Page 174 of Ensnared by the Pack: The Complete Series (Destined Realms #3)

CYRUS

I paced my office, waiting for Bishop to arrive. The sun had barely crept above the horizon, but I’d already been up for hours. Hell, I shouldn’t have even bothered trying to go to bed. My mind hadn’t settled and I’d barely gotten a few hours of terrible sleep.

Damn it. I felt like everything was spiraling out of control.

Like I was spiraling out of control.

I’d caught a glimmer of gold last night and turned to look out the ballroom door and Audrey had been standing there. I hadn’t thought she could look more beautiful than when she’d shown up for the city tour yesterday morning wearing a dress that matched the flecks in Bishop’s eyes and was designed to show off her mating marks. But last night she’d been breathtaking.

And now I couldn’t stop thinking about her, couldn’t stop remembering how it felt to bury myself inside her tight, hot sheath, and how my wolf had almost claimed her.

And of course, I hadn’t had time to talk with her about anything. I’d had to rush away to deal with the fallout of the attack. And I’d left with a “we need to talk.”

Which was the stupidest thing I could have said.

Even I knew you didn’t say that to a woman after sex. You told her how beautiful she was, how much you cared about her. Hell, I could have even talked about wanting to protect her — although I had a feeling that would have come out wrong, too.

But no. My alpha mask had slammed into place the second I’d realized I’d lost control of myself and needed to be focusing on the most urgent matter: the aftermath of the grimalkin attacks and those merchants with their dangerous weapons that I felt we had no choice but to buy.

Except that only made me think of everything else going on: helping the injured and those who’d lost loved ones, proper burials, and the deaths of the fighters from the alliance, which I prayed wouldn’t turn into a political incident.

Thankfully, Folmar wouldn’t demand reparations for Cohnal’s injuries even though I could tell she was heartbroken. He was a good man, but their pride wouldn’t accept him now as alpha mate — since their primary alphas were always women. No gryphon alpha female would think he, blind in one eye and missing half a leg, would be a worthy mate.

I sighed. Audrey would be so upset when she learned of all that. He’d heroically taken on three grimalkins by himself to protect her along with the women and children in that small square. He’d managed to kill all of them before help had arrived, and Audrey would be pissed that he was going to be punished for it, even if it wasn’t an intentional punishment. I’d seen her speak with him during the tour, so I knew she knew him, even if it was just casual. Hell, even if she hadn’t known him, she’d still be upset because that was the generous soul that was my mate?—

Not my mate.

Not yet.

Someone knocked on my office door and opened it without waiting for my response.

“Good,” I said as Bishop walked in.

“What’s the plan for today?” he asked, closing the door and pacing to the windows behind my desk.

“Is Knox with her?” I blurted out before I realized what I was saying.

Sisters! I was supposed to be talking about the alliance meetings today because the attacks had changed the agenda.

“They’re in bed in her suite,” he replied, the corner of his lips twitching.

“There’s still an assassin on the loose,” I said, and his smile vanished, which wasn’t what I’d meant to say, either. Damn it.

I raked my hands over my head, already feeling the braid I wore to keep it out of my eyes loosening.

“That wasn’t— I didn’t mean—” I blew out a heavy breath.

I wasn’t going to be able to keep her off my mind and focus on everything else.

She was my mate. And while she’d proven she was strong and capable when things were desperate, I couldn’t stop the instincts screaming inside me saying I needed to protect her… and claim her.

Except there was no way she’d accept me as a mate, not with how I’d treated her. And she shouldn’t. She deserved better. It didn’t matter if we could both feel something between us. It didn’t matter that she’d submitted to my wolf and enjoyed herself in the shower. That didn’t mean she accepted me as a mate.

Which meant I needed to court her… one of the things I was an absolute disaster at.

“We need to talk business,” I said, my voice gruff. “But you have to tell me how to court Audrey first. I’m losing my mind. There’s so much going on, and all my wolf cares about is protecting and claiming.”

“And what do you want?” Bishop asked.

I stared at the gardens outside my office window, unable to look him in the eyes. He was Audrey’s mate, fated to be with her just like Knox was. I’d slept with her a few times now, and her soul hadn’t claimed me like it had claimed them. Still?—

“She’s my mate. Our mate,” I said.

“No more pushing her away,” he replied.

“That’s why I need your advice. I open my mouth and I always say the wrong thing.”

“You know that’s not true.”

I stared at him. “My wolf took over and we had sex in the hospital staff shower room. What did I say after when Deacon called me away?”

“You didn’t,” Bishop groaned already knowing it was going to be something stupid. This wasn’t my first time saying the wrong thing to a woman and I doubted it would be my last.

“We need to talk.” I raked my fingers through my hair, pulling out most of the braid. “We need to talk. Who says that after sex? Who says that after my wolf almost sank our teeth into her and claimed her?”

“Sisters, Cyrus,” Bishop said. “At least you didn’t bite her.”

“No shit.” We wouldn’t have bonded, and I’d have just given her another scar, not the mating mark my wolf wanted. She had to accept us first, and that would never happen if I kept doing what I was doing.

“The first thing you need to do is apologize.” Bishop leveled a hard look at me. “And do it from the heart. You can’t be in control of this.”

“I know.” My insides squirmed at the thought.

I was the one in charge, the responsible one. I took on those burdens so no one else had to, but I knew the tiny voice inside me, begging me to surrender, was right. I just had no idea how to let go.

“Should I get her flowers? Sweets? How do I show her I mean it, that I’m sorry and I’d be a good mate?”

Bishop was so good with women. He always knew the right thing to say and do. Hell, he did it unconsciously and half the females in the pack were in love with him… which was another potential danger for Audrey.

Fuck.

I bit back a growl. Why did I always go there? Why was I constantly thinking of dangers? That couldn’t be what I focused on with Audrey. My wolf might think protecting our mate was the only thing that mattered, but even I knew that wasn’t the way to win her heart.

She needed mates who believed in her and thought she was strong and competent, even if her strengths weren’t physical… because they weren’t physical. Her strengths were kindness and empathy.

“You need to be honest with her and vulnerable.”

My wolf jerked our head toward Bishop and snarled. We did not reveal vulnerabilities. We were alpha. The pack needed to know their leader was strong.

“You need to tell her how you feel and why you’ve been a dick to her,” Bishop continued, ignoring my wolf’s warning. “And you need to do it without pride and without being defensive. You need to treat her like you’re treating me right now.”

“I’m not treating her like she’s my brother.”

“No, you should treat her like an equal and a confidant.” Bishop’s expression softened. “That’s what a mate is. A partner, an equal, someone you trust implicitly, and someone who doesn’t judge you for your flaws.”

Which was exactly what Bishop and Audrey were to each other. It didn’t mean he didn’t have to apologize or work to keep their relationship alive and healthy. It meant that they talked it out when something went wrong, and that they had each other’s backs when dealing with everyone else.

Me being overprotective undermined Audrey and her relationships. She already had a protector she trusted in Knox and a lover who worshiped her in Bishop. My role was to be her equal, to prove to her I trusted her and valued her opinions, to show her she was and always would be worthy.

And all I needed to do was let go and trust.