Page 37 of Duty and Desire

Chapter Thirty-Three

Nick

I missed the days of riding my motorbike around the island, sitting on a beach, taking the boat out… It all seemed so long ago. Having Gio around brought back a little of those joyous days, but I knew he couldn’t stay forever. He had his home in San Francisco, his writing…

Not that he’d written much since his arrival, to my knowledge. He certainly didn’t discuss it, and that only deepened my sense of guilt.

He called me his muse, and then what did I do? I left him.

For all I knew, he hadn’t written a word since.

Maybe I killed his inspiration .

My stomach churned at the thought.

I recalled our first days together, when I’d shown him the sights, a job I was used to. But with hindsight, I’d gone out of my way to ensure Gio enjoyed his experiences.

Had I known even then how special he was ?

“Nick!”

I jerked my head up. Claudia stood in front of my desk, her hands on her hips, her eyes sparkling. “I’ve called your name three times.”

“I’m sorry. My mind was elsewhere.” I smiled. “Don’t let Daniela hear you calling me that. You’ll get a lecture on royal protocol.”

“She’d better not, because I’ll tell her where she can shove her protocol. Without the aid of lube.”

I smothered my gasp with my hand, doing my best not to laugh.

Claudia tilted her head to one side. “Were you thinking about a certain dishy writer?”

“Was I that obvious?” Gio was never far from my thoughts.

Unfortunately, neither was Karoline. She would be returning to the palace within five days. It was mean-spirited of me to even think it, but I was dreading it. During the past few days I’d felt able to relax without constantly worrying about keeping her away from Gio.

The ball loomed, however, and they’d have to meet there.

I frowned. “Where is Gio, by the way?”

“Grabbing his jacket. I said I’d take him into the city. It’s market day. I thought he’d like it, seeing as all he’s seen of the city so far is the view from the taxi, and the inside of the palace walls.”

I recalled the idea I’d had the day he arrived. My heart pounded.

“You don’t really want to spend hours walking around the market, do you?” I asked in as persuasive a tone as I could manage.

Claudia narrowed her eyes. “What alternative are you cooking up? Because you are cooking up something. I know you.”

“ I’ll take him.” My breathing quickened.

She blinked. “You? Go down into the city? Why would—” Then she stopped, her eyes widening. “Ooh. I get it.” She smiled. “He’s all yours. Will you be taking Franz too?”

I chuckled. “The idea is to be incognito. I can hardly do that with Franz attached to me.” I grinned. “I’m sure you can come up with some other activity for the two of you.”

Her eyes gleamed. “I’m sure I can too.” Then she hurried to the door. “Gio will be by the main door in five minutes, so you’d better move your Royal ass, Your Majesty.”

She was gone before I could threaten her with a night in the dungeon.

Five minutes later, I was ready. It took Gio a second or two to realize who was hidden beneath the hooded jacket, the dark discs of glass obscuring any glimpse of my eyes. I felt the sneakers were a nice touch.

He gaped at me. “And where are you going in that getup?”

“With you.” The words came out with a breathlessness I didn’t recognize.

Gio’s jaw hit the stone floor. “You can’t. Someone will see you.”

“So what?” I moved nearer to him, until he was tantalizingly close.

“My mother used to do this. She loved visiting the markets in disguise—huge hats, wigs, sunglasses….” I chuckled.

“What made it all the funnier was that everyone knew exactly who she was. They didn’t bother her, though.

I think they loved her all the more for it.

I went with her most of the time. She had so much fun being among the people.

She told me she felt as though she was one of them.

” I gave him a beseeching glance. “Say yes, Gio. Do it for me.”

For a second I wasn’t sure how he’d react. Then a warm smile set his face aglow.

“Okay. Let’s do it.”

I knew my reasons for accompanying him weren’t solely because of my memories: the prospect of having him to myself for a few hours made my heart dance.

We were on our way out the door when a loud whistle stopped me.

Franz threw something at me. I caught the bunch of keys and stared at him.

He chuckled. “Wreck my car, and I don’t care if you are the king—there will be consequences.”

I grinned. “I’ll look after it. We won’t go much above one hundred seventy kilometers per hour, I promise. ”

The sound of him choking followed us from the palace.

Gio regarded me, his brow furrowed slightly. “You can drive, right?”

I rolled my eyes and switched on the engine. “It can’t be harder to drive than a buggy, can it?” I teased.

His cry of Niiiiiick ! as we headed for the gates made me laugh so hard, I ached.

I felt sure the guards would take some convincing, and that they might even refuse to let me leave the palace unaccompanied, but they let us go with little resistance. Franz’s handiwork, I had no doubt. He’d either bribed them or threatened them.

Once we arrived at the marketplace and found a spot for the car, I led Gio through the narrow winding streets until we reached the bustling heart of the city.

We went from stall to stall, inhaling the sweet fragrance of fruit, the soft perfume of flowers.

Fabrics of all colors tugged us in their direction, and we spent several long minutes choosing a piece for Claudia, for a dress.

The stall owners and shoppers smiled at us as we strolled, and I was sure it was nothing but friendliness.

Until an older vendor stopped us, and laid his wrinkled hand on mine.

“My condolences, Your Majesty,” he murmured. “I am so sorry for your loss.”

My chest tightened. “Thank you,” I croaked.

Beside me, Gio snickered. “So much for the disguise.”

Then an elderly woman approached us, carrying a bunch of flowers. “It is so good to see you here again, Your Majesty. I remember when you came here with your mother, God rest her soul. I always used to give her flowers.”

