, I couldn’t help wondering if it had really happened before it slid to somewhere past my shoulder.

And then — of course! — I had to be me. I commented on the first thing I noticed, the bowl piled with fruit and bread.

Dinner really had been in two hours, but she hadn’t needed to be reprimanded about it. Eloise had probably told her when dinner was when she’d handed Audrey the bowl of food.

Knowing our head cook, the grandmother had taken one look at Audrey, decided she was too skinny, and wouldn’t take no for an answer. Without a doubt, Audrey hadn’t been able to decline the food.

And with me playing the villain in order to not let my attraction to her take over and keep her away from unnecessary scrutiny, she didn’t want to explain that to me.

A growl slipped past my clenched jaw, the sound low and dangerous, and I was grateful there wasn’t anyone around to hear me.

She’d shut down when I’d lost my mind with fear and yelled at her. She hadn’t reacted the way I’d expected but I’d have thought she’d have regrouped by now. She was so determined about everything, it drove me crazy seeing her so submissive.

I could only pray her submissiveness was only with me and not everyone in the pack.

She obviously wasn’t that way with Bishop. I’d overheard him asking Eloise for a romantic picnic and it looked like it had worked. She was wearing Bishop’s shirt and had his and — much to my surprise — Knox’s scent coating her like a second skin.

That, at least, was promising, especially if she was accepting Knox… unless, of course, I’d scared her so much she’d lost all her fight and was giving in to Knox’s demands.

No. That couldn’t be true. She was so determined to make him grovel, and after having the shit scared out of him and nearly losing her, I knew my brother would do everything in his power to make her happy… even if he didn’t understand it.

Even without a bond between us like Knox had with Bishop, I’d felt Knox’s terror. Hell, everyone in a two-hundred-foot radius had felt it, and without a doubt, the whole pack knew Knox had mate bonded with Audrey.

That was another issue that I wasn’t sure how to deal with. How much did I interfere in Audrey’s life? If I showed her too much favoritism rumors would start.

I huffed a bitter laugh. Rumors had already started from the moment we brought her to Stonehaven. I’d thought everyone would have gotten bored of the idea of me and her during the month we were away, but no. People were still talking about how I’d stormed into Nova’s office to get a dress for Audrey, and now that she was here to stay, people would keep talking.

Damn it. I didn’t know how to fix this. And I really wanted to fix this.

But fixing social problems was Bishop’s job, and I had to stay out of it and be patient or I’d make things worse.

I slammed my fist against my desk, pulling back at the last minute so I didn’t break it. I used to be good at patience, but it was getting harder and harder to stay in control.

I’d been the one who’d weakened her mental defenses so that asshole could convince her to hurt herself, and I’d been the one to make her afraid of me.

Her being submissive was all my fault and I hated myself for it.

Someone touched my mind, asking permission to talk to me, and I mentally touched them back, letting them know they weren’t interrupting.

I’ve notified Audrey that dinner will be ready in ten minutes, Eloise said.

Thank you, I replied, as I ran a nervous hand over my head and silently prayed, Please, let her submissiveness just be with me. Please, don’t let me have fucked this up for her.

I’d asked Eloise to notify Audrey about dinner since I had no idea if anyone had pointed out the clock on the mantle over the fireplace or if she even knew how to read it. I’d tried to ask Bishop to get her, he’d been the most obvious choice and the least likely to startle her, but he’d had to leave the Residence’s grounds, and while I’d been able to reach him, he didn’t have the telepathic strength to reach Audrey.

I headed out, knowing I’d get to the dining room early, but I couldn’t continue to pace in my office. I’d check in with Eloise to see how she and Kira were doing. Eloise had a new grandchild — number two — who’d been born a few weeks before we’d left for the death god’s temple, and Kira was studying foreign cuisine with a visiting Dedearc chef who’d been invited to take over the fanciest restaurant in town until the fall.

Except as I rounded the corner and strode into the wider hall where some of our small public rooms were, I saw Audrey, and all the air vanished again, from the hall, my lungs, from everywhere.

She sat on a bench in an alcove, leaning into the corner where the shadows were the deepest. But they weren’t enough to hide her. Even tucked away, someone standing at the right angle — like I was — would be able to see most of her.

It also didn’t help her that she’d worn a dark green dress. From her nervous posture, I suspected she thought it would help her blend into the background, but all it did was contrast with her pale skin and her blond hair and drew my attention to her hazel eyes and soft pink lips as if they were the only sparks of color on her black and white canvas.

She looked even more fragile than she had in the foyer and certainly before I’d yelled at her, and I couldn’t stop staring at her. My heart hurt looking at her.

The memory of pushing into her warm hot sheath, her body too weak and exhausted, swept through me. I’d needed so desperately to protect her then, just like I needed to now. Except I had no idea how to do that and keep my distance.