Page 35 of Ensnared by the Pack: The Complete Series (Destined Realms #3)
AUDREY
“The ruins are on our way,” Cyrus said. “We’ll go with Whil and Deacon and a small hunt team to check out this magic then head north. Deacon and the team should be enough to protect Whil on the way home.”
Deacon frowned. “North of Darkweald? Why are you going there?” His attention jumped to me, his expression strange. Everyone thought because I’d been found in Darkweald Forest, that I’d come from the north somewhere. “Are you going home?”
“I don’t think I can go home.” And if I could, I wasn’t sure I wanted to.
Back home I was the weak, pathetic shifter who couldn’t shift and had no status in my pack. The alpha’s son — who was now the pack alpha since he’d murdered his father — and his best friend had tried to sacrifice me to a monster for power because they thought that was all I was good for.
I’d only spent a few days here, but I fit in more and was accepted more in this strange realm than I ever did at home. Although I supposed these people could turn on me since I’d already proven I was a terrible judge of character. For all I knew, the moment my bond with Knox was severed Cyrus and Bishop would decide I was worthless, and I’d be back to being an alpha’s slave.
“You don’t know you can’t return home,” Bishop said, his tone soft, sending a shiver of need rushing through me.
Deacon’s eyes widened and his nostrils flared, while Cyrus’s glower deepened, and Knox started to growl.
Swell. I’d just given everyone a big nose-full of my desire because shifters could smell every damn thing and I had no control over my body right now.
“If you’re smart, you should wait until her heat is done,” Deacon said, his lips quirking again as if he was trying not to laugh. “Or help her get it out of her system.”
Yes, please! With Knox… or Bishop… Cyrus would do…
No damn it. Just no.
My cheeks burned with embarrassment even as heat pooled between my thighs.
Jeez. I only thought having sex with them was a good idea because of the mating bond. Knox would never have sex with me, Cyrus was barely being nice to me, and I didn’t know if Bishop was only being nice because of his brother.
Did I really want to have sex for the first time with someone who didn’t love me? Hell, who didn’t even like me?
Fuck off, Deacon, Knox snarled, his power rolling off him in waves that made me want to slip off the chair and kneel before him in submission. We leave at dawn.
With a low, dangerous growl at Deacon that made the man raise his hands in defense and take a big step back, Knox stalked out of the greenhouse.
“You should probably assemble an all-female hunt team,” Cyrus added, his voice gruff, and he, too, strode out of the greenhouse with Deacon at his side.
“Please tell me there’s a way to control this,” I groaned, turning to Whil. Maybe magic would help me get through the next nine or so days it took to get to the death god’s altar.
“I wish there was,” she replied, “but nothing can affect a mating bond… although I’m surprised at how strong the need to seal your bond is. It’s only a few days old. You should have been able to go at least a week or two before your need to seal the bond is too strong to resist.”
“Is she also in heat?” Bishop asked. “Would that affect her?”
“Possibly. A mating bond can set off a heat. Nova would probably be able to check your hormones to confirm, but there isn’t much she can do about that, either,” Whil said, focusing on me. “From what I know about wolf heats, you just have to get through it. Ideally with a partner, or a couple of partners, with decent stamina.”
Swell. I bet Bishop had decent stamina. Cyrus too. And Knox… well, he was their brother. Stamina probably ran in the family.
Oh. My. God! Stop thinking about sex!
Except— “Heats aren’t this powerful in my realm. They increase a woman’s sexual desire, but not to the point of driving her crazy.”
I’d never heard of a shifter being desperate to have sex with anyone and everyone. Not even one from my pack where our wolf nature and all its instincts burst fully to life when we were eighteen and sometimes overwhelmed us. Not to mention, I still didn’t have a wolf form.
“How am I even in heat? I can’t shift?” I groaned, frustrated and angry that even though I’d escaped Sterling and Royce and my pack, I was still a slave. Only this time I was a slave to my body’s needs.
“Interesting,” Whil said as she stood and headed to a bookcase. “There must be something about this realm that affects a female’s hormones compared to your realm because heats in this realm are quite strong.”
“So more magic?” Just like the magic that let me understand what everyone was saying even though no one spoke English. Except this magic was far more inconvenient.
“I’m sorry,” Bishop said, rubbing circles on my knee and turning me on more. “I wish we could wait for your heat to be over, but the longer we wait, the harder it will be to resist the mating bond.”
I fought a churning mix of desire and fear. I wanted to break the bond as soon as possible, but I was about to spend nine days — longer if things didn’t go well — with two incredibly hot men, and a man my soul said was my mate. I didn’t know if I’d be able to hold out against the growing pressure.
“Once this is over you’ll be able to choose who you want to spend your future heats with without fear of completing a mating bond,” Bishop added.
Yes, with you.
No, damn it.
I stood and jerked away from him, praying a little distance between us would help me. “I’m not ready for this.”
“It’s okay,” Bishop said, his voice soft. “I’ll help you.”
“With everything ?” I asked, heat flooding my core and embarrassment burning my cheeks.
“Yes, even with sex, if that’s what you want. No expectations.”
Oh God, yes.
Except a small part of me, the part that wasn’t desperate and needy or grieving from Knox’s rejection said having sex with Bishop was a terrible idea.
“I don’t know. I’m not— I haven’t?—”
I’d only ever had sex in my dreams and only recently at that. Not to mention, I knew the real thing would be nothing like what I’d fantasized about. Hell, I hadn’t even really kissed a man since my first kiss with Royce didn’t count.
Sex also meant complications. If we couldn’t break the mating bond, Knox and I were going to have to figure out our relationship and my original reasons for not having sex with Bishop were still the same. I didn’t want Knox angry because I’d slept with his brother. That would be bad for me, but also bad for Bishop and his relationship with his brother.
Wolves were notorious for being possessive and it wouldn’t matter if I’d had sex with Bishop while Knox and I were trying to break the bond. He could still end up furious.
Except not everything in this realm was the same as my realm. Maybe wolves here weren’t possessive. Maybe Knox wouldn’t care.
My need tightened into a desperate ache and my breath picked up. Bishop was kind and gorgeous. Maybe it wouldn’t be so terrible for him to be my first even if neither of us wanted a relationship. Women had casual sex all the time.
Except any kind of sex came with the risk of pregnancy and I wasn’t on birth control. Merrick, my pack alpha — my old pack alpha — and the man who’d raised me after my father had died, wouldn’t have ever bothered with the expense and there’d been no one in the pack I’d wanted to have sex with so it hadn’t been worth the humiliation to ask for it.
I’d just have to hold myself together.
And if I couldn’t?
Fuck. I didn’t know if I could.
“Please tell me you have birth control in this realm,” I groaned.
“Nova can set you up,” Bishop said, standing and gesturing to the door. “Her main office and clinic are in the north wing.”
“I think she’s still at the hospital helping with the injured from the grimalkin attack,” Whil said absentmindedly, pulling a book from her shelf.
“I’ll come back to learn about this spell and help you look for that map.” He turned his warm brown gaze to me and my pulse stuttered. “Remember,” he said his voice soft and low. “You don’t have to be afraid and you don’t have to deal with this alone.”
Except if I didn’t want to break down and jump him or Cyrus, being alone would probably be best.