Page 101 of Ensnared by the Pack: The Complete Series (Destined Realms #3)

AUDREY

I woke to a gentle hand on my shoulder and Nova’s soft voice calling my name.

“Hey,” she said as she sat on the edge of the bed and I blinked sleepily at her. “How are you feeling?”

Amazing. Boneless. Thoroughly satisfied. I hadn’t orgasmed so hard in my life.

And to know my pleasure had also brought Knox pleasure was empowering. I’d feared knowing what he felt would be distracting or worse, overwhelming by not knowing where my emotions ended and his began. But it had enhanced everything, a feedback loop that had just kept building and building with glorious pleasure.

After I’d seen stars and the universe and everything, Knox had carried me inside, saying he could handle a few hours before the walls closed in on him. He’d helped steady my boneless and still-trembling body as we cleaned up in the shower then held me until I fell asleep.

He’d warned me that he wouldn’t be able to stay and he hadn’t. The space behind me where he’d been was cold which meant he’d been gone for a while.

A whisper of disappointment that I was alone in bed curled within me but I shoved it down. It wasn’t his fault. I’d felt his growing unease as we’d cuddled even though we hadn’t been inside for very long, and I could tell he was trying to hide it from me.

That was just who he was and I had to accept that, just like he had to accept I was a shifter who couldn’t shift.

Except that wasn’t what Nova was asking me about. She didn’t know Knox had given me an earth-shattering orgasm or that we’d cuddle in bed until I passed out. She was asking about my new scars, the ones that had been under the gauze patches that Knox had peeled away in the shower.

How was I feeling?

Better and yet not better.

Most of the weight and shame and grief since waking from the heat fever was gone, although not all of it. I didn’t doubt that Bishop cared for me and the fear that he was using me and would throw me away when he was done was also gone.

But I was still wary of Cyrus and every other pack member… including Nova. Not because I thought Cyrus would hurt or punish me to the extent Merrick or Sterling had, but because there was still a chance he would reprimand me with more than just words next time. That, and he’d made it clear he didn’t like weaknesses and I was a weakness.

It would be best if I just stayed out of sight and not remind him that I was permanently bound to his family, as well as keep a low profile from the rest of the pack, let them know I knew my place at least until I’d proven that I wasn’t worthless. Hopefully, everyone would just leave me alone.

On the other hand, I was ashamed and embarrassed that Sterling had manipulated me again. How long had he been whispering poison into my soul? And how long until Whil’s magical block broke and he was influencing me again?

Except the only thing I could do about it was to pay attention to when my thoughts turned dark and ask Whil to remake the block.

I sighed. Always being on guard and hiding from everyone was no way to live, but, at the moment, it was the only way I had.

“I’m okay,” I told her hesitantly, deciding okay was the safest, least complicated response I could give her.

She raised an eyebrow at that.

Guess “not complicated” wasn’t a satisfactory response.

But what else could I say? Nova had been kind to me, but she’d grown up and was close friends with Bishop, Knox, and Cyrus. I needed to be careful what I said to her. At least until I was certain I could trust her.

“I ah… I spent a month walking and the spell failed, and I ah… have a mate who’s…” How did I politely sum up Knox yet still sound truthful? I couldn’t lie to her. She knew better than me that Knox had issues.

“Complicated?” Nova supplied as she motioned for me to sit up. “You have a complicated mate.”

“Sure. Let’s go with complicated.” And hot and moody and fierce and good with his mouth and difficult. “I have a mate bond neither of us wanted and I’m… ah… not sure how I can be useful to the pack.”

I sat up, holding the sheet to my breasts to keep myself covered even though I knew she wanted to look at my injuries. Thankfully she didn’t comment on the fact that I hadn’t told her anything about my situation that she didn’t already know or about my modesty. From what I’d seen of this pack, nudity wasn’t something to be embarrassed about and most shifters weren’t.

Only my pack, which had cursed ourselves generations ago to prevent us from shifting before after our eighteenth birthday had human-levels of modesty. And since my wolf hadn’t awakened and I’d never shifted, I’d never been nude in public before.

“So, yeah,” Nova replied with a wry smile. “Okay. Sounds about right.” She looked at the new, pink scars on my left breast and on my left inner arm. “These have healed nicely. You should soak in the bath for a few minutes so it’s easier to take the stitches out.”

And then it’d be back to how it was when I’d first arrived: me needing to figure out my place in this pack and prove my worthiness. Except I needed to be careful how I went about doing it, certainly more careful with how I interacted with people than before.

