Page 30

epilogue

MONTHS LATER

W ho knew working full time would be so exhausting? Not that it isn’t always rewarding.

It’s only been a week of me officially taking the job that Martha offered me with DHS, but it has been a hell of an adjustment. I went from only going a few times a week and working a few hours to being thrown into the circus and learning to hold the right ropes.

There is way more to child welfare than I ever anticipated.

I still have training to go through until I can become a caseworker, but Martha assured me that I would still be handling mediations several times a week as well. She had spoken so highly of me that the head of the department came to my interview to meet me.

Let’s just say that he was impressed with my compassion for the children.

As I park my car, I spot Peyton heading to hers in the spot next to me. I smile and wave, but she comes over to me instead.

“What’s up?” I ask her.

She smiles. “You have a surprise waiting for you upstairs. I also wanted to let you know I won’t be home tonight. So don’t wait up.”

When she winks at me, I roll my eyes and smile.

“Love you, PeyPey,” I call out to her back as she rounds her car to get in.

“You too, CoCo.”

Grabbing my bag from the back seat, I make my way up to the apartment.

I know Kellan is here. His truck was parked in one of the visitors’ parking spots. The apartment complex only provides two parking spots per apartment, and since Grace doesn’t own a car, Peyton and I claimed them.

When I get to the apartment door, I open it, smiling when I see what is in store for me.

Kellan is standing there in a button-down and slacks. In his hand is a bouquet of marigolds in yellows, oranges, and reds. They are so beautiful.

“I love them,” I tell him.

He smiles. “I love you. Come in, I made dinner.”

Kellan isn’t much of a cook, so I’m surprised when I see a whole meal laid out on the table.

“What is all of this?”

He looks sheepish. “Grace helped.”

“Where is she anyway?”

“Out with Clay. Said she wouldn’t be back, so we have the place to ourselves.”

My heart is in my throat. I’ve been thinking about it for a while. I wonder if he is planning to propose. This seems like something you would do to propose.

“Sit. Let’s eat.”

I do as he says, taking my seat. My mind is running a million miles a minute.

If he asks, will I say yes?

Of course I will. I love him and want to marry him. At the same time, I’m not ready for that step.

“Hey, beautiful. Calm those thoughts. How was work?” he murmurs, kissing the back of my hand.

I take a bite of the perfectly cooked chicken while I think about my answer.

“It was rough, but I like the work. I shadowed a caseworker who had to remove two children today. One of them got into their parents’ coke stash and ended up in the hospital.”

He frowns. “That’s fucked.”

“Yeah. The kids were crying, but so were the parents. It was heartbreaking. The parents seemed remorseful.”

“I don’t understand how they can choose drugs over their kids. I hope they get their lives straight.”

“Me too. What about you? How was your day?”

“Good. Hockey season is officially over. Tomorrow is the passing of the torch. Coach will crown a new captain, and the hockey house will be back up for grabs.”

“Who do you think it will be?” I ask.

“Brett. He’s been Coach’s assistant all year. He’s the best choice,” he tells me.

“Makes sense. How do you feel about that?”

He eats in silence for a minute, and I let him work through his emotions. He’s not perfect. He messes up sometimes, but he is trying, and that is all that matters.

“I’m disappointed it won’t be me. It was what I wanted, but then I realized that maybe it’s for the best. If I’m not the best option, then I don’t want it.”

I nod, understanding what he means.

“If they think you are the best option?” I ask.

He smiles. “I would be grateful for the opportunity and do everything I could to prove they made the right choice.”

We continue to chat as we eat. Once we finish, I smile when he brings out the apple crumble I love from a place down the street. It only has me more nervous.

“Why are you being extra sweet tonight? It feels like you are trying to make it special.”

He swallows hard and nods. “It is. Well, I’m buttering you up at least. I have a question for you, and I’m afraid of the rejection.”

My heart starts racing in my chest.

Oh god. This is it.

“Cora, can I stay here for the summer with you?” He looks down at his lap like he is waiting for the sting.

