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nineteen

T he guys are high on their victory. They are cheering and yelling as we walk down the street to a local sports bar.

I’m laughing as I watch people glare around us. Probably not smart of us to be out screaming about our victory in the town of the losing team. Still, I can’t help but smile as Kellan pulls me closer to his side, singing the school’s fight song along with the guys.

I love seeing him getting along with them so well. It’s like he’s finally allowing himself to get close to them. To bond with them in a way he couldn’t before.

I’m so glad I decided to come. I almost didn’t because I didn’t want to have to share a room with Grace and Peyton that I can’t pay for. Grace refused to hear about it, though. She demanded I go and paid for the whole thing. Peyton told me to stop fighting it because Grace was going to do what Grace wanted to do. It didn’t hurt that Kellan shoved some money at me for the ride down. He claims it’s because he wanted me to look for these new fruit chews he has been looking for, but I think he’s a liar. I found them at the first gas station, which tells me they are more popular than he is letting on.

Still, I accepted it from him. Even let him buy me a coffee for the trip.

It was worth it, though. Worth sucking up my pride and accepting the help because tonight was amazing.

I got to watch Kellan and Clay work together to win. Beckett and Wyatt looked good too. I had my girls by my side. Then Kellan blew me that kiss, and I swear I melted right into my seat.

I never thought I would like dating a hockey guy. Not with my brother being one, but I see the appeal. They are strong, have stamina, and there is this raw energy to them that makes them irresistible. Like even though we are walking into a bar together, I want to jump his bones. I’ve never felt this strongly before.

“Go get a seat with the girls. I’ll bring you a drink.” He taps my butt twice, making my heart rate up even more.

I can’t even speak as he walks away. Other women are staring at him, but when he looks over his shoulder and winks at me, all I feel is special.

“Girl, you have hearts in your eyes,” Peyton jokes, pulling me to the only free table. There are only four chairs, but the guys will manage.

“She’s in loooove,” Grace teases.

“Shhh.” I look over at Kellan, but there’s no way he heard us.

“You are so adorable. I love this look on you, girl. You are beaming,” Peyton adds.

“Well, I don’t know if I’m ready for him to know how I feel yet, so maybe we keep it on the DL?” I glare at them both.

They only laugh harder.

Assholes, the lot of them.

Clay comes back first, sliding a bottle of water over to Grace before standing behind her, his hands on her shoulders. Beckett and Kellan come over next, four bottles of water between them. I love that they take hockey so seriously. Even now, they won’t drink because it’s during the season.

“Here you go, beautiful.” Kellan hands me my water, mirroring Clay’s position.

Beckett hands Peyton hers, but she raises a brow at him. “Don’t even think about it.”

“What? I was going to take the free seat. You think I’m trying to snuggle up to you?” he asks.

“I am a fucking queen, so I wouldn’t be surprised.” She flips her hair over her shoulder, taking a sip of her water.

I don’t miss the way Beckett follows her movements, longing in his eyes.

Poor guy has a crush, and yet she won’t give him the time of day. I make a mental note to talk to her again. She’s so focused on working, I don’t think she even notices that he likes her.

“Where are Wyatt and Brett?” I ask, changing the subject.

“Brett was hurting, so Wyatt went back to the hotel with him,” Clay advises.

“That’s sweet of him,” I murmur.

“Calvin, bro. Do yourself a favor.” Kellan steps away from me to pull the freshman over to our table. “Put the shot down and drink water. Trust me. I drank most of the season last year, and you could tell with my playing.”

“I’m not going to get to play this year, so why does it matter?” He looks dejected.

“Not the way to look at it. You could get called up at any minute. Even if you don’t, you should treat your body well. Do you want to go pro?” Kellan asks him.

“Of course.” The kid perks up.

“Then you need to prepare yourself like you are going to go pro. Don’t mess up your chances by drinking. Is that shot really worth your career?” Kellan steps back from the kid, giving him a chance to think.

I reach out, grabbing his hand.

I love watching him be protective over this kid. It’s like a glimpse into the future of what he will be like with his own kids. Maybe even our kids.

The thought has my cheeks heating.

“You’re right. Hendricks said it would be a good way to blow off steam. Fuck.” Calvin runs his hand over his face. “I’m going back to the hotel.”

He sets the shot on the table and stalks away. Kellan grabs the shot, pouring it in the trash before setting the glass back on the table.

“That was smooth, Cooper. I don’t know if I would have done the same,” Clay admits.

“Been where he’s at. It’s easy to get distracted by the college experience and lose sight of your goals.” Kellan shrugs, looking away uncomfortably.

I notice that he rubs his chest again. He does that a lot. It makes me wonder if he has bad heartburn or something.

Before I can ask, Peyton squeals. “This is my jam. Let’s go.”

She pulls Grace out onto the floor, pointing at me to do the same.

Turning to Kellan, I give him a coy smile. “Dance with me, hotshot.”

