Page 19 of Duty and Desire

Chapter Seventeen

Gio

I opened my eyes, blinking in the light that poured through the patio door.

Something’s different.

It felt later than my usual rising time, but that wasn’t it.

A warm solid body pressed against my back. An arm was draped across mine. A leg was hooked over my thigh. And slow, even breaths stirred the hairs on the back of my neck.

An effusion of warmth spread through me, and a layer of calm and contentment settled on me, as soft as a whisper.

Nick stayed.

I didn’t dare move in case this was a fantasy, and I’d dreamed of Nick coming to see me, dreamed of kissing him. Then heat bloomed in my chest when I recalled how we’d ended up in my bed.

Nick’s kisses, his fingers, his mouth… He’d undone me, drowned me in a sea of bliss.

And I couldn’t wait to dive back in .

“Morning.” Aulani’s cheerful greeting shattered the quiet.

Shit .

Behind me, Nick stirred. “Who’s that?” he murmured, his voice heavy with sleep.

“We have company,” I whispered, my heart lurching into overdrive.

“Tell them to go away. No room in the bed.” His fingers dug into my arm. “Wait—what? Who?”

I threw back the sheets and dove out of bed, grabbing my shorts from the floor where I’d left them. I hauled them up and over my hips, fumbling as I tried to fasten them.

Nick sat up, his eyes huge. “Who’s out there?” Then he grinned. “And why are you in such a panic?” He swung his legs over the side of the bed, and I was momentarily distracted by the sight of him. He followed my gaze and snickered. “You think you can wait until we’re alone?”

“Gio? Are you in here?” The doorknob turned a little.

I picked up my tee and tossed it into Nick’s lap, just as Aulani stuck her head around the door. She blinked when she saw him, then coughed, her face reddening.

“I’ll just wait out here.” She retreated, closing the door.

Nick glanced at the tee. “Nice aim, by the way.” He smirked. “Except I think this looks so dirty.”

“That’s your fault,” I remonstrated.

He arched his eyebrows. “For waking up with morning wood? Not exactly something I have much control over.” His eyes twinkled. “And if it’s anyone’s fault, it’s yours.”

I rolled my eyes. “Will you put some clothes on?”

Nick gasped. “What—no kiss?”

I swear, I was going to kill him.

In the kitchen, Aulani was humming louder than usual, and I couldn’t decide which of us was probably the more embarrassed.

I went over to where Nick sat, bent down, and pressed my lips to his forehead. “Good morning. I’m glad you stayed. And I’ll kiss you properly after I’ve brushed my teeth. Now, will you please get dressed so we can go out there and get interrogated?”

Nick looped his arms around my neck, then fell back onto the bed, taking me with him. “Only if you promise we can come back here when she’s gone.”

He lay there, pinned beneath my weight, his black hair stark against the white sheet, his mouth soft and inviting, his body hard in all the right places.

“I promise.” And because I couldn’t resist him a moment longer, I buried my face in his neck and kissed him there, unable to rein in the slow grind that elicited a low moan. “And then it’s my turn.”

Nick’s breath caught in his throat. “I’ll hold you to that.”

I could spend all day doing nothing but holding him.

A short time later we emerged from the bedroom, clothed, hair neat, both of us wearing sheepish grins as if we were little kids caught with our hands in the cookie jar.

Nick’s jar was a thing of beauty.

Aulani pointed to the coffee pot. “I made some, seeing as you hadn’t.” She peered at Nick, then me. “So you fixed it?”

I smiled. “Yeah. Everything’s okay now.”

She flushed. “That much I could see for myself.” She flashed Nick a smile. “Good to see you again. Of course, I didn’t expect to see so much of you.”

I fired her a mock glare. “Okay, you’ve made your point.” I poured two cups and handed one to Nick. “Let’s go out onto the veranda so we’re not in Aulani’s way.”

He followed me through the patio doors, and we sat side by side at the table, our backs to the bungalow. Nick’s shoulders shook, and he stared into his coffee, avoiding my gaze.