Which wasn’t entirely true. I was now fully mated to Knox and Bishop had promised to court me. I wasn’t back to nothing.

Still, I didn’t want my identity to revolve around the men in my life. I could be more than just someone’s mate, no matter what Merrick or Sterling or all the others said about me.

“So, Cyrus mentioned you might be interested in joining a first aid class,” Nova said as she hurried ahead of me to the bathroom and started filling the tub. “He said you knew the basics and didn’t panic at the sight of blood.”

I glanced around for a robe but didn’t see one and didn’t want to grab something from the wardrobe and change when I was only going to undress again as soon as I got to the bath.

“It wasn’t anything special,” I said, contemplating wrapping myself in the sheet then deciding to just suck it up.

Nova wouldn’t care that I was naked and she was a doctor, so I clenched my jaw, trying to keep my insecurities from overwhelming me, and shuffled on still slightly weak legs to the bathtub.

“Your ability to shift eliminates the risk of infection so there isn’t a lot to worry about,” I said. I’d bandaged a few of Knox’s deeper wounds after our first fight with a pack of jackals, but it hadn’t been anything anyone else couldn’t have done.

“Still, if you’re interested, I have a class in a few days that’s going through how and when to use everything in the emergency medical packs we’ve placed all over town. I wouldn’t say no to anyone who wants to learn about them.”

Worry darkened her expression and I could just imagine what she was thinking. Too many people had been seriously hurt and killed when that pack of grimalkins had attacked the town. She wanted anyone and everyone able to help save lives if it ever happened again.

And so did I. Maybe someone could have saved those children the grimalkin had killed. I’d managed to save four of them, and the other two had looked dead, but maybe they hadn’t been. Maybe some of the pack’s magical elixir would have saved them.

“Sure.” I sank into the tub, letting the warm water lap up to my chin to ensure the stitches on my chest were submerged while Nova perched on the edge of the large tub and thankfully looked away to give me privacy. “I’ll take the class.”

I just hoped this was a hands-on class and didn’t involve a textbook like the classes back home since I couldn’t read their language. Which was something else I was going to have to take care of sooner rather than later.

But Bishop had said he’d help me with that so now I just needed to remember to bring it up whenever I saw him next.

“Knox said you weren’t aware that you’d hurt yourself,” Nova said. “You want to tell me what happened?”

Not really. But she’d asked and not answering her could make her angry since she was my superior in the pack, something I should have been thinking about from the moment I’d first met her a month ago.

“I’m not really sure,” I replied, trying to keep the hesitation from my voice.

Except that was only half the truth. After our shower, while snuggling in bed, Knox had told me that Sterling had manipulated my dreams and he’d been able to make me hurt myself because I’d already been afraid and sad and desperate. But I wasn’t sure how much I wanted to confess to Nova. If she knew about my weaknesses, she could use them against me.

Except that had been true in my previous pack. It might not be true with this one.

Thinking both packs were the same was Sterling’s doing. Nova had already been kind to me, and while I didn’t have definitive proof I could trust her, I wanted to give her a chance.

I wanted to give everyone a chance.

Which was ridiculously naive of me, but I couldn’t help myself. My old pack had decided I was useless before I’d even had a chance to prove myself. I didn’t want to make the same mistake.

“I’d been having bad dreams since I woke from the heat fever,” I told her, my heart racing as I studied her profile for any hint that I’d revealed too much.

But Nova’s expression didn’t darken or turn pleased. It didn’t even stay the same as if she were trying to keep her emotions hidden. Instead, her lips pressed tight, her brow furrowed in concern, and a hint of her power slipped her control as if she were upset, but not necessarily angry at me.

“Cyrus mentioned the only way to break your heat was for you and Knox to seal your bond. I’m sorry for that. I know neither of you wanted it.”

“What else did Cyrus tell you?” Had he talked about how I didn’t know my place or that I couldn’t do anything?

“Only medically pertinent information,” she replied. “That your heat turned into a fever and went longer than normal and way beyond what was safe. We’re going to need to watch out for that in about six months when you have your next heat just in case it wasn’t just the bond affecting you. He also said that you got some new scars on your shin from fighting a grimalkin and that you almost drowned. You seem to have bad luck when it comes to beasts, monsters, and fast-moving water.”

That was an understatement. So far, I was 0-2 for falling in rivers and nearly drowning and 2-5 in the monster department with only two wins because I hadn’t actually fought any of the jackals.

