Page 10 of Duty and Desire

Chapter Eight

Nick

“ Y ou’d better not be in the bathroom,” I yelled as I closed the front door behind me. I knew Claudia was back from sunning herself: my buggy was in its usual place.

“It’s all yours,” she hollered. “Knock yourself out.”

I shook my head as I undressed, discarding my dirty clothing on the floor.

“You are picking up some bad habits, you know. The Claudia I studied with wouldn’t have been caught dead coming out with that last phrase.

” I hurried into the bathroom and flipped the shower on.

I climbed in and stood under the jets, letting it sluice away the grime of the hike.

“People change,” she retorted from beyond the door.

Not all people, unfortunately. My stomach clenched.

“Okay, why are you in such a rush?”

I reached for the shampoo. “I’m going out. How was your day?”

“I read, I soaked up some rays, had a few long drinks that contained a lot of juice, ate some terrific lobster salad that was so delicious, and batted my eyelashes at one really cute guy,” she replied, raising her voice above the sound of the water.

“How far did that get you?”

“Not very far. I think he sat on your side of the church.”

My vocabulary already contained that phrase. “Sorry.”

“Never mind, I’ll live. Want to tell me where you’re going? I take it I’m not invited.”

A pang of guilt lanced through me. “I’m sorry.”

“You seem to be apologizing a lot tonight.”

“There’s plenty of food in the fridge, and there’s pizza in the freezer.”

“Okay, you just said the magic word. Unless it’s a thin crust with no toppings except tomato and cheese. I find that and you’re a dead man.”

I chuckled as I rinsed my hair. “As soon as you messaged me to say you were coming, I did some shopping. There’s a Tartiflette in there with your name on it.”

“Nick, I love you.”

I snorted. “Don’t let Franz hear you say that. That’ll really confuse him.”

“He didn’t go on the hike with you, did he?”

“No, thank God. But when we reached Vaitape, I spotted him.”

“And will he be accompanying you tonight? Wherever it is you’re going that you’re trying desperately not to tell me.”

I should have known she wouldn’t let it rest. Claudia could be a terrier sometimes.

“Gio asked me to dinner.” I snapped the water off and grabbed a towel. Claudia stuck her head around the door, and I glared. “Okay, I know you’ve seen it all before, but a little privacy would be nice here.” She beat a hasty retreat and I dried myself off.

“Going anywhere nice? Will there be candlelight? Music? Roses?”

I wrapped the towel around my hips and walked into the bedroom. Claudia had laid a couple of shirts on the bed, and was busy choosing between two pairs of pants.

I folded my arms. “You are one fast worker. What are you, my dresser?”

“I want you to look good, that’s all.” She pointed to a white linen shirt. “That will look amazing on you.”

I gave her a hard stare. “You’re pushing.”

Claudia put her hands on her hips. “Okay, now you listen. I can’t remember the last time you went on a date, and?—”

“It’s not a date,” I protested. “It’s just dinner.”

“Sure it is—a dinner date. So tell me, when did you last go out to eat with anyone other than me?”

She had me there, and she knew it.

I sighed and perched on the edge of the bed. “Don’t read too much into this, all right? I had a great day, and when he asked, I couldn’t say no.”

“You like him?”

I rolled my eyes. “I wouldn’t be having dinner with him if I didn’t. And that’s where it’ll probably end. Tonight could be the last time I see him.”

She locked gazes with me. “But you don’t want that to be true—do you?

” When I didn’t answer, she sat beside me.

“You know you can tell me anything, right?” Her voice dropped to a quiet murmur.

“It’s okay if you like him. And I’m glad you’re going on a date.

But I can be happy and worry about you at the same time.

” She tilted her head to one side. “What does your gut tell you about this guy?”

I did a quick assessment, pulling together all the threads that had woven through our hike. “That I can trust him.”

God, please don’t let me be wrong on this.

Her lips twitched. “Is he good looking?” She held her hands up. “I know you told me the basics—hair, eye color, beard—but you neglected one vital piece of information.”

“And what was that?”

Claudia’s eyes twinkled. “Does he get your motor running? ”

I rolled my eyes. “The things you say.”

“That isn’t an answer.”

I gave her a mock glare. “Yes, okay? I’m attracted to him. And maybe—I said maybe, all right?—there’s a spark. A seed of something that might grow, providing someone doesn’t chop it off at the roots before it gets a chance.”

She leaned in and kissed my cheek. “Then go have dinner with my blessing.”

I snickered. “Thanks for that. So glad to have your permission.”

Claudia cupped my chin, tilting my face toward hers. “But if this guy hurts you, he’ll have me to deal with. Even if I’m back in the States, I’ll be on the first flight to Tahiti, ready to kick his ass.” She removed her hand.

I squeezed her shoulder. “I hear you. Now get out of here so I can put some clothes on.”

She stood, planted a kiss on my damp hair, then walked out of the room.

I didn’t move for a moment, staring at the thin rug next to the bed. Claudia had accomplished something important.

She’d forced me to be honest with myself.

The trickle of anticipation, the lightness in my chest, the feeling that my whole body was vibrating… I hadn’t felt like this for so long, and all these sensations were down to Gio. But underneath the growing excitement was one thought.

I don’t want to be disappointed.

I pointed to Gio’s rapidly emptying plate. “You really hate that, don’t you?” I teased. Once upon a time it had contained shrimp chow mein.

He nodded. “It’s disgusting. I might need to eat it all over again to make sure, though. Your tuna and frites looks just as bad. ”

I took a sip of my sparkling water. “I was right about the food, wasn’t I?”

