Page 22 of Duty and Desire

Chapter Twenty

Nick

W e were on the couch, spending our Sunday reading. I lay on my back, my head in his lap, both of us content to enjoy the silence. Every now and then, he’d bend down to kiss me before diving back into his book.

Life doesn’t get any better than this.

I worked, but my jobs weren’t the focus anymore. Gio was the hub of my existence. We shared food, conversation, exploration of the island…

And of course our bodies.

We still had avenues left to explore on that point, but I was more than happy with the status quo: Gio’s talented mouth was enough for me, and I was in no hurry.

Some things were worth waiting for. The box of condoms sat in a drawer in the bedroom, but I knew we’d get around to using them one day .

A long line of days stretched out into the distance, each one filled with the promise of Gio.

His hand found mine, our fingers playing lazily with each other as if we had all the time in the world.

“I like this,” Gio admitted, his voice barely above a whisper, as if he were confessing something fragile.

I tightened his grip, pressing my thumb against Gio’s palm in slow circles. “Me too.” The silence that followed was comforting.

My phone buzzed, and for a moment I was tempted to ignore it.

No one got to intrude on this precious time.

When it buzzed again, I relented and peered at the screen. I smiled. “Claudia says hi.”

“And what else does Claudia say?”

“She’s checking in on me, making sure I’m okay.” Her exact words were Do I take it this radio silence means you’re busy doing wicked, wicked things? I’m jealous.

He put his book on the arm of the couch. “Do I get to see where you live?”

I closed my book. “That was random.” I gazed up at him.

“If you want. I’m hardly there these days.

It isn’t a home—it’s a space to store clothing, possessions, a place to sleep…

” I smiled. “Except now I sleep here.” I managed a shrug.

“I could take you there, but it wouldn’t show you anything about me that you don’t already know. ”

His teasing smile made me tingle with the need to touch him, made me ache to be touched. “So does that mean I know everything?”

I could hear Franz’s voice in my head.

“If you don’t tell Gio the truth—and I understand why that might not be top of your list right now—then how will he get the chance to know the real you?

I’d said I’d tell him, but I wasn’t ready to put a date on that declaration.

You gave him your mother’s family name. Don’t forget that.

“We all have our secrets, right? A little mystery is no bad thing.”

Gio caressed my cheek. “There’s one mystery I’d like to solve. ”

My heart lurched. “Oh?”

He moved his hand lower, until it was on my chest, his fingers searching under the neckline of my tee. “You told me once you hadn’t had a lot of experience with men. How much experience are we talking about?”

He slid his hand beneath the fabric, and I caught my breath when his fingers found taut flesh. I shivered. “That… that turns me on.”

“Good to know.” His eyes gleamed. “I also know you have an oral fixation, shall we say, but what else do you like?”

I blurted it out in a heartbeat. “Fingers.” My experience was limited, but enough that I’d known from the first I could easily become addicted.

His slow exhale told me I wasn’t the only one.

“Then why don’t we take this to the bedroom and… explore our options?”

A moment later, we lay on the bed in nothing but our underwear, and I lost myself in his kisses.

We fell into an easy rhythm of small touches and unhurried movements, exploring each other as though we had all the time in the world.

The tiniest things fascinated me: the way Gio held his breath when I brushed my knuckles over his ribs; the way he leaned into my touch; how his skin warmed as I worshipped it; and the way his shoulders relaxed when I traced every line of him with my fingertips.

“Tell me something no one else knows about you,” he murmured.

That gave me pause. “Most of my life, I’ve been living on autopilot, going through the motions. I fooled everyone. They saw my emotions and believed them to be real. And although I was surrounded by people, I felt so alone.”

“And now?”

I pushed the hair back from Gio’s forehead. “I’m feeling , for the first time. And that’s because of you.”

Something flickered across Gio’s face, and he kissed my brow. “You’re not alone.”

The air grew dense, as if a storm was approaching.

Our slow, measured breaths became uneven, and warmth flushed through me.

Our mouths met, and I moaned into Gio’s deep kiss when he trailed his fingers down my torso.

His lips teased my earlobes, my nipples, before he kissed me again, his teeth playfully dragging at my lower lip.

“Please,” I begged. “I want you.”

A whisper of cotton later, I lay exposed to his view, and I spread for him, a silent demand. Warmth became heat when he slid two fingers into my mouth, and I shivered when he removed them.

I shuddered when they found their way home.

I couldn’t stay still, tossed between boneless bliss and erotic tension, and Gio played me like an instrument, coaxing low cries of pleasure from my lips. I arched my back, his body pressed to my side, the relentless motion of his talented fingers sending me hurtling toward oblivion.

Only to have him back off, leaving me desperate, calling his name, begging him to finish this, finish me .

And when he did, electricity spiked through me and I trembled at his touch, every trace of his fingertips over my skin sending a multitude of shivers crashing into me, the heightened sensitivity more than I could bear.

Gio’s breath stirred the hairs on my neck. “You have no idea how amazing you look when you become unraveled,” he whispered. “I could spend all day doing this.” He kissed my damp brow.

I gazed into his eyes. “And you’d end up getting nothing else done,” I said with a smile. “Not to mention the fact that you might kill me in the process.”

He chuckled. “But what a way to go.”

I tugged him to me, welcoming his weight as he pinned me to the mattress, aware of heat and hardness. He rocked, a sensual undulation leaving me in no doubt where he wanted to be.

I wanted him there too, but I could wait.

I wasn’t sure why I hesitated to take this step.

Maybe it was my father’s expectation that I’d marry and produce children.

Taking that step—giving myself completely to Gio, and him to me—would break the chain that bound me to duty, and as much as I wanted to break it, I couldn’t bring myself to do it.

Or was it that I still clung to the na?ve notion that such an act should only be shared with the man I loved?

It isn’t na?ve if it’s how I feel.

That was reason enough to tell me the time would come when I wouldn’t hold back.

Because I was already falling in love with Gio.