Page 145 of Ensnared by the Pack: The Complete Series (Destined Realms #3)

AUDREY

Cyrus held me as the heat of the glitter-induced desire cooled and our breathing returned to normal. “Are you okay?”

I nodded but kept clinging to him, afraid to look him in the eyes. I didn’t know what to say or how to feel.

Disappointment and frustration twisted in my gut, and I could only hope Knox was too distracted by his own emotions and Bishop’s pain to notice… because I had no idea what to say to him, either.

In the moment, I’d been so sure Cyrus was mine and I had to have him and I sure as hell couldn’t have made it back to camp without having sex. But I hadn’t formed a mating bond with him, which meant that horrible voice inside me that insisted he was mine was wrong.

And now I had no idea how I could ever look him in the eyes.

Except I was also frustrated that I felt that way. Sure, I was attracted to him and I had fantasies about him — which actually hadn’t been fantasies but memories — but that didn’t mean there was something between us.

Hell, I still didn’t completely trust him despite what my instincts were telling me.

It was exactly what I’d told him before we’d had sex. It didn’t mean anything.

He’d been helping me out like he’d helped me out during my heat. We’d both been influenced by the spirits and their magical glitter and it was never going to happen again… no matter how much that stupid voice inside me wanted it.

“Come on,” he said as he carefully lifted me off his lap and set me on the ground. “We have to get back to camp.”

I grabbed my pants — they were the closest — and stood on shaky legs to put them on.

Inside me, Knox’s emotions continued to crush around my heart, adding to my own confusing mix of emotions. I was going to have to talk with him about what had happened. We were mates and I’d had sex with someone else. I wasn’t going to try to hide it.

I mentally rolled my eyes at myself. Even if I wanted to — which I didn’t because that was wrong — there was no way I’d be able to hide it. I could scrub myself down in the stream where I’d filled our canteens and Knox still would have been able to smell his brother on me.

I finished getting dressed while Cyrus pulled up his pants and retrieved four of our six canteens scattered across the top of the ridge. The other two, along with his shirt, were at the bottom in the glade, sacrifices to whichever god or goddess of sex or love or whatever slept in the land below.

He handed me the canteens, gathered a large armful of firewood, and we hiked back to camp.

Deacon glanced up, the first to see us, and his eyes widened. “What happened?”

Everyone else looked up at his words and I hunched my shoulders, curling in on myself, not wanting to deal with questions or judgment even among people I considered friends.

“Aphrodite’s lands have expanded,” Cyrus huffed as if that explained everything. And maybe it did. We’d been overcome with lust and it had been a battle to stop ourselves long enough to get away.

“Are you okay, Audrey?” Deacon asked, his expression growing concerned even as his nostrils flared, not-so-subtly drawing in the scent of mine and Cyrus’s mixed releases.

“I’m fine.” I set the canteens near our packs and started to sag to the ground beside Bishop, nervous about Knox’s reaction.

But before my knees hit the cavern’s floor, Knox grabbed me, pulled me into his lap, and clung to me as if he were afraid I was going to run away. “You’re not fine.”

“I had sex with your brother. I didn’t mean to, but I’d wanted to and I…” Guilt twisted in my gut.

“Did he give you what you need?”

I nodded, afraid to speak.

“Then that’s all that matters.”

Love and certainty cut through the other emotions, and I leaned into him, clinging to the sensation. This time, he was sending me reassurance and I knew in my heart he didn’t think I’d done anything wrong. Still, it had been extenuating circumstances and I couldn’t let it happen again.

No matter how much that voice in my head was certain Cyrus was mine.

“Once we’ve saved Bishop, the three of you are going to have to talk about Audrey taking more mates,” Cyrus said, his voice gruff as he added more wood to the fire.

“What?” I gasped as Knox tensed and Deacon choked mid-sip of his canteen, spraying water into the flames.

That strange primal feeling inside me jolted as if Cyrus’s words confirmed that he was mine even though it was clear he wasn’t.

“You couldn’t have waited until she bonded with Bishop then gotten Bishop to bring it up,” Deacon groaned.

“It’s obvious she’s feeling guilty,” Cyrus shot back. “She needs to get over that or she’s going to be in trouble when her next heat hits.”

“I’m sure two mates will be more than enough,” I insisted, my cheeks burning with embarrassment.

The muscles in Cyrus’s jaw flexed. “You need to prepare yourself. You formed mating bonds with Knox and Bishop without the vows and your last heat turned into a near-deadly fever just like a powerful female alpha without enough mates.”

“That was because of my incomplete mating bond. I’m so far away from being a powerful female alpha it’s laughable. I’m not going to need more mates.”

Deacon opened his mouth then snapped it shut, and Cyrus looked at me like I was being stupid.

I turned to Knox, but even he was giving me a strange look.

“You resisted the full force of Cyrus’s power and almost had him submitting to you,” Knox said.

“That was your power,” I told Knox. “I was channeling it through our bond.”

Knox shook his head and my heart stuttered.

It hadn’t been his power?

It had been my power?

That ferocious wildness that had roared through me was mine? It wasn’t just a dream?

Impossible.

A hysterical laugh escaped my lips and I shook my head. I was weak. I’d always be weak. If I was an alpha, why hadn’t my wolf woken? Why was I still… me?

“Your power might only be able to break through your curse when your mates are in danger,” Cyrus said. “But that doesn’t mean you won’t have the side effects of being powerful. For all we know, unlike alpha females from this realm, you’ll claim the mates you need like you claimed Knox and Bishop.” His gaze jumped to Knox. “Bishop will understand, but you need your wolf to be okay with that.”

“Whatever protects Audrey,” Knox growled, his eyes darkening with his wolf.

“So you’d just be fine with me being with other men?”

“If they’re worthy, yes,” he replied.

I wasn’t going to ask what made someone worthy in Knox’s eyes. It was all too much. Knox was agreeing to share me with someone, maybe multiple someones, even though I could feel his possessiveness toward me. And somehow, beyond my wildest dreams, I was an alpha. Except I could only reach my power when I was freaking out and even then, I had no control over it.

I hugged myself and curled into Knox’s embrace. I really wanted Bishop. He’d know what to say to make sense of everything.

Was Cyrus right? Would I just claim whoever I needed whether I knew them or not? I didn’t want to be mate bonded with a stranger again. Would fate be so cruel a second time or should I trust it? Things had worked out with Knox and I knew in my soul that he was mine, just like Bishop was mine.

I let my gaze wander to Cyrus who turned his attention to rotating our dinner on the spit.

My soul said he was mine, too, but I hadn’t bonded with him.

I probably wasn’t ready… or Cyrus wasn’t. He’d made it clear he wasn’t interested in me. Would that change?

And was there any point in worrying about it?

Fate was going to do what fate was going to do. Right now the only thing I did have control over was saving Bishop, and I damn well was going to do that.