Page 14 of Duty and Desire

Chapter Twelve

Gio

S oft golden sand underfoot, shallow calm waters lapping the shore, a huge beach towel to stretch out on, palm trees all along the beach providing shade…

Matira was everything a tropical beach should be.

“I come here often,” Nick admitted.

“I can see why.” I looked at the waves. “I bet it’s warm out there.”

“Why don’t we find out?” Nick unfastened his shorts and dropped them to his ankles, stepping out of them.

He wore dark blue swim briefs that left little to the imagination, and it took a tremendous effort on my part not to stare.

Nick folded his shorts and placed them on the towel—giving me a perfect view of his ass.

I turned my back on him as I undressed, not to avoid looking at him but to hide my present state. I glanced down, willing it to go back to sleep.

Fat chance.

We walked into the warm water, venturing out until it reached mid-thigh before we launched ourselves into the shallow waves and swam for a while. I turned onto my back and floated, staring up at the canopy of blue above us, the sun’s rays warming my chest.

This was heaven.

I forgot about writing and gave myself up to the pleasurable sensations: the feel of the water on my skin, the smells of the ocean, the hum of boat engines, and the squeals of children playing on the beach.

When I headed back to the spot where Nick had laid out the towel, I saw he was already sitting on it, legs bent, arms wrapped around his knees as he gazed at the lagoon. I took one glance at his expression, and my heart went out to him.

I had no idea where his mind had taken him, but wherever it was, he didn’t like it.

I shook my head to get rid of the last drops of water, and flopped onto the towel. “That was awesome.” When Nick didn’t respond, I reached across to touch his arm. “Hey. Are you all right?”

He lay down, cradling his nape. “It doesn’t matter how hard I try not to think about certain situations. They still manage to find a crack in my armor and launch a sneak attack.”

“Can you talk about any of these situations? Would that help?” I rolled onto my side, my head propped up in my palm.

He huffed. “If I told you, you wouldn’t believe me.”

“Try me.”

He turned his face toward mine. “You know I said my family don’t accept me being gay?” I nodded. “What might surprise you is the lengths they’d go to, to… rectify that situation.”

Cold inched its way around my heart and icy tendrils spread out over my skin. “Please, tell me you’re not talking about conversion therapy.”

His eyes widened. “No, thank God. I don’t think even my father would go that far. No, his idea is to marry me off.”

“To a woman, of course.”

“Of course. Because it’s obvious I just haven’t met the right one yet.” The heavy edge of sarcasm was so unlike him, even in my limited experience. “Claudia once joked about that, but she wasn’t far from the truth.”

“Are we talking about an arranged marriage?”

Nick nodded. “And my father’s been talking about it for as long as I can remember.”

“Well, you’re right. I am surprised. But it seems so out of touch. I mean, this is the twenty-first century.”

“Ours is a very old family. And the woman they want me to marry? She comes from an equally old family.” His face contorted.

“Do you know how old I was when this was decided? I wasn’t even eleven.

And I’m not alone. My brother went through exactly the same situation.

He’s five years older than me, and when he was twenty-six, he married the woman my father had picked out for him when he was still a child. ”

“How did that work out?”

Nick sighed. “They’re still together. They seem to be happy, but who can tell what goes on behind closed doors? I know they want children, but so far, there’s no news of that.”

“You have met her, I assume? This woman your father wants you to marry?”

He nodded. “When we were teenagers. She and her parents used to visit us during the summer. I hated the way our fathers would smile at us, saying things like ‘when they are married…” The way they discussed the situation, it was a fait accompli.”

“Is that one of the reasons why you came here? To avoid the marriage?”

He stuck his chin out. “One of many. I wasn’t about to stay there feeling trapped, cornered, so I told my father I was going to move to Bora-Bora.

” He gave a weak smile. “It was the first place that came to mind, but the more I thought about it, the more I fell in love with the idea.” He gestured to our surroundings. “This is my rebellion.”

“How did your father react?”

Nick swallowed. “He doesn’t like it but there isn’t a lot he can do about it.” His eyes narrowed. “Doesn’t stop him trying, however.” He sat upright. “Want to see what I’ve got for our picnic?”

And there was that unspoken message again.

Change the subject.

“Sure. I hope there’s fruit. I’ve eaten so much of it since I got here.”

Nick busied himself removing containers from the cool bag he’d brought, and it wasn’t long before the center of the towel was covered with food.

I took his proffered wet wipe to clean my hands, then grabbed a mango baton.

Juice trickled down my chin, and I chuckled.

“My dad used to say the only way to eat a mango was to strip naked, climb into the tub, and peel and eat it in there. He said it saved on washing clothes.”

Nick laughed. “Clever man, your father.”

We ate fruit, cheese, cold chicken, and cookies, washed down with bottles of water.

I don’t know whether it was the fresh air or the company, but everything seemed to give my taste buds an extra zing.

Once our appetites had been dulled, we got down to the really important task of soaking up some sun.

Nick held out the bottle of sunscreen. “Can you do my back?”

“Sure.” As I took it, movement caught my eye. “Er, Nick? I think I ought to warn you. Someone’s trying to steal my mango.” I pointed to the corner of the towel, where a very large crab was attempting to lug a mango spear back to his little hidey hole.

Nick jumped to his feet. “Well, don’t just sit there—take it off him—or her.”

“ You take it!”

His eyes widened. “Are you kidding? Those claws can deliver a healthy nip.”

By now the crab was burrowing into the sand.

