Page 76 of Ensnared by the Pack: The Complete Series (Destined Realms #3)

KNOX

Audrey sagged against me, her body going completely limp and her breathing turning deep and steady with unconsciousness. The heat from her skin cooled, faster than I would have expected, but then her fever hadn’t been a hundred percent natural. It had been spurred on by the magic of our mating bond.

Our now complete mating bond.

Warmth, unlike anything I’d ever experienced before, swelled around my heart, and a sense of calm, of being home, stronger than what I felt when my twin was steadying my soul, surged into the very essence of my being.

How could I have been so stupid to think sealing the bond with Audrey was a bad thing?

It was the most right thing I’d ever done in my life. Even my wolf, while still pissed that he was collared and yearning to claim Audrey again with him in control of our body, was satisfied.

But that still didn’t address any of the reasons I couldn’t be her mate. How could we possibly have a life together when I lived most of my time as a wolf and she couldn’t even shift? I couldn’t even spend more than a few hours inside.

That thought made me suddenly aware of the walls surrounding me. The bathroom wasn’t the smallest I’d seen, but it was still an enclosed space with one too-small window.

Holding Audrey steady on her perch on the counter, I kicked off my boots, stepped out of my wet pants, and yanked off my soaked shirt. Then I carried her out to the porch, snagging the blanket on the back of the couch in the living room as I walked by.

I should have taken her back to the bedroom and left her with Bishop, but I wasn’t ready to let her go. Just holding her was steadying my soul and I needed to stay calm. I had too many thoughts whirling in my head and no answers.

A low growl rumbled in my chest as I wrapped the blanket around us and settled on the porch swing with Audrey cradled in my arms.

She sighed in her sleep and nuzzled her nose into the crook of my neck, taking in deep, slow breaths of my scent while her sweet scent and musky arousal clung to me, fueling the sense of rightness.

Mine. All mine.

Except she wasn’t just mine. She and Bishop had feelings for each other, and as much as I wanted to hold her and never let her go, I knew Bishop would be good for her. Better than me.

In fact, I should push him to claim her as soon as possible. Maybe his claim would distract her from our bond and she wouldn’t be compelled to be with me.

She could have a normal life.

With my brother.

My wolf heaved against the collar, snarling and snapping his mental teeth at me. Giving her to Bishop and then trying to step away from her life was unacceptable. She was ours. We’d never leave her.

Even if it’s best for her?

We’re what’s best for her, he growled, the collar making him sound far away and muffled.

But we weren’t best. Hell, I didn’t even know what to say to her when she woke. Even if she hadn’t actually been fully lucid and the heat fever prevented her from remembering having sex in the bathroom, she’d know right away the mating bond was sealed. There was no mistaking the sense of completeness, of rightness… of permanence.

It felt so different from the heavy aching cage around my heart and the chain binding us together that had first formed and I’d filled with ice to keep us apart.

Ice and distance that I’d known had hurt her.

And now I really had no idea what to say to her.

Sorry wasn’t enough. And neither was an explanation. Now that we were bonded, my reasons felt stupid and yet still so significant.

Fuck. I had no idea what to do. I’d never been in a relationship before. I’d had a few flings, most of them with Bishop at my side, before my wolf had taken over and I’d gone feral. They’d been pity or curiosity fucks, girls wanting to say they’d had the wild brother, the dangerous one. But none of them had been serious.

Hell, none of them had even been casual. How could they have been? I wasn’t normal. I was fucked up. I didn’t want to meet friends or family. I didn’t want to be social and go to parties or dinners or events. I wanted to be left the fuck alone.

Until now.

But alone was the best option for Audrey.

She had a life to build, a fresh start waiting for her in Stonehaven, and my fucked-up head would only stand in her way.

Panic flooded my twin bond and I gritted my teeth, determined to not let it affect me. Bishop was awake and had just realized Audrey wasn’t in bed.

I’ve got her, I told him. We’re on the porch swing.

The panic shattered, followed by confusion then a stomach-churning mix of emotions flashing so fast they were nearly impossible to recognize as he realized I’d sealed the mating bond.

Yeah. That was how I felt about the whole situation as well.

Why? he asked, his footsteps hurrying across the living room floor and drawing closer to the door.

You know why. Her fever wasn’t going to break unless the bond was sealed and now her fever has broken.

The door creaked open and Bishop stood in the doorway looking exhausted. His gaze slid over Audrey curled against me, her expression relaxed and peaceful, and he released a heavy breath.

Thank the Sisters, he said, sagging against the doorframe as the energy from his fear evaporated.

As soon as she’s strong enough, you need to mate with her, I told him, even as a part of me roared at the words. She was mine. I was supposed to be able to protect her and fulfill her needs. But I couldn’t and I never would.

You still need to develop a relationship with her, Bishop said as if he already knew that I planned to keep my distance after he bonded with her — probably because that’s what I did with all the things I couldn’t handle. It was always easier to say, ‘to hell with it,’ and move on. And it would be better for Audrey if I did.

Cyrus, still in his massive black wolf form, bounded out of the underbrush on the far side of the glade and raced toward us, stopping at the foot of the porch steps. His tongue lolled from his mouth and his sides heaved with heavy breaths as if he’d spent the entire time away from the cabin running.

Knox sealed the bond and broke her heat, Bishop said.

Good, Cyrus stepped forward, his form turning liquid for the blink of an eye before solidifying into his human form, and he marched up the steps to the door. We still leave in the morning.

Shouldn’t we give her a day to recover? Bishop asked.

Cyrus glared at him and Bishop moved to the side to let him pass.

She can recover on the way. The fever might have done more than exhaust and starve her, and we can’t chance Kelna’s human healer not recognizing if there’s a problem.

And while the healing elixir Whil made healed a lot of things, it didn’t help with exhaustion, starvation, or rifts between our human and wolf souls. Given how Audrey’s connection to her wolf was so buried she couldn’t even shift, it wouldn’t surprise me if the heat fever had created more problems.

The thought made me tighten my grip on her.

If I hadn’t been stubborn, none of this would have happened, and the only way I could think of to make it up to her was to convince Bishop to mate with her as soon as possible and stay the hell out of her life. Our bond was sealed and the overwhelming compulsion to be together was gone.

Audrey bonding with Bishop would overpower any other desires to be with me. It had to.