Page 35 of Duty and Desire

Chapter Thirty-Two

Gio

T he portrait gallery was a long hallway filled with paintings and busts, all of past monarchs and members of the royal family. Nick seemed to know who everyone was.

I imagined he’d had it drummed into him all his life.

Everything felt so surreal. Was it really just over a week ago that we were living in a tropical paradise, with nothing on the horizon but spending our days and nights together?

And here I was, thousands of miles from that paradise.

being shown around a European palace by its soon-to-be-crowned king.

If I’d written this plot, my publisher would have turned it down as unbelievable.

Except I was now one of its main characters.

I pointed to a space where a painting had clearly once hung. “What happened to this one? Who was here, the black sheep of the family?”

Nick shrugged. “I have no idea. It’s always been empty for as long as I can remember. I asked my father about it once. He said it was of no importance.”

“What you really mean is, he kept it secret.” I smiled. “Ooh. A mystery.”

He laughed. “Does your writer brain ever shut down?”

“Never.”

Nick came to a halt in front of a huge portrait. It showed a stern man dressed in a black cloak trimmed with white fur. A silver crown sat upon his head. His arms rested on his throne, and he didn’t gaze at the artist but off into the distance.

As I stared at the face, it came to me in a rush that I was looking at King Johannes, Nick’s father. The resemblance was obvious.

“He was a strict man, wasn’t he?” I murmured.

“It shows, doesn’t it?”

“Did your brother look like him too?”

Nick pointed to the next portrait, and I had to smile. “Oh. Weren’t you a cute kid?” It was a painting of two boys. Nick’s eyes held a gleeful light the artist had captured perfectly, but Rudolf held himself stiffly.

I could almost hear the king in the background, telling them both not to slouch, to hold their heads high—and Nick ignoring him, going his own way.

And that was the problem, wasn’t it? He wanted to stop you from following your own path.

Nick hadn’t budged from his father’s portrait, staring up at it, frowning.

I rejoined him. “What goes through your mind when you look at him?”

“The same fear that haunts my days. That I’ll never be able to live up to his legacy.”

I huffed. “From what I’ve heard, that might not be such a bad thing.”

Nick let out a sigh. “Karoline told me she was sorry for my loss, but she wasn’t.

It was just words.” He swallowed. “But standing here, I’m feeling that loss for the first time since I learned of his death.

Not because I’ll miss him, but because if it weren’t for his love of skiing, he would still be here, Rudolf would be the next in line, and I would still have my life.

” His eyes glistened. “I know that makes me sound so selfish, but I can’t help the way I feel.

I want him alive, because following in his footsteps?

That will be the death of me. Not literally, but figuratively. ”

Oh Nick.

I yearned to hold him, comfort him, but the risk was too great.

I gazed at the room full of history, tradition, and duty. A world away from everything I knew.

A world I could never fit into.

A cough startled me, and instinctively I took a step away from Nick.

Franz stood in the doorway. “Your Majesty, Miss Risch is looking for you.”

Nick’s face fell. “I’ll be right there, Franz. Thank you.” He looked me in the eye. “This tour isn’t finished, merely postponed.” And with that, he followed Franz from the gallery.

I looked into the face of the late king.

“He told you the truth. He didn’t hide who he was.

And what did you do?” I glared at him. “You trampled all over him. You buried him in duty, obligation, expectation. And even when he was out of your sight, you still managed to ruin his life.” I shivered.

“If there’s any justice in this world, his subjects will love him for who he is, not what you tried to make him into. ”

I hurried out of there, my throat tight, praying I could find my way back to my room without a trail of breadcrumbs to follow.

I wouldn’t have believed it possible, but hearing Nick lay bare his fears made me love him even more.

Nic k

I led Gio across the courtyard toward the small, solitary building with its spire and circular stained-glass window above the door. Below it on the heavy arch sat a stone eagle, its wings unfurled.

“Didn’t Claudia want to be on this tour too?”

I smiled. “I asked. Her answer was, and I quote, ‘Been there, done that, got the T-shirt.’” I shook my head. “She grows more American every time I see her. And right now she’s exactly where she wants to be—on a date with Franz.”