Or was I 2-7? Did psychopathic Sterling count as a monster? I mean, I knew he was a monster, but physically he was just a shifter.

“Yeah,” I agreed, dropping my gaze in case she looked at me.

“We’re going to have to keep an eye on you,” she added

I didn’t know if she meant that in a caring way or a controlling way, and the thought sent a shiver rushing down my spine.

“Audrey,” Nova said, her posture tensing as if she’d seen my shiver. “It’s understandable that you’ve had bad dreams. You’re from another realm. Things work differently here and you’re alone and surrounded by strangers. I’d be shocked if you didn’t have doubts or fears that haunt your dreams. It’s understandable that someone magically connected to you could amplify them.” She stood and grabbed a large towel from the rack near the tub, her tone softening. “No one is upset at what happened. We’re just worried about you and want to keep you safe.”

That was something Merrick had said when he’d first taken me in, but I didn’t get the sense that Nova meant it in the same way he had. She sounded like she was genuinely concerned about me.

“So you know I’m from another realm?” I asked, hoping she wouldn’t notice that I’d changed the conversation to something less personal.

She handed me the towel without looking at me. Gratitude swelled within me that she was respecting my shyness even though she probably didn’t understand it.

“Deacon got the guys to talk your first night out, and he told me when he, his hunt team, and Whil returned from Anakar,” she said. “Wrap yourself in the towel and lie down on the bed so we can get those stitches out.”

“Does everyone know?” I asked, obeying her instructions. Would it be good if everyone knew or would people somehow take advantage of me? It certainly would make me look like even more of a freak than I already was.

Nova grabbed her medical bag from the floor near the bedroom door and sat beside me. “Just me and Deacon and whoever else you’ve told.”

“So only you two, Bishop, Cyrus, Knox, and Whil,” I said as she pulled out her supplies then turned my left arm so it was resting comfortably on the bed and she could easily remove the stitches.

“Your hedging when I was trying to get your family history with heats makes more sense now.”

“I wasn’t hedging. Heats in my realm aren’t like heats here.” But I also hadn’t told her the truth because I didn’t want to become a science experiment or for her to think I was crazy and lock me up in an institution or wherever it was they locked crazy people here.

“I’d like to take some blood and monitor you,” she said. “If heats don’t get serious in your realm, and your first heat rose to a fever then other changes could be happening to you. It’s best to try to stay on top of it.”

And with one little statement, all the positive feelings I had about Nova during this conversation vanished.

“How closely do you want to monitor me?” I asked, trying to keep my fear from my voice.

“Just vitals and blood. You’re not going to be an experiment,” she assured me as if she knew that was one of my fears. “You have a life and a new mate who, let me tell you, is going to be a handful.” She rolled her eyes at me, a lifetime of knowing Knox and his ways making her expression wry.

“He will be. But I think we’ll figure it out. He’s already agreed to try to make our mating work, which seems like a big deal for him.”

“It’s huge,” she replied. “Enormous. Knox hasn’t tried anything with anyone since he was a kid. For a while there, he wasn’t even speaking with Cyrus and Bishop. Just basic communication with Deacon to get his solo hunting assignments.”

Which didn’t surprise me. Even before I’d felt the whisper of panic through our bond when Knox had mentioned he couldn’t stand crowds, I knew he didn’t like them. His avoiding me hadn’t just been because I was an unwanted mate. It was because he didn’t like social interactions with anyone.

Speaking of?—

“Do you know if he’s waiting outside for me?” I didn’t expect him to be waiting, but if he was, I didn’t want to waste his time.

“Knox had to meet with Deacon, but he told me to tell you he’d find you after lunch,” Nova said. “Don’t let him take you on a long walk outside of town. You’re still recovering from your injuries, your heat fever, and all that traveling. And don’t let Bishop march you all around town, either. You’re to stay on the Residence’s grounds for the next four days, eat three meals a day plus snacks, gain some weight back, and take it easy.”

She leveled a hard look at me, meeting my gaze and holding it in a show of dominance. A flicker of her power washed over me, not enough to compel me to do what she’d ordered but enough to remind me that she could.

“No leaving the Residence, eating more, and taking it easy,” I repeated. “Got it.”

I hadn’t planned anything for the next little while. Hell, at the moment I didn’t have plans for anything, not my future, or what to do about Knox and Bishop, or if I wanted to face Cyrus again or just avoid him as best I could for the rest of my life.

Staying put for the next four days was okay. Hopefully, by then I’d come up with some answers.