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five

“T his place is nice,” I mumble as Kellan leads me inside.

My stomach is in knots because it’s a fancy place. One where you take your date to impress them. The thought of how many women he has brought here has my stomach souring.

“Yeah, it is,” he practically whispers before walking up to the hostess. “Reservation for two under Cooper.”

“Of course, Mr. Cooper. Right this way. We have the best table for you.”

That only has my nerves getting more frayed. He comes here enough that they would give him the best table?

This was a bad idea.

“Have a seat and your server will be right with you,” the woman says.

Kellan pulls out my chair, waiting until I’m seated before taking his own.

He takes his seat, smiling over at me softly. “You look beautiful tonight,” he tells me.

“You said that already.” The words come out a little blunt, but I’m starting to get pissed.

Why would he bring me here? I’m not one of his women. I thought I was special, but I guess they all did too. God, this is just a page out of his playbook.

I need to get out of here.

“You deserve to hear it a million times.”

That line should soften my heart, but it only has it reinforcing its defenses. I’m about to tell him I want to go home when the server comes up.

“Here are your menus. Sorry for the wait. Have you been here before?”

“No, sir. First time for us both, but you come highly recommended. Is there something on the menu that is your favorite?” Kellan asks.

I study him as the server reads off the specials and provides recommendations. Did he lie, or is this really his first time too? Did I read the situation all wrong?

“For you, miss?” the server asks.

“The steak special with truffle mashed potatoes sounds divine.”

“What kind of salad?”

“Caesar. Thank you.”

“Our Caesar comes with pine nuts on top. Is that okay?”

“Perfect.”

As he walks away, I give Kellan my full attention. “Highly recommended, huh?”

He nods. “The travel website says it’s the number one romantic date spot in the area. The reviews were mostly good.”

My stomach starts to ease. “How’d you get them to save the best table for you?”

He chuckles. “Pretty sure they say that to everyone. I know it’s a bit upscale and not like a place a college kid would normally eat at, but I wanted to plan something special so you know this was more than another first date. I didn’t want to take you somewhere we would forget. I wanted us to experience something together for the first time.”

There go those defenses falling as easily as they came up.

Thank God I didn’t say anything, otherwise, I would look like a bigger ass then I already feel.

“You’ve had a lot of first dates, huh? Any heartbreaks?”

I’m pushing my luck asking that. He hasn’t figured out that Clay is my brother, but he will. I’m worried that when he does, he will lose his shit. It could ruin whatever this is that we are starting. I can only hope that this doesn’t blow up in my face.

“If you would have asked me a year ago? I would have told you yes, but hindsight is twenty-twenty, right?”

“Oh, you are going to have to elaborate on that.” I give him a look like, come on, man .

He laughs. “Fair enough. I’d rather get the difficult shit out of the way anyway. Up until last year, I was what my best friend called a serial monogamist. I wasn’t a playboy who slept with lots of women then dumped them. I would date women for months at a time and then break up with them because they weren’t the right fit.” He cringes. “I know. It sounds so bad, and looking back, I was a terrible guy. I thought because I stayed with them, that made me better than a player, but the truth is that I only caused more hurt. I can see that now.”

“What changed?” I ask, but I know the answer.

Grace.

“My best friend did. She was my rock all through my life. I had this notion in my head that we would be together at some point, but I wasn’t ready for that, so I was out sowing my wild oats and all that. Then she met someone new, and it broke me. At the time, I thought it was because I was in love with her, but I know now that’s not the truth.”

My heart is hammering in my chest. While I’m happy to know that he isn’t actually in love with her, I feel horrible. Here he is thinking that this is all new information when it’s really not, or most of it’s not. I should have told him that I was Clay’s sister. This is giving me anxiety, sitting here and pretending I have no clue what he is talking about.

“What is the truth then? You didn’t love her?”

