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eighteen

P eyton sings along to the radio as Grace drives. Sitting in the back seat, I stare out the window, watching the world pass by.

I don’t know why but today feels different. I’ve watched Kellan play several times now and cheered for him in the stands, so watching him isn’t new. Every time someone gets a little too close to him, my breath catches. When someone hits him, I can’t help but flinch as if it’s me who has taken the blow.

It’s different than when I’ve worried about Clay. With Kellan, it is like my heart is connected to every movement he makes.

Before I know it, we are pulling into the parking lot of the opposing team’s arena and park. We all get out of the car. Somehow, I find myself sandwiched between Grace and Peyton, our arms all linked together.

“Are you okay, Cora?” Grace asks.

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?”

“You were awfully quiet on the drive over here,” Grace tells me.

“I was waiting for you to spit whatever it is out that’s bothering you,” Peyton adds.

After going through security, we make our way to our seats and sit down.

“So are you going to tell us or not?” Peyton presses.

“I don’t know why but today feels different.” I admit the thoughts I had dwelled on the entire trip.

Grace hums. “Is it a good different or a bad different?”

“Good, I think.”

“Does it have something to do with the guy whose name is plastered across your back?” Peyton asks.

I feel my cheeks heat, and I nod.

“Ah, I get it. It’s okay, you know that, right?” Grace says, nodding as if it makes sense.

“What is?”

“To admit you’re in love with Kellan. That’s what this is about, right?” Grace asks.

As soon as her words hit me, I want to deny it, but I can’t, because it’s true.

I love Kellan Cooper.

“Holy shit,” I mumble to myself.

Peyton laughs.

“How did you know?” I ask Grace.

She shrugs. “It’s obvious to me. You know he loves you too, right?”

“You think so?”

Peyton scoffs. “Please, that boy is head over heels in love with you. Why else would he be making things right with people he’s done wrong?”

“Because he’s a good person?” I offer.

I hadn’t even thought about why he wanted to make amends. All it meant to me was that he was doing the right thing. He is growing.

“Please, that boy wouldn’t have pulled his head out of his ass yet if it wasn’t for you,” Peyton says.

Grace winces. “I hate to admit it, but I think she’s right.”

“You don’t think he would have apologized to you by now if it wasn’t for me?” I fold my arms over my chest.

Grace shakes her head. “No, he would have kept his head buried in the sand, pretending like nothing is wrong. Kellan is one of those guys who has mastered the art of out of sight, out of mind. Don’t get me wrong, he would have come around eventually, but I don’t think it would have been this soon. Besides, he hasn’t actually cleared the air with me yet. He will, though. You will push him to do it in your own way.”

“I don’t push him to do anything.” I take the stairs down to our seats.

“You don’t have to. His love for you is doing it for you. He wants to be who you deserve. I’m not mad about it, Cora. I’m glad he has you,” Grace tells me.

I take a deep breath, turning to her when we get to our seats. “I didn’t want to love him,” I finally admit.

“You never had a chance. Trust me, I get it.” Grace hugs me.

“I do too.” Peyton hugs me from behind.

“Wait, what? Who?” Grace demands.

“Yeah, who are you dating?”

Peyton laughs. “Kidding, guys. I just wanted to be included. Now can we watch these yummy players warm up?”

“Gross, one of them is my brother,” I tell her.

“One of them is your boyfriend too, so hush and watch the man become a sex symbol.”

Players start to take the ice, and I look out, trying to spot him as everyone zips around. When I find Kellan, I can’t help but smile when I see that he’s already looking my way. I watch as he taps Clay and points toward us.

Grace sighs next to me when my brother smiles her way. “I love that man,” she says wistfully.

“Do you think it’s too soon for me to love Kellan?” I blurt out.

“Do you feel like it is?” Peyton questions.

“I…I don’t know.” I chew on my bottom lip as nerves run through me.

I’ve never been in love before. How should I know if I’m doing it right or not?

“Cora, love has no timeline. You can fall hard and fast or soft and slow. It can sneak up on you when you least expect it, or you can know at first glance. The only one whose opinion matters right now is yours and maybe Kellan’s,” Grace tells me.

“You think so?”

Grace nods. “I know so, and for the record, I’m completely on board with you and Kellan loving each other. I know I said it before, but I don’t think you believe me.”

“How could you after what he did to you?”

“Like I’ve said before, he is a good guy, he just wasn’t for me. He’s always felt like family to me, though, and I just assumed it was because we were best friends, but now I think it’s because maybe someday we will be married to siblings,” Grace says.

“Whoa, putting the cart before the horse, aren’t we? Last I checked, neither of those two have put rings on either of your fingers,” Peyton says as she scans our hands.

Grace rolls her eyes. “You knew what I meant.”

“Words have meaning,” Peyton quips, making us laugh.

“Are you feeling better now?” Peyton asks as we fall silent.

“Yeah, I think so. Thanks, you two.”

“Why are you thanking us? We didn’t do anything,” Peyton says.

“I’m thanking you because I’m thankful for our friendship. You two brought me into the fold, no questions asked, when you didn’t have to.”

“Why wouldn’t we have befriended you?” Grace asks.

“We know awesome when we see it, and you, my girl, are awesome. Embrace it,” Peyton tells me.

“Well then, can I ask you a question, Peyton?”

“What’s up?”

“When are you going to start dating someone?” I tease.

Peyton shivers in disgust. “Never.”

“Really? Never? That sounds extreme.” Grace laughs.

“The only thing a man can give me is orgasms, and I don’t even need one for that,” Peyton declares.

“I’ll give you an orgasm, baby.”

We turn and see three guys who look like they are maybe, at most, freshmen in high school sitting behind us and staring at Peyton with interest.