He chuckled. “And about the wait, but boy, it was so worth it.” He glanced at our surroundings, a plastic table under a green canopy. “I think I nailed it with jeans and a tee. That appears to be the dress code around here.”

I’d spent the evening so far trying not to let him catch me staring. Gio wore a diamond earring in his left ear, and a gold chain that lay snug against his collarbones.

Hopefully he attributed my drooling to the food.

“And you were right, it isn’t a typical eatery, but I have to tell you, the food here was better than in some of the fancy restaurants in San Francisco.”

“Have you always lived there?”

He nodded. “I grew up in North Beach, except some people call it Little Italy. My nonna told me her family arrived there in the late eighteen-fifties, looking for gold. When the mines lost their appeal, they stayed and worked in hotels and restaurants.”

I smiled. “You’re very fond of your grandmother. There’s a light in your eyes when you talk about her.”

He let out a sigh. “I love her, but man, she makes it so hard.”

“What do you mean?”

Gio finished his chow mein, then wiped his lips. He took a long drink of water before regarding me with a pained expression, his face tight. “My family is very… traditional. And when I came out? Let’s just say Nonna wasn’t happy about having a gay grandson.”

Dear Lord. Gio and I weren’t so different after all. Maybe that was what I sensed in him, a connection.

“Has she mellowed since you first told her?”

He shrugged. “A little. Not much.” Another heavy sigh rolled out of him.

“I grew up in a family that valued practicality over passion. My parents pushed me to pursue a ‘real’ job,” he air-quoted.

“They wanted me to follow a safe, structured path in life. When I first told them I wanted to write, they tried to dismiss my ambitions as impractical and na?ve.”

“I’m guessing you rebelled.”

He chuckled. “You guess right. I think pouring my heart and soul into my writing was an act of sheer defiance.”

“Can you tell me what you write now?” I grinned. “Unless it’s a secret.”

“I write about people who struggle to overcome their origins, their obstacles. And in the end they triumph.”

“How many books have you written?”

“I’ve had eight published.”

Except that wasn’t what I’d asked. I knew evasion when I heard it. I was a master at it.

“Are you writing a book about the islands?”

Gio huffed. “I’m not writing at all.” I blinked, and he leaned back in his chair, his focus on his empty plate.

“You know what writer’s block is, don’t you?

” I nodded. “Well, I’m suffering from a severe case of it.

Six months ago, I was working on a book, and suddenly— pfft .

Someone turned off the faucet and the words stopped flowing.

I’ve tried everything to turn it back on, but so far, zilch.

” He coughed. “Except that’s not strictly true.

These past few days I’ve had a bit of inspiration, so maybe my staying here is working.

” He flushed, and I wondered what had provided him with the spark he was clearly trying to fan into flames.

Gio peered at me. “What about you? I’m here to escape the chaos of the real world—what are you trying to escape from?”

Was I that obvious, or was Gio just really perceptive? My money was on the latter. I debated ignoring the question and changing the subject, but that wasn’t fair. He’d been open and honest about his family, his work…

I had to be just as open and honest—to a point.

“It shows, huh?”

He bit his lip. “It was simply an impression that wouldn’t go away. ”

I expelled a breath. “I’m here because I don’t want to be around my family.”

He shifted his chair a little closer to mine. “What’s wrong with them?” The words sounded kind, his tone of voice soothing.

“My father is… Well, there’s a hardness to him. My older brother is just the same.”

“You seem to have escaped that trait.”

I gave him a warm smile. “Thank you for that. I’m told I take after my mother.

She died when I was young. By all accounts she was a sweet lady.

” I wished I’d known her better. Maybe my life could have been different if she’d been around.

Then I straightened in my chair. “Anyway, I chose to come here, where I can live on my own terms, not how they expect me to live.” I grimaced.

“At least here I don’t have to deal with their expectations. ”

“Of what?”

God, how to phrase it without revealing too much.

“Joining the family business,” I said at last. “I’m not ready for that. In fact, I don’t think I’ll ever be ready for it, whereas they are ideally suited. Plus, they don’t accept me being gay.”

“Sounds as if we have a lot in common,” Gio observed.

I stared out at the sky tinged with the colors of twilight, lights from boats twinkling out on the lagoon, a warm breeze ruffling the canopy over our heads.

It had been a good day, and as they say, all good things come to an end.

But I don’t want it to end.

“Can we do this again?” Gio blurted.

Relief swamped me. “I’d like that.”

He doesn’t want it to end either.

We each paid half, then I walked him to where we’d left our buggies.

“Thank you for the invitation, Gio. I had a great evening.”

He smiled. “Thanks for the hike. Maybe we could do another? ”

I beamed. “Works for me. You’ve got my number. Let’s fix a date.” He quirked his eyebrows, and I realized how that sounded.

But a date is exactly what I want.

He held out his hand, and we shook. I wasn’t sure if I imagined it, but the casual handshake seemed to linger.

I didn’t imagine the trickle of electricity tingling through me when his fingers brushed against mine, however.

Gio climbed into his buggy, and with a wave he was gone.

I stiffened as a familiar figure ambled across the street toward me.

“Have you been out here the whole time?” I demanded as Franz came to a halt. I knew what the slight bulge in the line of his jacket concealed.

“Yup. You having fun?”

“Yes, thank you. I’m surprised you didn’t interrupt us.”

He shrugged. “There was no need. You going home now?”

“That was the plan. Will you be following me?”

“Only until you get through the door.” He smiled. “So I’ll say goodnight now.”

I said nothing, but got into the buggy. I switched on the engine and pulled away, knowing he wouldn’t be far behind.

And if Gio and I do another hike? Another dinner? Will Franz keep his distance?

Somehow I doubted that.