Page 53 of Ensnared by the Pack: The Complete Series (Destined Realms #3)

KNOX

“You’ve been dreaming of me?” Just like I’d been dreaming about her?

That was not what I thought she’d say. I expected something like I was an asshole and it didn’t matter that I looked like my brother.

“Yes, I have, I ah…” Her hands trembled as she taped a piece of gauze over the gash in my thigh. The scent of her arousal grew stronger and my cock hardened at the thought that maybe she actually did desire me.

Or maybe it was just the bond and her heat affecting her. But what her arousal really told me was what kind of dreams she’d been having. The same kind of dreams I’d been having of her?—

Ah, shit.

We hadn’t been dreaming separate dreams but shared ones. Bishop and I sometimes shared dreams, but that was because we had an unusually strong twin bond.

Which meant our mate bond was even stronger than I feared even though we hadn’t sealed it. And it explained why the ice I’d swept around the chain in an attempt to reject it had weakened the night before we’d left. I’d claimed her that night in our dreams, not my wolf.

Fuck. I couldn’t risk weakening my resolve and strengthening the bond even more, even in my dreams. The odds were already slim that the spell Whil had found would break our bond, and the stronger it was, the harder it would be to break.

I couldn’t jeopardize our one chance to be safely free of each other. No matter how hard it was to control my wolf in my dreams, I had to stop him. It would be best if I didn’t even talk with her— Hell, I shouldn’t even see her. That would be the easiest way to stay in control.

I should warn her, tell her if she saw me again in her dreams she should avoid me… except that meant telling her that her erotic dreams were also my erotic dreams— or rather my wolf’s erotic dreams, and so far, while she was awake, everything about sex embarrassed her.

Without a doubt, she’d be mortified to learn I knew about these dreams.

My brothers might have thought I was an asshole for wanting to break this mating bond, and I’d certainly been an asshole when we’d first met and I’d tried to make her hate me so she’d refute our bond and hopefully break it, but I wasn’t that much of an asshole. I wouldn’t humiliate her, wouldn’t shatter the burgeoning confidence that I felt when we crashed together in our dreams. That would only push her wolf deeper inside her.

And she did have a wolf. If we shared the dreams, then the power I felt within her that rose up and sparked against mine was real. I didn’t know how to awaken that wolf, but I knew driving her deeper into herself and embarrassing her — even if she had no reason to be embarrassed — wouldn’t help her.

No, she could keep her dreams, they’d just change. She’d be alone in the grove, but because she thought it was a dream, it wouldn’t be a big deal.

Yeah, that was the safest and kindest choice. For both of us.

“They’re just dreams,” she mumbled as she slid the cloth over my hip and across the top of my ass, the rasp of fabric making my cock go from “yeah, I could have sex,” to “sex sex sex, now now now.”

I growled and fought to stay on my stomach. If I rolled over, I wouldn’t be able to control myself.

“Sorry,” she said, mistaking my growl for anger at her. “I’m trying not to hurt you.”

I opened my mouth to reassure her that I wasn’t angry, at least not at her, then snapped it shut. If I told her I wanted her, right now in this filthy cave while I was still bleeding, the bond and her heat would crumble any resistance or common sense she had. She’d been on edge since we’d left Stonehaven and fingering herself in the mornings and that one time with Bishop hadn’t been enough to satiate her needs.

She should have agreed to Cyrus two days ago and stopped early so Bishop could fuck her senseless. But from the glimpse I’d gotten of her in our dreams — now that I knew she was really herself — she wouldn’t have had the confidence to just have sex with him. And even if she did, that wasn’t what she wanted. It was obvious she yearned for a connection, yearned for someone to see her for who she was and accept her, broken bits and everything.

Just like I did.

We belong together, my wolf whispered.

No, she belongs with Bishop. I couldn’t be anyone’s mate. I was too broken. My chest was already tightening even though I’d seen the cave in the daylight and knew it was big, bigger than the ballroom in the Residence.

No one wanted a mate who couldn’t spend more than half an hour indoors, who wouldn’t be able to attend his own mate bond ceremony because there’d be too many people.

I’d thought I was furious that she’d trapped me in a mate bond, but I was really furious that I was trapping her. She might have been shy and painfully insecure about her abilities and her worth, but she had grit. She’d demanded Bishop tell her about our realm and how to survive while we walked instead of talking about other things that wouldn’t be as useful. I didn’t know how much she’d remember given that she was distracted and exhausted, but she was determined and that spoke to her true nature, the one hidden behind years of abuse.