“Boys, while I applaud you for trying, you failed. You look like you wouldn’t even know where the clit is if it jumped up and bit you. Now fuck off and stop eavesdropping. Leave us adults alone.” Peyton rolls her eyes and turns around.

“So if you aren’t interested in dating, then I guess nothing is going on with you and Beckett?”

Peyton tenses for a split second before relaxing. “Beckett and I are friends. If you want to even call us that. More like acquaintances because our friends are dating. That’s where it ends. Nothing less, nothing more, and that’s all we’ll ever be.”

Right…if you ask me, the lady doth protest too much. I wonder what she’s keeping to herself and when she will finally clue all of us in.

* * *

This game is a complete and utter shit show. Not because we are playing badly but because it’s neck and neck. I don’t know what St. Mary’s has done since last year, but they sure as hell have improved. Last year it was like they had never been on skates, but this year they are playing like all the team players are part of the PHL.

Maybe Coach should challenge the school to see their birth certificates.

“This is insane,” Jones mutters as he skates back toward the bench.

I look up at the scoreboard and see that we are still ahead, but it’s close. Too fucking close.

The last thing I want to do is lose when Cora and the girls came all this way. Putting my head down, I skate harder than I have all night.

Clayton is charging down the ice with the puck. He can score as long as no one gets in his way. Out of the corner of my eye, I see a guy going at him from the side.

Holy shit, he’s going to take him out.

Pushing off harder, I skate toward them. Before the guy can nail Clay in the back, I get to him, taking him down right as Clay takes the shot.

The horn blares through the arena, letting me know he made the goal but it was waved off. I lift myself up off the ice as the ref slides up to us. Before he can even say it, I start heading toward the penalty box.

Once inside, I scan the crowd and find Cora. She looks right at me and mouths, are you okay?

I wink at her right as Coach bangs on the safety glass on my other side. I turn toward him and see that he’s glaring at me.

“Pay attention to the game, Cooper. You can flirt with your girlfriend later.”

“Yes, Coach.” I turn back toward the ice.

“Oh, and Cooper. Good job protecting your captain,” he mutters.

Smiling, I look up at the clock and watch it count down. We just have to hold them off for a little longer. Players go whizzing by, heading straight for Wyatt.

“Come on, come on. Block. Block. Fucking block, Scott,” I mutter under my breath.

The player from St. Mary’s pulls his stick back and shoots. The puck takes off like a bullet, heading right for Wyatt. Somehow, by the grace of God, Wyatt blocks the shot, right as the final buzzer sounds.

My fist shoots up into the air. “Yes!”

Leaving the sin bin, I head back to the ice. “Good game,” I say to one of the opposing team’s players.

“Fuck off,” he mutters as he shoulder checks me.

“They are so sweet and kind, aren’t they?” Beckett says as he comes up next to me.

As we skate back to the bench, I find Cora in the crowd again. She shoots me a thumbs-up, and she’s smiling from ear to ear.

God, she’s beautiful. And mine. All fucking mine.

I blow her a kiss, making her cheeks turn pink.

“Come on, man, flirt later,” Beckett says as he elbows me in the ribs.

“Yeah, yeah.”

As a team, we leave the ice and head toward the locker room.

“All right, boys, gather around,” Coach says.

All of us sit down on the benches and give Coach our full attention.

“I don’t know what the hell they did to improve so much from last year, but we definitely underestimated them, and we won’t be doing it again. You boys played well tonight, and we might have snuck by with the win, but we might not be so lucky next time. You should all thank Scott over there for protecting the net,” he says, waving a hand toward Wyatt.

Wyatt tucks his chin against his chest, avoiding the attention, something I’ve noticed he does often. It makes me curious why he plays at the collegiate level if he likes to keep to himself so much.

Coach continues his talk, praising and critiquing some of us, but I tune him out. I’m ready to fall face first into the bed at the hotel and pass out.

Too bad I can’t sneak Cora into my room. I know her, Grace, and Peyton all got a room to share at the same hotel.

Maybe I can keep my eyes open for just a little while and hang out with her in the lobby or out by the pool.

“Are you coming out with us tonight, Cooper?” Beckett asks when Coach walks away.

“Huh?”

“Are you coming out with us and the girls?” Beckett says.

Well, shit. It looks like Cora already has plans. I want to go wherever she is, but I don’t know if I should. While things are better with Clay and Grace, they aren’t perfect, and I don’t want to make anyone’s night weird.

“I don’t know…”

“You should come,” Clay says.

Turning, I look at him. “Are you sure?”

“Cooper, your girlfriend is going to be there. It’s kind of expected that you will be too, and if you’re worried about it being weird, it won’t be. Not unless you make it that way,” he tells me.

Thinking it over, it does sound nice. A night out with Cora and our friends, celebrating a win? That’s all I’ve ever wanted.

“Are you sure that Cora’s going?”

Clay nods. “Positive. The girls have all headed back to the hotel to get ready.”

I look over at Wyatt and see that he’s already looking at me.

“Are you going?”

“I’m taking Brett back to his room, but I’ll stop by after,” he says without missing a beat.

“All right then, sure.”

“Cool. Let’s get cleaned up and get out of here.” Clay stands.

I lean down to untie my skates when I feel his hand come down on my shoulder.

“Oh, and Cooper. Thanks for having my back out there. Literally,” Clay says.

“Yeah, no problem, man. It was nothing, don’t mention it.”

Shaking his head, Clay walks away.

I feel eyes on me, so I look over and see that Wyatt is staring at me. “What?”

“You having his back was something, and we all know it. Don’t downplay it.”

Ducking my head, I mutter, “Hurry up and get undressed so we can get out of here.”

He’s not wrong, though. Last year I would have let that dude take Clay down. I wouldn’t have done a thing to stop it. This year, though, things are different.

How’s that for growth?