Gio smirked. “But aren’t you afraid terrorists will hurl ropes over the palace walls, abseil down them, and take you hostage if Franz isn’t here to protect you?”

I laughed out loud. “I love your imagination. Kidnapping me would accomplish very little, but if I found myself in danger, I hope you’d save me. After all, you once told me you could be forceful if the situation demanded it.”

He narrowed his gaze. “Do you remember everything I say?”

I smiled. “Every single word.” I came to a halt. “This is what I wanted you to see.”

Gio peered at the Gothic facade. “It looks like a church.”

“It’s more than that. It’s the Palace Chapel, and for two centuries it’s been a tradition for monarchs to marry within those walls.” I walked up to the wide door and pushed it open, standing aside to let Gio enter first.

“It’s so light in here,” he exclaimed.

The white walls reflected the sunlight that spilled into the small space.

The altar was carved from stone, and the pillars supporting the roof were carved too, vines twisting around them from the stone floor to the rafters.

Stained glass windows below the rafters portrayed previous kings and queens, and each monarch seemed to stare at the altar.

I stood in front of it, still hearing my father’s voice. I must have been about ten years old, and yet I recalled everything.

“You must remember, Nikolaus. A king must marry for duty, not love. ”

I stared at him, my mouth open. “But you love my mother, don’t you?”

He smiled, and even at my young age, I knew this to be a rare occurrence.

“If he is fortunate, love grows from duty. I count myself a fortunate man.”

“Where did you just go?” Gio’s hand was warm on my arm.

“I was thinking about something my father once told me in here when I was small.” I repeated his words.

Gio snickered. “I can name two princes who married for love. One of them is now the King of England, and the other is his son, who’ll be king himself one day.” He glanced at me. “And if they could do it, so could you.”

Maybe. In another country.

Gio went over to one of the pillars and traced the stone vine with his finger. “Nick… Do you think Eisenland will ever be ready for a king with a male consort?”

I bowed my head. “My people are bound by tradition, as am I.”

“That isn’t an answer.”

I let out a long sigh. “Supposing I declared there would be such a marriage. That all such marriages would be legal, not only for the king but for all subjects.”

Gio smiled. “That sounds like a good thing to do.”

“Perhaps. What scares me, however, is the thought of being rejected by the very people I am trying to serve.”

I hadn’t expected Gio to take my hand in his, but I welcomed the warmth and comfort his touch brought. We stood there in silence, and for the first time, I dared to hope.

Could things change?

In that moment I wanted to believe they could, and that Gio would fight with me for such a future.

Then it came to me that the next wedding to take place within these walls would probably be mine to Karoline, and all my hopes deserted me .

I had to accept my future, because thinking it could be otherwise would bring me nothing but heartache and disappointment.

“Where will you be crowned?”

“In the Coronation Chamber.”

Gio frowned. “How come you haven’t taken me there?”

My heartbeat raced and my stomach clenched.

“Nick?”

I took a deep breath. “I’ll take you there now.”

We walked out of the chapel into the sunlight, a few feet apart.

If we were on Bora-Bora, he’d hold my hand.

Lord, I missed my life there.

I opened one of the two ornate doors leading into the chamber, and waited as Gio went inside. I heard the hitch in his breathing.

Yes, it’s another beautiful room. But it was also one I avoided.

Gio stared at the ceiling that was reminiscent of the ballroom’s. “This is… this is just fantastic.” His smile lit up his face.

This is why I love him. To watch him stare in awe and wonder, to hear his noises of appreciation, to know he recognized beauty and valued it…

My appreciation of the chamber was marred by fear of what the room represented.

I schooled my features, not wishing to spoil the moment. Gio wandered over to the dais on which sat two thrones, one much grander and more central than the other. It was beautifully carved and covered with a sheen of gold, purple velvet covering the seat and back.

He stood in front of it, so still that I wondered what went through his mind.

Then he turned and gazed at me with warm eyes.

“What’s wrong?”

I swallowed. “I don’t know what you mean.”

He came toward me, and after glancing at the door, he took my hands in his .

“Liar.” His voice was soft. “You wouldn’t have brought me in here if I hadn’t asked. Why? What is it about this room you don’t like?”