He shrugs. “I will always love her. She is my best friend, even if things are a bit difficult between us right now. It doesn’t matter, though, because at the end of the day, she is still the girl who was there when the pimples showed up and the awkward limbs were growing. She’s the one who watched me crash and burn the first time I asked a girl out, only for that same girl to turn around and ask me out a year later. She stayed by my side through it all. My only regret is that somewhere along the way I stopped being there for her. I can’t change that, and I hate myself for it. To answer your question, though, I thought I was in love with her, so seeing her with that guy felt like it was killing me, but when I took a step back and evaluated everything, I realized I wasn’t in love with her. I was in love with the idea of her. Of having someone I trusted without a doubt that I know would never want me for my money or the clout they would get by being with me.”

The way he is talking is as if he went through therapy or something. Maybe he did. The man sitting in front of me is not the same man who Grace and Peyton complained about last year. He’s not the same immature guy who acted like Grace was a toy he didn’t want anyone else to play with. He has grown. He can see what he did was wrong and has remorse for how he treated her. I only wish he would tell her that.

“You should tell your best friend the conclusion you’ve come to,” I tell him.

He shakes his head. “I’m not there yet. I know I need to talk to her at some point. Our parents are best friends. I still get a queasy feeling when I see her with him. I don’t think it’s because I want to be with her, but until I can come to terms with their relationship and not want to gouge my eyes out every time I see them, I don’t think I can talk to her.”

I nod. I get it. Sometimes you know you need to do something but can’t bring yourself to do it.

That’s how I ended up here. Instead of telling my mom and Clay I wasn’t sure I wanted to go to college, I just came here and hoped for the best.

I can’t fault Kellan for that.

“Anyway. Now that I’ve been a total downer, tell me more about you.”

I allow him to steer the subject away from his past.

“My volunteer work is going great. In fact, Martha, the lead mediator, said that I’m her top requested volunteer. I guess the kids love me and the parents like that I give them distance while also maintaining the boundaries I am required to have. She says I have a real talent for working with families in a crisis.”

“That’s amazing, beautiful. I had no doubt that you would be a rock star. Look at what you’ve done with me. You have me spilling my guts, and it’s only the first date.”

“Oh come on, hotshot. You haven’t told me your deepest, darkest secrets yet. I still have some work to do.” I wink at him, making him laugh.

As the rest of dinner flies by with banter and flirting, I can’t help but look at Kellan for the man he is today. He isn’t the same kid who made dumb mistakes. He went through some trauma and pain and came out the other side stronger and wiser than he was before.

Looking at him now, I only see one thing.

Potential.

* * *

Dinner was rocky at first, but ended up being a blast.

I was so nervous to take Cora to that place. The internet said it was a good date spot, but when we went inside, I felt so out of place. It didn’t feel like a place college kids should be allowed. Yet they led us to the table, and we ate a phenomenal meal while we chatted about everything and nothing at the same time.

I won’t lie. It was hard talking about Grace with Cora. I was worried it might scare her away.

Instead, I could see how her face softened as I spoke. It’s like for the first time, someone actually sees me for who I really am. Not the guy they want me to be or the asshole who fucked shit up in the past.

She saw the Kellan who was right in front of her. The one desperate to make this date work because she has me catching feelings quicker than the common cold.

After I pay for our meal, I lead her back out to my truck. The drive to her place is a quick one, but I park a little further away so I can walk her to the door.

I’m not ready for the night to end.

She must not be either, because she takes my hand, setting a slower than normal walking pace. I match her, ready to waste the entire night with her if that’s what it takes.

“You never told me about your family,” I say, needing to hear her voice once more.

“Same old story. Raised by a single mom, and I have an older brother. His aspirations overshadowed everything else in our family. I’ve never resented him for it, though. I’m proud of him. Everyone makes comments like they should pity me because my brother received more attention, but I don’t want that. I don’t need pity because there is enough room for both of us to have attention. I had a good life. My mother never favored one of us over the other. She showered me with what she could while also giving him what he needed to build a future for himself. She sacrificed so much so that we could have good lives.”

