Page 17 of Duty and Desire

Chapter Fifteen

Nick

I stood in the doorway to the bedroom, watching as Claudia packed. “I’m sorry your stay ended like this.” That acknowledgment of the situation was as close as I intended to venture. Talking about Gio only served to churn up my insides.

She paused in her task, straightened, and looked me in the eye. “Do you want my advice?”

I huffed. “If I say no, you’ll give it anyway, so why bother asking?” I sighed heavily. “Sure. Give me some advice. I’m just not promising to follow it.”

I was still angry, still hurting.

I was also missing Gio so much, my chest felt as if there was a spear lodged there permanently, and it hadn’t even been forty-eight hours since I’d walked out of his life.

“You need to do something.” Her face contorted. “You can’t go on like this.”

“And what do you suggest I do to rectify this mess? ”

She didn’t break eye contact. “Go talk to Gio.”

I froze. “Are you serious? After what he did?”

She rolled her eyes. “And what exactly was that? Has he written a piece about you and sent it to the media? No, he hasn’t. In fact, all he’s done is write down what you told him about yourself—and you don’t know why.”

“It’s obvious, isn’t it? He’s going to write a book about me.”

“And you know that for a fact?” Her eyes blazed. “No, you don’t. And the only way you’re going to stop hurting is if you confront him and learn the truth. Which is what you should have done Friday night, instead of running away.”

“You know why I ran,” I remonstrated. “You more than anyone.”

She expelled a breath. “Yes, of course I do. But I still maintain you saw nothing that showed you he knew your identity.” She walked around the bed and placed her hands on my upper arms. Claudia gave a sad smile.

“And the only way you’re going to get past this mess is to go see him, talk to him.

” She kissed me on the cheek. “Can I tell you something?”

I smirked. “Can I stop you?”

She cupped my face in her hands. “I’m praying you sort this all out, because I have never seen you as happy as you were when you were spending your days with Gio.” She stared at me. “Am I wrong?”

I didn’t answer right away. In my head was Gio’s face, his smile, the light in his eyes…

That kiss.

The kiss that made me want so much more.

“No, you’re not wrong. But what if I do see him, and I learn everything that happened was part of some big scheme to?—”

She stopped my words with a finger. “Then at least you’ll know the truth.

And while that will hurt, it’s better than sitting in here, avoiding all sight of Gio, imagining the worst.” Her eyes held the suspicion of a twinkle.

“What are you going to do, stay in here forever, and let Franz go do all your jobs? Not that you need them. You don’t need the money—they’re your way of staying occupied.

Which is how I know you’ll go nuts if you let this continue. ”

I threw my arms around her. “Thank you,” I whispered.

“For what?” She held me, her delicate floral perfume a comforting, familiar scent.

“Being my best friend.”

She drew back, smiling. “I’ll always have your back. So now I’m going to do you a favor. Franz will take me to the airport— you have more important things to occupy your time.”

I chuckled. “While the cat’s away?”

She grinned. “The mice get a little space. Use the time wisely. And let me know how it works out?”

I promised her I would. Then a thought struck me. “I appreciate you giving me an opportunity to visit Gio without Franz hovering around, but I’m not entirely convinced of your motives.”

Her face flushed, and I knew I’d hit my target.

I folded my arms. “Is the feeling mutual?”

She cleared her throat. “Maybe?”

“Does Franz know what he’s letting himself in for?”

Claudia snorted. “After all the time he’s spent around me? I hope so.” She enveloped me in a tight hug. “I also hope this works out for you. Because you need this.”

I couldn’t argue with that. She’d nailed it.

“Have I told you how much I appreciate your visits? Especially when it takes you three flights to get back home.” My throat tightened. “Because it is your home now, isn’t it?”

She huffed. “I’m happier there, that’s for sure.

My family have gotten used to me visiting them three or four times a year, and I don’t see the need to increase on that, not in the circumstances.

” She hugged me. “You’re happy here. Maybe not at the moment, but this too shall pass, and you’ll remember why you came here.

” Claudia pushed my hair back from my face, and smiled.

“And despite what I said, I do like this look on you.”