A laugh bursts out of me, making him look up at me with confusion on his face.

“Oh fuck. I thought you were proposing. Jesus, Kellan. What the hell?”

His eyes change to those of shock.

“I mean, I want to. Don’t get me wrong, but I don’t have the means to get a ring, and I thought you wouldn’t want to this early, so I’ve been holding off, but I mean, yes, it can be that if you want me to. Let me go buy a ring first though. Please?” he rambles.

I shake my head, tears falling from my eyes from the laughter and relief I feel. I want to marry Kellan, but today is not the day.

“Oh god, no. I mean, I want to marry you too. One day, but I am way too young to be thinking about marriage. My life is a mess right now. Fuck, that wasn’t what I was expecting.”

“So no to getting married, but does that mean I can’t stay with you? I don’t want to be hours away from you all summer, and getting an apartment makes no sense when I will be in the dorm in September.”

“Oh, you sweet adorable man.” I get out of my seat, straddling his lap. “Yes, you can stay here with me for as long as you want. To be clear, that wasn’t a no on the marriage thing. It was a not right now.”

He nods. “I got that. Can I kiss you now? I feel like I embarrassed the hell out of myself.”

I don’t answer him. Instead, I take his lips with mine. The kiss starts off innocent enough, but when I start grinding, he unbuttons my pants and sticks his hand in them. As he circles my clit, I moan.

“Hotshot, take them off.”

He helps me stand, stripping me of my clothes. When he goes to stand too, I shake my head.

“I’ve always wanted to fuck someone with their clothes on. Makes it seem more taboo,” I tell him, taking his cock out of his pants.

His breathing grows quicker as I stroke him until I’m certain he is as lustful as I am.

Then I position myself over him, sliding down his length in one go.

He halts my hips, hissing. “Condom.”

I smile at him. “Birth control. I’m not ready to take a major step, but I am ready to take the next step with you.”

That was all he needed to hear. He grips my hips, helping me set a steady pace as I fuck him into the chair.

My orgasm hits me first, his name falling from my lips.

The feeling of warmth fills me as he shoots his load.

He holds me in his arms as my breathing slows back down. Then he slaps my ass once.

“Hold on, beautiful. I’m not done with you yet.”

He picks me up, carrying me to my room.

We don’t leave it for the rest of the night.

* * *

Everything is right in my world.

We won the championship. Cora is sleeping by my side more nights than she is not. She even agreed to let me stay the summer with her. The guys and I are on good terms. Grace is slowly becoming my best friend again. Well, outside of Cora, that is. Wyatt and I have gotten close as well. I confide in him more than any of the other guys.

On top of all of that, my anxiety is under control. Or as under control as it can be. It’s weird how something can affect you so much without you even realizing it. It’s taken months, but I’m slowly figuring it out and what works for me. With the help of my family, Cora, and my doctors, we decided to avoid medications and only go that route if I couldn’t manage it other ways. Now I have a whole regimen of relaxation techniques that I use daily to keep my stress levels down. It’s been trial and error for sure, and while I have had an attack here and there, nothing as bad as the night on the ice.

It’s something that I’ll always have to live with, but knowing what triggers to avoid and what to do if it happens helps. For a moment I thought being diagnosed with anxiety would be a death sentence for my career, but I’ve learned it’s more common than one would think. It’s something that I can manage all while continuing to do what I love.

My world couldn’t get any better.

“All right, guys. The moment you have all been waiting for. This has been an amazing season, and I have been blessed to be your captain for the last two years. What no one will ever know is that we are a team, yes, but we are also a family. Those who bleed for the family and give every last drop of sweat on their brow will always be part of this family. Ten years down the road, we will still be family. No one can replace the chemistry we had this year. I only hope that you find your own chemistry next year and the year after that. Life is constantly changing, but it’s how you handle the change that determines the person you are. With that being said, we have the votes, and the new captain has been decided.” Clay holds up the envelope, but I know he already knows who it is.

Coach called him into the office before this whole thing to discuss it with him.