“You think this is funny?” I demanded.

He turned to face me and snorted. “Don’t you?”

I stared at his eyes sparkling with humor, his bright smile, and I had to laugh. “Yeah, I do.” I leaned back, my hands wrapped around my cup. “So where do we go from here?” I wanted to hear him say this was just the beginning, that there would be more days spent together…

More nights too.

“For today, you’re going to make me breakfast because I’m starving. And once Aulani has gone, I think you know exactly where we’re going.” Nick’s steady focus on my face filled me with warmth. “But if you were speaking figuratively, then we go on as before. I do my jobs, you write…”

There was a flutter in my stomach, and my breath seemed to bottle up in my chest. “And?”

Don’t tell me that’s it. Tell me there’s more.

He stared at me, chin held high. “And between all the day-to-day minutiae, we spend as much time together as we want.”

I wanted to kiss him and never come up for air.

I managed a chuckle. “I don’t know about that. I might want a lot of your time.”

“Then you’ll have it.” His phone buzzed into life, and he peered at the screen. “Ah. I wondered how long it would take him.”

“Franz?” I ventured.

He nodded. “Who is concerned that I didn’t come home last night.” A sigh rolled out of him. “Can we put our morning plans on hold? I need to see him. This is important.”

“Not to explain yourself, surely.” Nick didn’t need to offer up any kind of explanation to anyone.

He chuckled. “Oh no. I have a very different kind of conversation in mind. If Franz is going to continue to be in my life, then we need to establish some ground rules.” He traced the line of my cheek with his finger. “Because everything has changed.”

I smiled. “And you changed it, by coming here last night.”

Nick tilted his head to one side. “You said you wanted to get your writing brain working again. So I’ll set you a challenge. While I’m away, why don’t you write about last night? Write about us.” His face glowed. “I’d love to read that. ”

“It’s not the kind of thing I generally put in my books,” I admitted.

He smiled. “Then it’s an even bigger challenge. And tonight we’ll read it together—and see where it takes us.” He rose, then bent to kiss the top of my head. “Later.” He smirked, then pointed to the side veranda. “I’ll go out this way.”

“Yeah, it’s safer.” I watched him until he reached the other side of the bridge, and then I watched until he was out of sight.

“He’s gone?” Aulani poked her head around the door. “He didn’t say goodbye.”

“I’m sure you’ll have more occasions to chat with him.”

“Oh I will, will I? Then I’d better knock in future, instead of walking in here.” She grinned. “Just in case.” She disappeared into the kitchen, and her humming resumed.

I was torn between making breakfast and getting started on Nick’s challenge. The loud rumble from my stomach settled that debate. I looked out over the lagoon to where dark clouds gathered at the horizon.

They didn’t bother me in the slightest.

I had all the sunshine I needed—in my heart.

Nick

I’d been in the house about five minutes before Franz turned up. I let him in, then poured us both a glass of juice.

Before he could launch into whatever speech he’d prepared, I attacked.

“Don’t tell me you were worried. You knew exactly where I was—and who I was with.” His tracking app would have provided that information.

He huffed. “I knew the moment we arrived at the airport. Claudia told me. ”

I couldn’t resist. “Did you give her a hug before she went through Security? A peck on the cheek?”

He flushed. “Fine. So you know.” His voice was gruff. “And I did, as a matter of fact. But I’m not here to talk about her.” He folded his arms. “You falling for this guy?”

“His name is Gio. You might as well get used to calling him that, because you’re going to be seeing a lot of him.”

Franz raised his eyebrows. “Then I guess I have my answer.”

“So what if I am? We’re not hurting anyone. And it’s no one’s business but ours.”

Franz wandered over to the couch and sat. “Look, I know right now you’re seeing the world through a haze of?—”

“Choose your next words carefully.” I narrowed my eyes. “You have no idea what I feel for him, okay? Or how deep those feelings run.” I was only starting to discover that for myself.

