Page 22 of Daddy's Little Bunny (Ivory Mountain Daddies #2)
CHAPTER NINETEEN
MILES
W atching Olivia over the past few weeks has been difficult. All he wanted to do is wrap her up in bubble wrap and never let her go.
He was trying to be the strong support she needed while processing everything on his own.
He almost lost her and his heart couldn’t take any more pain. Seeing her bleeding out on the ground that night haunts his dreams.
Those first few days after the incident were a blur for both of them, but Miles just took it one step at a time.
He knew that she had so much to process, not only the fact that David was dead, but more importantly that he took something from her she would never get back.
Every time Miles thought about their future, he always assumed they would have a house full of kids one day.
Now that future was a distant memory, one that was hard for him to accept, so he knew that it was even harder on Liv.
There were other options out there and if she ever decided that she wanted to explore them, he would do whatever he needed to in order to make that happen.
Miles would be okay if they never had babies of their own, but he could see how much it crushed his Little girl and there was nothing he could do to take the pain away.
Diesel didn’t know how to handle Olivia’s mood and mental state either. He just followed her around the house and laid at her feet wherever she was. It was sweet to see her lean into his strength as well.
Miles knew that Liv slipping into a deep Littlespace was because her brain needed a rest from the onslaught of emotions that she was dealing with.
He was perfectly fine with this development and loved being able to take care of her in that way.
Once she was to her new normal, Miles planned on talking to her about trying to play again at this age when she wasn’t using it as a defense mechanism.
He believes that Olivia would find a lot of peace and would enjoy letting everything go and just being his baby.
She didn’t fuss at the use of her paci or bottle when he started using those just days after their return home. The first time he diapered her as if she was a baby it was easy to tell that, even in her state, she was curious about it.
Olivia never used the diaper, but Miles wouldn’t have minded if she did. He would just take that as something else he could do to take care of his Little Bunny and it would be an honor to do so.
She never spoke following the news from the doctor and at first Miles understood why.
Now, many weeks had passed and he was starting to become concerned that she might not ever speak again. So when she murmured to him, “I love you, Daddy,” one evening, his heart soared.
He knew that everything would be okay, but that gave him another push of hope that he needed because he was starting to lose his.
Now that she seemed to be making a small step into the right direction, Miles was deciding when would be the best time to bring up her going to therapy.
It was going to be a hard conversation that he didn’t really want to have with her, but it was needed. Miles was man enough to admit that there was only so much he could do for his Little girl before professional help would be better suited.
Going into their fourth week home, Olivia was coming more out of her shell and he was thrilled to see it.
She was getting up during the day and allowed Miles to dress her in one of her Little outfits before she headed into the nursery, where she spent her time playing fashion shows with her barbies and stuffies.
Sometimes Miles would go in and do work from home while watching over her. Other times, she curled up in his lap and he would read her the next chapter of whatever book they were currently reading.
Right now that book is His Perfect Little Hacker by Everly Raine. She was a new author that Raelyn told Liv about during one of her trips over. They have fallen in love with her books and have been making their way through all her series.
Waking Olivia up that morning, Miles carried her inside the nursery to begin the routine that they had fallen into easily.
“Daddy, do you ever think I’ll be okay?”
“What do you mean, Little one? ”
“Well, the mean thoughts in my mind keep telling me that you are going to leave because I’m no longer a woman. I try to ignore them and tell them they are wrong, but they can be loud at times.”
“Oh Olivia, I would never leave you. Your mine for eternity and beyond. Going through what you faced doesn’t make you less than a woman. Your worth isn’t valued on if you can have children or not.”
“I just hate that I can’t have the future that I always dreamed of.”
“I know, babygirl. Daddy wants nothing more than to take away the hurt and pain that you are facing, but I can’t. What I can tell you is that we can still have that future, even if we have to take a different route.”
“What if I don’t want that future anymore?”
“Then we focus on that instead. I want you, Olivia, exactly like you are. All the bumps, scrapes, and scars-both physical and mental. I want every piece of you. Just you, Olivia.”
“Okay, Daddy.”
“Baby do you think maybe it’s time to talk to someone about these thoughts and feelings?”
“Like a shrink?”
“Yes, a therapist, baby. Like I said, there’s only so much I can do as your Daddy. I think a professional might help you tremendously.”
“I’m scared Daddy. I don’t want them to look at me strangely or think I’m a freak. And what if I fell into Littlespace while talking about it all? Then it will be even worse. No, no, no. I don’t think I can do that.”