“Being a captain is less about the glory and more about what you are willing to do in order to keep your guys on the right track. At times, you are like a father to your peers, offering the guidance they need to keep themselves on track. Other times, you are a friend who listens to their burdens and helps them through their rough times. Most of the time, you are their coach. You are helping them become the best they can be for themselves and the team. It is a thankless position. Many times, you will be hated for the decisions you make. Others will covet it and want what you have.”

My heart hurts at that statement. I know that I was one of those people.

He continues. “It’s a position that brings great responsibility. One I know this person understands and will do his best to fulfill.”

I look over to Brett and smile at him. He is a coach already. The way he handles the team is amazing. He will be a good leader.

“So with great honor, I pass the torch.” He holds up a literal torch as if it’s the Olympics. “To Kellan Cooper.”

I freeze, not sure I heard him right. This has to be one of my dreams. There is no way he just said my name.

My heart is racing in my chest as I blink my eyes, looking around at the other guys. I’m waiting for the gotcha moment. It doesn’t come, though.

“Kellan, come get the patch, man,” Clay jokes, pulling me out of my stupor.

Everyone is cheering, but it sounds like I’m in a tunnel. Wyatt slaps my shoulder, prompting me to move. I take step after step until I’m at the front of the group.

“Are you sure?” I whisper to Clay as I make it to him.

“Never been more sure. Congrats, man.” He holds the torch out, patting my shoulder with his free hand.

I take the torch, forcing a smile as I wave at everyone. “What if I fuck it up?” I ask under my breath.

He laughs. “I’ll be around to help you unfuck it. You’re not on your own. You have Wyatt and Brett too. Beckett is only a call away. You’re not alone anymore, Kellan.”

The words hit me somewhere deep. I’m not alone anymore. I have Cora, my bright light even when the days get dark. I have Wyatt, the man who has become my closest friend. Then there’s Beckett, Brett, and Clay. They have accepted me into their little family as if I was always meant to be part of it.

It’s everything I wanted. Icing on the cake? I’m now the captain of the team. I’m humbled by how much my life has changed in one short year.

“I’ve never been more glad to have you drafted to Boston. I’m going to be calling,” I warn him.

He laughs. “At first, maybe, but you’ll get the hang of it. I have faith in you.”

Then Coach comes over and shakes my hand.

“I knew you had it in you, kid. Make me proud. Don’t forget to pick your roommates for next year. I want you moved in by August.” He hands me a key.

Not just any key.

The key to the hockey house.

“No excessive celebrations, please. Don’t need a repeat of Woods,” he says, referring to Brett.

I nod as he makes his way out of the rink, leaving me with the team.

I smile and talk to every single one of them. After they are done, Brett, Beckett, Wyatt, and Clay come over to me.

“So have you thought about who you are going to live with?” Brett asks, that megawatt smile on his face.

I laugh. “Don’t worry. Your room is safe. As is Wyatt’s.”

“What about the last room?” Clay asks.

I look around, noting all the players. I know we have incoming freshmen too. I could be nice like Clay and choose one of them, but when my eyes land on the rookie of the season, I know who it will be.

“Calvin,” I call out.

He looks up, shocked, but heads our way.

“Him? Really?” Brett huffs, but I ignore him.

“Yes, Cap?” He looks nervous.

“I want you to move into your new room in the next month. No exceptions,” I demand.

“New room? Dorms don’t open until August, I thought.” He looks adorably confused.

I love it.

“Hockey house is open now, freshman. Show me what you’re going to do to keep your spot as a sophomore.”

“Really?” the kid squeaks.

“Really. Don’t make me regret it.”

“I won’t. Thank you. Thank you so much.”

He runs off, leaving us laughing in his wake.

“Why him?” Clay asks.

I smile. “I see myself in him. He’s made some mistakes this year, but with good influences, he can be great. I want to be part of the story making him great.”

Clay pats my shoulder, pulling the coveted “C” from his pocket before handing it over.

“Told you that you were the right person for the job.”

Holding that letter, I know I might not be, but I will do everything in my power to be the best I can be.