“Would love to, beautiful.”

“Gross. Get a room,” Beckett calls after us.

I don’t miss his grunt or the way Clay says, “Dude, that’s my sister,” as we walk away.

Once on the floor, I spin, wrapping Kellan’s arms around my center as I start to dance with him. He pulls me even closer, grinding against my back. My body feels like it is on fire. Every place his hands touch me feels like sparks against my skin.

Spinning in his arms, I wrap my own around his neck. The way his hands lightly grab my ass has me ready to dry hump him on this floor. My pussy is throbbing, needing him inside of me.

I’ve never felt this turned on in my life.

Popping up onto my tiptoes, I pull his head down for a kiss. He doesn’t hesitate, sliding his tongue against mine. All pretenses of dancing have fallen away as we make out on the dance floor without shame. I have no idea how long we stand in the middle of the floor like that, but the only thing that stops us is a tap on my shoulder.

I pull back, feeling how puffy my lips feel.

“We are going back to the hotel. You okay?” Peyton asks.

I nod. “All good.”

“Good. Let me know if you are planning to sleep elsewhere. Grace is with Clay.”

“She’s staying with me.” Kellan’s husky tone has my core tightening.

“Yeah, I’m staying with him.” I’m breathless.

Peyton only laughs, giving me a wink. “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”

As she walks away, I don’t miss how Beckett meets her halfway, his hand falling to the small of her back.

Looking back at Kellan, I smile. “So I’m staying with you tonight?”

“I only want to cuddle. I like having you in my arms,” he admits.

That only makes me grin wider. “That’s too bad. I was hoping I could take you for a ride.”

It takes him a minute to realize what I’ve said, but once it clicks, he smirks. “Then we better stop for condoms on the way to the hotel.”

“Lead the way then.”

As I walk out of the bar with him, I realize I have never felt as desired as I do in this moment.

It’s all because of Kellan.

* * *

Tonight has been perfect. It was a fight till the end, but we won our game. I think those victories are even sweeter because it shows how close the teams are skills-wise. Then we had a celebration, and for once, I got to go out with the guys I used to idolize. Grace was there, and I only felt happiness for her. The familiar shame is still there but faded.

Then there’s Cora. She is what really made this night special. I’ve had many women sit up in the stands with my jersey, but I never once sought them out. Tonight, I wanted to see her cheering for me, my name on her back. I couldn’t help the kiss I blew her way. I know the crowd was probably wondering what the hell I was doing, but she knew it was for her. Then we got to the bar, and everything escalated.

Dancing with Cora is the single most erotic thing I have ever done. The way her body pressed against mine, rubbing me in all the right ways. I was close to embarrassing myself in my pants, but thankfully I was able to hold off the release by naming off players on the championship teams for the last five years.

When she said she was hoping to take me for a ride, I knew there was no way I could tell her no. So I didn’t.

Instead, I texted Wyatt and told him to find somewhere else to sleep.

After a quick stop at the corner convenience store for some condoms, we walked hand in hand down the sidewalk toward the hotel.

“Are you sure about this?” I ask Cora, holding open the door to let her go into the hotel in front of me.

“I am.”

“If you’re ever not sure, you’ll tell me, right?” I pull her a little closer.

She squeezes me around my center as we stop to wait for the elevator.

“Your heart is racing. Maybe I should be asking you if you are sure about this.”

My hand reaches up, rubbing that spot on my chest that always hurts me. “I want to do this right,” I admit to her as the elevator dings before the doors open.

I step in, keeping her under my arm.

“There is no right or wrong, Kellan. There’s just us.”

Her words strike a chord in me. I’ve been doing everything I can to not be the man I was before. To be the man I think she deserves, but maybe I should be focused on being in the moment with her.

By the time we are standing at the door, I feel on edge. I have never been this nervous to be with a woman before.

That thought in itself has me wondering how shitty of a person I actually was because I know the reason why I care so much is because of Cora. I care about Cora more than I have ever cared about anyone else I have ever been in a relationship with. The connection we have, I feel it bone deep. As if she has burrowed her way into the very fiber of my being. I love every single minute of it.

As the door to my room closes behind me, she looks over the room. It’s not much. There are two queen beds with a nightstand between them. There is also a TV mounted on the wall with a dresser underneath it. Neither Wyatt nor I bothered to unpack, so our bags are sitting against the wall, our clothes sticking out of them. I’m glad Coach collected our hockey bags with our dirty clothes to put on the bus after the game. I’d hate to think what our room would smell like otherwise.

God, she’s beautiful, I think as I watch her take in the room. When she spins to face me, I feel like something has hit me in the chest.

I love this woman.

The thought doesn’t make me feel better, though. If anything, it has me feeling even more nervous.

“You rub your chest like that a lot,” Cora says suddenly.

I drop my hand, not realizing I had been rubbing it. “It’s subconscious. I don’t always know I’m doing it,” I admit.