“You know what? We should just let him have that piece on us.” Then I gaped as another crab appeared, making a beeline for our towel. “But let’s put all the food away, okay? ”

Nick rolled his eyes. “Great. No fruit for them to steal, just our toes to nibble.”

I had visions of three or four crabs sitting in a row, making a meal of us, and the thought had me laughing my ass off. When everything had been cleared away—and I’d taken a look around to make sure there were no more invaders—I gestured to the towel. “Lie face down and I’ll apply the sunscreen.”

Nick complied, and I opened the bottle with a snick .

For one brief moment I toyed with the idea of straddling his ass while I rubbed the lotion in, but I dismissed it just as quickly: the sight of him was already awakening part of my anatomy—again—and the last thing I wanted was for Nick to become aware of my arousal.

I knelt beside him, squirted lotion onto his skin, and smoothed it over his shoulders, down his spine, ending at the waistband of his swim briefs.

His skin was warm and soft.

“Want me to do the back of your legs? I mean, while I’ve got this stuff on my hands.”

“Thanks,” Nick murmured, his head resting on his forearms.

I worked as fast as I could. Each glide of my slick palms over his body only heightened my arousal, and I knew as soon as I was done, I’d head back to the water for a dip. Maybe a little distance would ease the problem.

Yeah right. I had a feeling this problem was here to stay.

We walked from the beach to where we’d left our bikes, secured to the trunk of a palm tree. Another day spent with Nick, and my feelings at the end of it were the same as every previous occasion.

I didn’t want it to end.

Nick fastened the food bag to the bike, then turned to face me. “This has been a fantastic day.”

Lines from a song played on a loop in my head, something about a perfect day .

I was glad I’d spent it with him.

“Listen… I know you don’t have much time left before Claudia leaves, but…”

“What?” Nick’s eyes were bright.

“Well, I was thinking. Would you have dinner with me tomorrow night?”

That slow smile turned my insides to mush. “I’d like that. Do you want to pick a restaurant this time?”

My heartbeat raced. “Actually, I was going to suggest I cook for us. At my place.”

Dark brown eyes locked onto mine. “That sounds great.” His voice was a little husky, and he cleared his throat. “Of course, you’ll need to give me directions.”

“I’ll send you a screenshot.” He stood about two feet away from me, and it was too far away.

This wasn’t like me. I was used to keeping my distance from people, maintaining control, never letting anyone get too close. But Nick was different. He was open—to a certain point—kind, and for some reason, I didn’t want to shut him out.

I took a step toward him, and it seemed—to me at least—that the air between us grew thick, laced with a quiet tension.

Nick didn’t budge, and I took that as a sign.

The voice inside my head was urging me to take a chance. I was close enough to feel his warmth, to hear each shallow breath, to see his lips tremble as he opened his mouth to speak, but no words came.

I knew then what caused my chest to tighten.

It was longing.

There was a part of me that didn’t want to pull away, that didn’t want to shut this out, even as the walls I’d spent years building around myself seemed to shudder all the way to their foundations. The silence that had fallen stretched out into long seconds, growing heavy, full of possibility.

Then Nick moved, close enough that his knee brushed mine. It was a whisper-soft touch, but it sent a shock of warmth through me. I met his gaze. Nick’s eyes were wide, searching, unsure, and in a rush I knew they mirrored my own hesitation, my uncertainty.

I licked my lips. Nick leaned in, slow and careful, and my heart skipped a beat. I remained still, frozen in time, caught in the tug of something that both terrified and fascinated me, and our lips finally met.

It was sweet, tentative, as if we were both testing the waters.

Nick’s lips were warm, a little unsure, but gentle, bearing a trace of mango and cookie.

My breath caught in my throat, my body tense, my hands restless at his sides.

The sensation was strange—something new, something raw.

There was no rush, no force in it. Just the soft brush of lips, the shared closeness that felt as fragile as glass.

A kiss I didn’t want to break.

Nick

My pulse raced as Gio deepened the kiss just a fraction, my mind reeling with the softness, the intimacy of it. I kept my hands still, but I could feel his warmth. I was aware of the faint scent of him, a comforting blend of sunscreen and the smell of sun-warmed skin.

I wanted this. A connection that felt both electric and soothing all at the same time.

Blood thundered in my ears. My heart pounded, my hands were clammy.

I’d been kissed before, but not many times, and never in a way that felt as deep as this moment, as important as this, as if I were poised at the edge of something unknown.

My breathing quickened as I waited to see where this led.

Gio’s kiss was unraveling me, until it was all I knew.

Then he pulled back, breaking the intimate connection, and the silence lingering between us had weight.

I didn’t know whether to say something, or let it be.

What comforted me was the lack of pressure.

For a few long seconds, neither of us moved, Gio apparently caught up in the stillness of what we’d shared just as I was .

He gazed at me, his lips parted, and my heart raced.

Don’t break this moment with words. Whatever we’d shared had been something delicate, something real, and it could shatter so easily.

When he spoke, relief pulsed through me.

“Seven o’clock tomorrow.”

I managed a smile. “Only if you remember to tell me how to get there.” I wanted to kiss him again, to renew our connection, but reality bit hard. We were standing under a palm tree, with tourists milling around us.

There were better locations, better times.

And Gio’s place sounded like the perfect location.

Gio chuckled. “I’ll send it as soon as I get home.” Those warm eyes focused on me. “Have fun tonight.”

I nodded, then watched as he climbed onto his bike and headed toward the road. I was still giddy from the kiss, still warm inside.

I think I might have more fun tomorrow night.