“She sounds like an amazing woman,” I tell her, pulling her to a stop by a tree several steps from the door to her dorm.

“She is. The best. Even now, she is working her ass off in case one of us needs something. She doesn’t have to support us anymore, but I know she sends my brother weekly deposits of money as she does the same for me. Honestly, I’m grateful for how I grew up. I never missed not having a father. I had a mother who did enough to fill both spots in my heart. She taught me the importance of perseverance and hope. She and my brother showed me why it is important to be a good person and treat others with respect. They shaped me into who I am today. How can I be mad about that when I’m pretty damn happy with the person I am?” She looks up at me, her eyes shining with passion.

She means every single word she says. As she should. I’m beginning to see that Cora is more than the quirky, fun girl I met at that party. She is soulful. She has morals and sticks to them. I never have to question if Cora is going to do the right thing because it’s not in her DNA to do the wrong thing.

It gives me all the more reason to like her.

“You can’t be. I’m pretty happy about who you are too. In case you were wondering,” I tease.

She rolls her eyes. “Of course you are. I’m a dime. You’d be a fool to toss me to the side for someone lesser than.”

“The confidence is sexy. Tell me more about how amazing you are. It turns me on.”

Her eyes sparkle with humor. “I should stop then. Don’t want Rosie and her five sisters to have to be up all night helping you with your little issue.”

I snort. “Little?”

She can’t help but smile wider. “I’m assuming because of your truck. Usually only men who have something to compensate for drive lifted trucks.”

I shake my head, laughing. “You are a spitfire. I’ll give you that. Anytime you want, I can prove to you that I have nothing to prove.”

Her laughter dies down as she grabs my other hand, facing me as she leans against the tree.

I want to kiss her. So bad do I want to kiss those lips. I won’t, though. Not yet.

“One day I hope you do prove me wrong. I really like you, Kellan. You are a charmer, but you are also honest. You didn’t shy away from telling me the hard stuff. I admire that. I like to live in the moment, though. Savor life as I experience it. So no matter how much I want you to lean in and kiss me right now like I’m sure you want to do, I’m going to ask you not to. We only get so many last first times in our life. If this is my last first date, I want to soak it in. I want my cheeks to never stop hurting from all the smiles and laughter. My stomach to never calm down from the butterflies causing chaos inside of me. I want to go to bed tonight and wonder what it would be like to have your lips on mine. I want to think about it for days to come until the time is right to experience it.”

I pull my hand from hers and cup her face. “You want to take it slow? I can do slow. We can move at a glacial pace if we have to. Know that I’m right there with you, though. You will be in my dreams every night. My heart will skip a beat every time I see your name on my phone. I will be counting down the minutes until I get to bask in the peace that being in your presence brings me.” I swallow hard before continuing. “And yeah. Rosie and her five sisters will be very busy helping me live out my fantasies with you until the time is right.”

Her breath comes a little faster. “Should I be jealous of her?”

“Absolutely not. She can never hold a candle to you. Now I’m going to need you to go inside and make sure to look back over your shoulder at me. Give me a glimmer of hope that you are feeling this chemistry between us as potent as I am. Then you go up to your room and have a good night’s sleep because if you don’t, I’m going to kiss you. I’m going to kiss the fuck out of you and make you forget all that poetry we both just spit.”

She shakes her head, laughing, and she steps into my arms, hugging me tight.

It feels amazing. To be held by her like this. At this moment, I never want to let her go.

I do, though.

She surprises me when she lands a kiss on my cheek, close to the corner of my mouth. “I promise to pine for you if you pine for me,” she whispers.

“Deal. Run along now, beautiful.”

I watch her as she turns, scurrying up to the door. As I asked, she looks over at me, biting her bottom lip. It has my dick twitching in my pants.

She waves before going inside, leaving me out in the dark alone.

The entire drive home, I can’t help but smile.

I am going to marry that girl one day.

I have no doubts about it.