“But that’s my point,” he protested. “You won’t be here forever, you know that, right? This is all going to come to an end eventually. You have responsibilities.”

I stuck my chin out. “No, I don’t. Not here. And not there either, if it comes to that. They don’t need me. I’ll let them get on with the ‘family business’,” I air-quoted. “They’re welcome to it.”

He studied me for a moment. “You won’t become like them, if that’s what you’re afraid of. Not in a million years. And do you know why? You’re nothing like them.”

I sat in the armchair. “You know, I think I liked you more when you didn’t speak. Not that you need to. Your presence is a constant reminder that I’m never as free as I think I am.” And I was growing weary of it.

Franz clasped his hands. “I’m here to do one thing—watch out for you. That’s nonnegotiable. And because while you might try to run away from it, you have a duty?—”

He’d just crossed the line.

“Don’t talk to me about duty,” I said through gritted teeth. “I’ve had that all my life. ”

What surprised me was the warmth of his gaze. “Then you should know by now. You can’t run from it.”

“I can give it a damn good try.”

We were at an impasse.

I leaned forward, my elbows resting on my knees.

“My father killed my first chance of happiness. Then he did it again, and again, until I gave up searching for it. And then I came here, only to find the damage had already been done. I’d grown wary of men.

I was always aware of you in the background, running your checks.

Yes, I know you were only doing your job, but I also know you scared off anyone who got close.

In three years, how many men have I… connected with, for want of a better word? ”

Franz flushed. “I think I’ve dated more than you have, and that’s saying a lot.”

I nodded. “Which brings us to Gio. I was right to trust him, I know that now. So you don’t need to worry, okay? I’m safe with him.”

“Does he know who you are?”

I shook my head. “And I’m not about to tell him.

” I had several reasons for keeping that particular secret, and each one carried its own emotional toll.

“So I’m asking you to do one thing—Let me be.

Let me live my life my way.” I locked gazes with him.

“Let me be happy. Because we both know I deserve that.”

Franz’s teeth sank into his lower lip as he studied me in silence. I waited. There was nothing else I could say.

Finally, he nodded. “You’ve spent years living under pressure. The least I can do is let you lead a normal life.” He smiled. “And it seems that life includes Gio—for the moment.”

Those last three words served to underline the reality of the situation.

This is temporary.

Gio would leave in a few months, I knew that. He had his own life in San Francisco. There was nothing to say he couldn’t return to the island in the future, but it wouldn’t be the same. That would only amount to snatches of happiness, and it was dawning on me that I wanted more than brief glimpses.

I wanted a life filled with love. With someone I chose.

“But there’s something I have to say, something I’m pretty sure you don’t want to hear.”

I stared at him. “Then get it over with.”

Franz twisted his hands. “If you don’t tell Gio the truth—and I understand why that might not be top of your list right now—then how will he get the chance to know the real you?

” He looked me in the eye. “And after the mess you went through these last few days, when you thought you couldn’t trust him, just think about this: how will he react if one day this all comes out, and he realizes you’ve been living a lie? ”

“No one on this island knows the truth,” I retorted. “You expect me to tell everyone?”

“You’re not sleeping with everyone , though, are you?” he fired back, his eyes blazing. “I get it. You’re scared to tell him. And I’m not saying he has to know right this minute. But at least concede that you might have to tell him at some point.”

I took a moment to view my situation as objectively as I could. My secret kept me at arm’s length emotionally, unable to open up about my life. And when it came to Gio, that secret created a dilemma.

What’s more important? My personal happiness—or protecting Gio from a truth that could change everything?

That voice in my head piped up.

Protecting Gio—or yourself?

In the silence that fell, I had to admit Franz was right, however.

I took a deep breath. “I’ll tell him. Soon. Just… let me enjoy this for a short while?”

Franz’s smile held a trace of sadness. “It’s your life, Nick.”

I didn’t need to hear the words he held back.

I did my best. Don’t blame me if you mess it up.