“What if I told you that I know someone in the lifestyle? Someone who wouldn’t bat an eye at you playing in Littlespace during your session, if that’s what helped you work through it all. ”
“There’s people out there like that?”
“Yes, there are, sweetie. I know just the person and I think that you would like her.”
He watched her work through her thoughts. Miles would never force her to go to therapy.
They could continue to do as they have been these past few weeks, but he really believes, with just a little help, she might be able to overcome this one day.
“I’ll do it. I’ll talk to the therapist, but only if you are there with me. I don’t want to face it alone.”
“As long as I am still breathing, you will never be alone again, Olivia Mae. I promise that Daddy will do whatever he needs to be with you.”
Olivia gave him the smile that he has been longing to see for weeks now. He didn’t think that he would ever see it again and his heart soared at the sight of her beaming up at him.
Quickly finishing up dressing her for the day, she picked out fuzzy light green leggings paired with a long sleeve shirt with Daddy’s lucky charm and striped socks, Miles set her on the floor kissing her head before heading into the kitchen to make some breakfast.
They were making progress with introducing solid food back into her diet. The current request every morning was a bowl of cheesy grits and a piece of lightly toasted bread.
Miles chuckled at the memory he had of Olivia telling him that he toasted the bread too much. Apparently, there was a difference between lightly toasted, golden toasted, and crispy toasted. She taught him just the right way to make her toast that day.
Pulling out his phone, he shot off a text to a friend of his that he knew from attending the BDSM club a few towns over.
Miles: Hey Cleo! It’s Miles. Do you have a second to talk?
Cleo: Long time no talk! Missed you at the club dude. There’s quite a few Littles that would love a chance to play with Uncle M.
Cleo was a Mommy and has been searching for her perfect Little boy for awhile now.
Miles: Yeah, I’ll have to make my way there one night. I’m sure Olivia would love to play in the playroom with all the other Littles.
Cleo: Emmett had mentioned you finally found your Little girl. I’m so happy for you!
Miles: That’s actually why I was reaching out. I could use some help of the professional kind.
Cleo: Alright, what’s up?
Miles: A little over a month ago, Olivia was kidnapped and held captive by her ex and he abused her for over a week before we found her.
Cleo: Oh, no ! That’s horrible, Miles.
Miles: That’s not even the worst part. Before he died he managed to inflict one more wound on her that will last forever.
Cleo: I’m almost scared to ask, but what happened.
Miles: She can no longer have kids.
Cleo: ARE YOU KIDDING ME!? THAT BASTARD TOOK AWAY HER ABILITY TO HAVE CHILDREN?!? !
Miles grinned slightly at her response. Cleo never wanted to see people get hurt, but especially a Little. Cleo didn’t talk about it often, but one lonely night following time at the club, she and Miles talked about how she herself couldn’t have children.
She didn’t tell him how it happened and he didn’t ask. That’s why he knew she was the perfect person for Olivia to talk to. It didn’t hurt that she was a Mommy and he knew her nurturing side would put Liv at ease.
Miles: Yeah…well she has been processing all these emotions and feelings. I’ve done my best to help and guide her, but I’ve reached my limit and I’m not afraid to call in help when I need it.
Miles: And I will do whatever it takes to help my Little girl.
Cleo: Of course! I would love the chance to talk to her. Does she know that you reached out to me?
Miles: Yeah, she does. That’s what took me so long to reach out. She’s been in deep Littlespace since the incident happened. We have only recently started to play at an older Little age.
Cleo: Well, I would love to meet the Little girl who has stolen your heart. When did you have in mind?
Grabbing her grits, toast, and sippy cup filled with milk, Miles headed back to the nursery.
Stopping short when he overheard Liv talking to Nibbles, who they had managed to repair with a lot of help from a local seamstress.
“Nibbles, I don’t want anyone to face what I did. I want to be a help to other women out there but I don’t know how.”
Miles knew exactly how she could help, but he filed that information in the back of his mind. His primary goal was helping her regain her life back. Knocking on the door, he walked in and placed her food beside her on the floor before slipping into the rocking chair and texting Cleo back.
Miles: Whenever your next free day is. I also ask that you come to the house. Liv doesn’t like leaving right now and I don’t want to cause her more harm.
Cleo: Of course. I have some availability Friday afternoon.
Miles: Great, we will see you then.
Pocketing his phone, Miles turned his attention to his Little Bunny. Sliding down to the floor beside her, he picked up a barbie to dress for the fashion show.
He felt like a little bit of the pressure had lifted from his shoulders and for once he believed that they were taking a step in the right direction.