“Do you have heartburn?”

I shake my head. “No. It happens mostly when I’m nervous or anxious.”

“Hmm.” She steps toward me, her hand coming to rest where I was rubbing on my chest. “Do I make you nervous, hotshot?”

“More than you fucking know, beautiful.”

She smiles up at me. “Good. You make me nervous too.”

I swallow hard. “I don’t want to fuck this up.”

“Shhh.” She leans up, taking my lips with hers once before pulling back. “There’s no pressure here. No expectations. Let’s just cuddle and see where it leads.”

I nod, walking over to my bag. I kick off my shoes and socks before stripping down to my boxers. The only thing I keep in my hands is the box of condoms. Then I turn, sucking in a gasp at what I see.

Standing in front of me is my very gorgeous girlfriend with my jersey falling to her knees. Her bare knees that were wearing jeans moments ago.

She reaches out for me, so I take her hand. I let her lead me to the bed, nearly nutting in my pants when she bends over to pull the covers back. She climbs under them, so I do too. I leave the box of condoms on the nightstand before I turn to face her.

As soon as I’m settled, she cuddles up next to me. She gets as close as she can, her lips only a breath away from my own.

“Such willpower you have. Most men wouldn’t be able to be this close without kissing a girl,” she teases.

I swallow hard. “I’m not most men, and you sure as hell aren’t most women.”

Her lip touches mine as she adjusts, her leg going over my body, making my dick twitch against it when it settles over me.

“Yeah, but still…”

My lips are on hers before she can finish the sentence. It wasn’t willpower holding me back. It was respect for her.

Trusting her to tell me if she wants me to stop, I lead the kiss, devouring her. My hand finds her leg, caressing it as I show her how much I truly want her with my body. She is right there with me.

It’s as if we are dancing. I slide my hand a little higher, she grinds into me harder. I kiss her a little deeper, and she pulls my hair, demanding I give her more. Each action of mine is met with enthusiasm from her.

I never thought she could feel a fraction of what I do, but in this moment, I think we are pretty evenly matched.

When my hand finally reaches her ass under my jersey, feeling nothing but skin, I groan into her mouth. “No underwear?” I ask her.

She shakes her head. “I was hoping we wouldn’t need any.”

Her eyes are flashing with mischief. Part of me wants to fuck her into the bed and show her what an animal she makes me, but the other part wants this to be different.

She is different.

So instead, I flip her on her back, kissing my way down her throat. I nip at her nipple through the jersey before finding my way between her legs. Pushing my head underneath the jersey, I find her glistening with arousal.

I don’t hesitate. I lick her from opening to clit. When she lets out a loud moan, I do it again.

Some women can only get off with penetration while others need clit stimulation. Then others need a bit of both.

“Kellan, more,” she whimpers, pulling at my hair.

I hum, making her arch into me. “Trust me. I’ll take care of you.”

Her breath catches as she nods, spreading her legs a little wider.

I take my time, exploring every single movement until I find the one that makes her scream the loudest. Thrusting my fingers inside her, I press down on her clit with my tongue until I feel her gush all over my tongue. I lap up every bit of release she gives me, not willing to leave a single drop behind.

When I finally come up for air, Cora is dazed and staring at me like I hung the moon.

She has me feeling like I’m the king of the world. The way she is looking at me now makes me feel like maybe, just maybe, I could be worthy of the love clearly shining in her eyes right now.

I know it’s a mirage. I could never be worthy, but it encourages me to do everything in my power to be the man she needs. The one she deserves.

“Are you done? Do you want more?” I whisper, kissing her lips softly.

She grabs my cock in response, stroking it a few times. Then she reaches over, grabbing a condom.

I let her open it and push it down my length. There’s something so intimate about allowing her to do it for me. It’s not something I’ve ever trusted another woman with.

Once it’s on, she positions me at her entrance.

I cup her cheek. “Look at me. The entire time I want your eyes on me.”

She nods.

Slowly, I slide inside of her. It takes a few thrusts until I’m fully seated inside of her. Then I stare down at her, hoping my eyes are conveying how my heart feels.

I love you.

The words want to spill from my lips but now is not the right time. I don’t want her to ever question those words when they leave my mouth. I’m worried if I say them now, she will wonder if it was the emotions of the intimacy we are sharing.

No, I need her to know that I mean every single word.

So instead of speaking them out loud, I let my body tell hers what I am feeling.

I start off with a slow pace, grinding against her so that her clit is still stimulated.

As her breathing becomes more labored, I hitch her knees up over my arms, thrusting a little harder and deeper all the while keeping my eyes on hers.

She watches me right back with glassy eyes. Her mewls turn into moans. Before I know it, she is screaming out my name, her pussy clenching against me so hard, I come without warning. As my dick twitches inside of her, I shower her face with kisses.

Then she blinks up at me, the biggest smile on her face, and I know we are on the same page.

I love her, and I know she loves me too.