“Good, because I’m not about to change it. ”

It was as far removed from my previous life as it was possible to get.

As soon as I’d waved Claudia out of sight, I went back inside, grabbed the keys to my motorbike, checked my reflection, then headed out the door, my heart pounding.

Claudia’s right. I have to know.

I ignored the logical voice that said it was too late to be calling on Gio.

I sped along the quiet road, going over and over in my head what I’d say to him. The landscape rushed by, and with each passing minute, my intended speech grew more convoluted. Then it hit me. I’d got this all wrong.

Gio was the one who’d be doing most of the talking.

I pulled up beside the pink buggy, switched off the engine, and let the bike’s weight rest on its kick stand.

I walked slowly across the planked bridge, aware of the empty feeling in the pit of my stomach, my dry mouth, my faster than usual heartbeat.

When I reached the gate, I paused, my hand on the catch.

No noise greeted me. I glanced at the jetty, and blinked when I saw what was tied to it.

He has a boat? How long has he had that? I hadn’t even noticed it on Friday night. Then again, my mind had been occupied by thoughts of where the night could lead, and once I’d left, I wouldn’t have paid any attention to a boat, not unless it managed to rear up onto the bridge and mow me down.

My stomach roiled. The day we’d met. The trip around the island. Had it been nothing more than a ruse? A way to get to know me?

Oh God . This wasn’t good. Maybe I should forget about this. I should go home and ? —

“Nick?”

Gio stood at the rear of the bungalow, his mouth open, his eyes huge.

Too late to back out now.

I cleared my throat. “We need to talk.”

“I… I didn’t think I’d ever see you again.” He walked toward me with faltering steps. I waited for him to open the gate. “Please, come in.”

I stepped through it, and followed him to the rear veranda. I expected to see his laptop and notebook on the table, but there was only a tea pot and a cup.

“I made lemon and ginger tea. It settles my stomach. Would you like a cup?”

I nodded, and he went inside. I pulled out a chair and sat, taking deep breaths in the hope of calming my racing heart. When he returned, I froze at the sight of the notebook in his other hand.

Gio placed the cup in front of me, but didn’t sit. Instead, he leaned against the wooden raining, his back to the lagoon. He held the notebook, rolling and unrolling it.

“You read what was in here, didn’t you?”

I didn’t trust myself to speak, hoping he took my silence as an acknowledgment.

Gio shuddered out a breath. “I can see why it might have been a shock.” I raised my eyebrows, and he let out a sigh.

“Understatement of the year, right? So let me explain.” He put down the notebook and poured me some tea.

“I came here because it’s been six months since I wrote a damn word.

Roger hoped I’d find some inspiration. And I did, when a guy came to the bar where I’d gone for a drink.

He was delivering a package that had gone someplace else by mistake. ”

Wait a minute…

I stared at him. “Te Moana Nui? You were there that day?”

He nodded. “Aulani suggested I might like the place. I did. I also liked the bartender. That day, I hardly noticed you. And then Kai came up with a suggestion of his own. If I wanted a main character for my book, I should think about you, because, as he put it, ‘there’s more to him than meets the eye’.

He said there had to be a story. He also piqued my interest when he said you could be on the island because you were running from something. ”

“Kai said that?” Then I reasoned Gio wouldn’t lie about something like that, not when all I had to do was ask Kai himself.

He nodded. “And then it felt as though everywhere I went, I saw you. On the beach, driving a boat, shopping, at a bar… And something about you aroused my curiosity.” Gio took a breath.

“Your expression. It had this… lost quality to it, and it reminded me of myself.” His face contorted. “Because I was lost too.”

His words rendered me spellbound.

“I came back here, and for the first time in a long while, I wanted to write. You’d given me so many ideas, and I had to commit them to paper before the moment passed.” Gio waved the notebook. “Did you read the first pages?”

“Not in any depth. Seeing my name shocked me.”

“Yeah, I can understand that. I shouldn’t have used your real name—and if I’d created a character, he wouldn’t have been called Nick—but I was so excited to have ideas after going through a writing desert.