I stared at her, my eyes wide. “I remember you. You used to have a little dog behind your stall. I’d feed him bits of cake, until my mother said I shouldn’t, because if everyone did that, he’d eventually burst.”

Her eyes shone. “Bless you, Your Majesty. Yes, I did. We lost him last year, but now we have another. He’s too young to bring here. When he’s older, perhaps.”

“Do you have a photo of him?”

She beamed. “Yes, Your Majesty.” She pulled her phone from her pocket and scrolled before handing it to me.

I peered at the image of a puppy rolling on the floor, having his tummy rubbed.

I chuckled. “He’s adorable.” I thanked her for the flowers, and we continued on our stroll.

As we walked, more and more people stopped to greet me, offering their sympathies and more often than not, pressing something into my hand and mentioning my mother.

By the time we headed back to the car, our arms were full?—

And Gio had gone very quiet.

As I deposited the gifts of chocolate, cake, and little trinkets into the trunk, I gazed inquiringly at him.

“To quote you, where did you go?”

“Watching you this afternoon, I was struck by how deeply you care for your people—and they for you.” Gio smiled. “You have a connection to them that’s beautiful to see. You’ll never be some distant monarch up in his palace on top of a hill.”

They were perhaps the sweetest words I’d ever heard.

Gio

Dinner was over, but I wasn’t ready to call it a night. When I said as much, it soon dawned on me that Claudia had plans of her own.

“There is somewhere else I could show you,” Nick proffered. “But it isn’t a place I’m familiar with.” He stilled. “However, I know someone who is.”

I laughed. “Will you stop speaking in riddles and just tell me?”

Nick grinned. “How would you like to visit the spookiest place in the palace? ”

I gave a mock gasp. “You’re going to throw me into the dungeons. Is this where I tell you that’s not my kinda thing?”

He laughed. “I’m not even sure the dungeons exist anymore. But there is the Royal Vault.”

I frowned. “What’s in there?”

His eyes glittered. “Centuries of royal heirlooms.”

I grinned. “Medieval instruments of torture?”

“I think they’re more along the lines of suits of armor, statues, weapons, maybe jewelry. Relics of former monarchs.” He peered at me. “Do you want to see it?”

I wiped my lips with my napkin. “Count me in. Who were you thinking of to show us around?”

“Maybe Heinrich. He used to be the head of the royal stables—when there were stables—but now he helps out around the place. He knows everything.”

It turned out Heinrich was also a writer, but of non-fiction. He was in the middle of cataloging the collection of heirlooms for a book about the kings of Eisenland, and he seemed delighted to share his knowledge.

“Your Majesty, I know your late father gave me permission to write my book, but?—”

Nick held up his hand. “Heinrich, I’m not going to stop you. And I can’t wait to read it.” He smiled. “I might even learn something.”

We spent two hours examining paintings, weapons, clothing, and items gathered from far-off countries. Along one wall stood painting after painting, and I carefully moved each one, gazing at mostly landscapes and portraits, with Heinrich providing a running commentary on each one.

“Why aren’t these in the gallery upstairs?” I asked. I pointed to a portrait of a solemn-faced man. “This guy, for instance. He has the look of the family about him.”

Heinrich muttered something I didn’t catch.

Nick crouched to peer more closely. “There’s a plaque on the frame.” He frowned. “It says King Georg, 1825-1847 . If he’s one of my ancestors, why isn’t he with all the others?”

“His portrait did hang in the royal gallery once. But it was….” Heinrich coughed. “Removed.”

Nick jerked his head in my direction. “The space we saw.”

I nodded. “Do you know why his portrait was taken down?” I asked Heinrich.

“I’m sure I have no idea.” His flushed face told a different story.

I glanced at Nick, who rose to his feet. “Heinrich, you can tell me.”

“It was only a rumor,” Heinrich protested. “And it was so long ago, no one really knows the truth.”

“But if there was a rumor, then something had to have been circulating,” I argued.

The older man sighed. “It was said he was in love, but as to who with, that was kept secret.”

I put my writer’s hat on. “That leaves us with a few options. Either he was in love with a married woman, or maybe someone from an opposing family…” I froze. “There is a third option—King Georg was in love with a man.”

Judging by the way Heinrich almost leaped out of his skin, his gaze locked on me, I had a feeling I’d nailed it.

“I could do with a drink,” Nick murmured.

That made two of us.

We thanked Heinrich and climbed the stone steps leading away from the vault. Nick was deathly quiet, and all I wanted to do was hold him, cradle him in my arms, kiss him, and tell him everything would be all right.

Even if I wasn’t sure that was the truth.

“The history of my own family is against me,” Nick muttered. “So what if I’m not the only gay man in my family tree? What difference does it make if all I can do is repeat the past?”

I stopped at the top of the staircase.

“Who says you have to do that? What if you’re the one to break the cycle?

” I knew I shouldn’t, but I couldn’t help myself.

I took Nick’s hands in mine and looked at him, not bothering to extinguish the urgency that overwhelmed me.

“Hasn’t it sunk in yet? You have the power to shape a very different legacy—if you’re willing to take the risk.

” I smiled. “You don’t need to pretend to be someone you’re not.

You could be Eisenland’s first openly gay king. ”

He gaped at me. “You really believe that, don’t you?”

I cupped his cheek. “Yes, because I believe in you .”

Now all you have to do is believe in yourself.