She’d also faced off against a grimalkin when she knew she hadn’t stood a chance and kept pushing day after day to get to the death god’s altar as fast as possible to break our bond. She’d even tried to stand up against those assholes who’d tried to sacrifice her to a monster.

I’d given her grief about talking with them because it had ended in disaster and that had pissed me off. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized she’d been trying to stand up for herself.

She’d failed miserably, but that hadn’t been the point. She’d tried.

I still couldn’t believe she’d thought that guy was her mate. He’d made my hackles rise the second I saw him, and then listening to him taunt her, thinking she suffered from an incomplete bond and trying to get her to kill herself, disgusted me. She deserved better.

She deserves us.

Stop being an asshole. We won’t be good for her. She deserves Bishop. But she wouldn’t trust that Bishop had feelings for her until our mate bond was broken. And even if she somehow did realize the truth before then, it wouldn’t be because of me. If I said anything, she’d just think I was trying to pawn her off on him instead of telling her the truth.

Audrey finished patching me up, grabbed the closest blanket to cover me then retreated to the other side of the fire. I sucked in a deep breath, trying to get my cock to calm the fuck down, and was flooded with her fresh, sweet scent.

Fuck. If I thought spending time at a dinner for dignitaries from other territories was bad, this was pure torture.

I tried to focus on those dinners. From the moment we could sit still, Mom had required the three of us to attend, and I suspected if she and our fathers were still alive, she’d still demand I show up in human form.

She’d probably been hoping I’d grow out of my aversion to people and crowded rooms and take my place with Cyrus and Bishop as leaders of our pack, but the sensation of being trapped and crushed, all the air sucked out of the room, never went away. It didn’t matter how much time I spent with Bishop steadying my soul, I was irrevocably broken.

If my own twin couldn’t fix me, nothing could. The only time I felt right was when I was outside in my wolf form. It was as if my human form was my secondary form and not the other way around.

Cyrus returned and took Bishop’s place at the cave’s mouth, and Bishop pulled Audrey into his lap and wrapped his blanket around both of them.

How are you feeling? he asked me as Audrey leaned into him, burying her face against his neck and breathing in his scent.

Like I should be a wolf, I replied, pissed that I was pissed because she was taking comfort in his scent and body even though I’d just told myself they belonged together.

If you can last the night, we can get in a full day’s walk tomorrow, he replied.

Because the sooner we break this bond, the sooner you can convince her that you want to do more than help her with her heat?

The sooner I’ll know if what I feel is real or the compulsion from your bond seeping through our bond. He sighed and brushed a lock of hair away from Audrey’s cheek, relaxing her even more.

Had she fallen asleep already? She’d been pushing herself hard for days now and usually had to fight to stay awake during dinner. It wouldn’t surprise me if she crashed the moment she felt safe and all the adrenaline had left her body.

If the bond can’t be broken, I’ve asked Whil to see if she can transfer it to me. But if we can’t do that either, you won’t have to be alone in your relationship, he said, not surprising me at all. I’ll join your mate bond.

Sounds like you’ve already figured out if your feelings for her are real. And I had no idea how I felt about that. I was jealous that she wasn’t taking comfort in me, but not jealous at the idea that we’d share a mate. It would be best for Audrey and I wouldn’t die or go insane. I could carry on as I had before while Audrey got the mate she deserved. It seemed like a win-win for everyone.

I always thought we’d end up sharing a mate, Bishop said as he pressed his lips against the top of her head and inhaled her scent. I’m not at all upset that it’s Audrey. There’s something about her…

There is, I conceded.

Bishop let my admission hang between us, not ribbing or encouraging me, knowing — because he knew me better than anyone — that I needed to come to terms with it.

I closed my eyes. Now Audrey’s scent wasn’t torture, but a comfort, as if admitting the truth had changed something inside me.

But it didn’t change what needed to be done. The best possible outcome was to break the mate bond and set her free, then she wouldn’t be able to doubt Bishop’s intentions for wanting to mate with her and she wouldn’t be stuck with me.

Now all I had to do was keep my wolf from jumping her in our dreams for the next four days and pray the spell Whil had found actually worked.