I had you as a traveler with a broken heart, an artist seeking inspiration, a witness to a crime being tracked down by the bad guys, the survivor of a shipwreck, someone escaping from a cult, a scientist… ”

I couldn’t help but smile. “You came up with all that—before we’d even spoken?”

He nodded. “And when we finally did, you intrigued me even more, although I felt bad about the trip around the island. I saw you sitting there, reading from your Kindle, and I couldn’t pass up on the opportunity to talk to you. The jaunt around the island was the perfect excuse.”

I pointed to the boat tied to the jetty. “Where was that at the time?”

“Moored at the ferry point.” He coughed. “With all my groceries in it. I didn’t even think about them until we’d gone out into the lagoon.”

“And what about the hike? Was that research for your book too?”

“Initially yes, but there was another reason.” Gio met my gaze. “I’d met you, and I wanted to know more about you, because…”

“Because?” I prompted.

He didn’t respond right away, and I waited, my skin prickling.

“I wanted to know what it was about you that drew me in. Why I wanted to let you in, when I hadn’t done that in years. And that hike we did? You’re right. I’d wanted to be inspired, but the more time I spent around you, the more I wanted it to continue.”

And I wanted to believe him.

“What about your notes? Me coming here to escape my repressive family?”

A heavy sigh rolled out of him. “That was wrong of me. But you need to understand. None of it would have ended up in a book.”

“Then why write it down?”

“Because I was trying to get back into the habit of writing again!” The words rang out, laced with an undercurrent of pain. “For the first time in ages, I wanted to write. It was like flexing a muscle that had been dormant for far too long.” He pointed to my cup. “Drink that before it gets cold.”

I picked it up without thinking and drank.

“You need to understand something. For as long as I can remember, I’ve loved writing.

Getting up early to start work, crafting a story, honing it…

That was everything to me—until it stopped.

And although I tried to rekindle that flame, I couldn’t.

So when the ideas finally started flowing again, even though they amounted to nothing more than a trickle, it felt so, so good.

For the first time in several months, I had hope.

” His Adam’s apple bobbed. “And when I realized you’d read my notes, when you left…

Everything I’d been feeling, the positivity, the hope, the excitement…

I lost it all. I didn’t want to write another word.

” Another sharp bob as he swallowed once more.

“But worse than any of that was the thought that I’d lost you. ”

Oh God.

Gio walked toward me. “I know I’m only here for a short while, one of hundreds of people you must meet all the time, but…

I can’t escape the feeling we could have something here.

There’s a connection, and Friday night I thought we’d severed it.

So I guess what I’m asking is… Do you feel we have a connection? ”

I pushed my chair back and stood, my head spinning. I’d come there convinced Gio was a threat, but now?

“If you think you can’t get past this, I’ll understand.” The tremor in his voice undid me. “But you need to know. I never meant to hurt you.” His voice wavered again, his expression pained. “If only I?—”

I moved before he could finish, gripping the soft cotton of his tee, tugging him to me. We collided, both of us breathing erratically, and then I claimed his mouth.

The kiss was fierce, almost brutal. I crushed my lips against his.

Gio’s hand met my jaw, holding me there, and I poured every ounce of longing into that kiss.

I wanted it to erase the hurt, the anger, everything that could break us again.

I let go of his tee and dug my fingers into his shoulders, anchoring myself, clinging to him, because in that moment, Gio was the only thing that mattered.

I lost myself in that kiss, in the heat and the ache of it, hoping it had the power to heal, to say what words could not.

Then Gio broke the spell, his forehead touching mine, his breathing still ragged. “Thank you,” he whispered.

My heartbeat raced. Warmth flooded me, and I couldn’t get close enough.

I wanted to hear him talk more, to lose myself in his words.

Except I knew words wouldn’t be enough to feed the hunger burning through me.

I ached to explore him with my fingers, my lips, my tongue, to discover every inch of him, to learn the feel of his skin, the taste and smell of him.

“Let’s go inside.” My voice sounded as raw as his.

Gio gazed into my eyes. “If you’re sure that’s what you want?”

I smiled. “I’m sure.”

That kiss was just the beginning.