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twenty-four

T hanksgiving is coming up, and I think I’m going to tell my mom and Clay what I’ve decided about school. I don’t want to do it alone, though. I’m all kinds of nervous.

What if it goes wrong? Or they refuse to let me?

I don’t like arguing with them. I’m more of the passive sibling. Roll with the punches and do whatever I can to make their life easier.

It has me all kinds of fidgety. So much so that Kellan has taken note.

“Are you worried Peyton is going to come back? I thought she had to work tonight,” he asks as he lies naked in my bed with me lying on his chest.

“What do you mean?” I ask.

“You’re tense, which you shouldn’t be after the way I made you scream,” he tells me.

I laugh. “You’re ridiculous. I was thinking about Thanksgiving.”

“Oh. Is it a stressful time for you?” he asks.

I shake my head against his chest. “It’s not that.”

“You could come home with me if you want. I always spend it with my parents. Being an only child, they tend to make way too much food and invite all the extended family members and the neighbors. On second thought, you shouldn’t come. My cousin Ray will hit on you the entire night, and then I’ll have to knock his front teeth out again.” He strokes his hands through my hair.

“Again?” I ask.

“Oh yeah. Sophomore year, Grace came to dinner with her mom. The entire day Ray followed her around like he was a puppy dog. He kept flirting with her and trying to get her to go outside to the old treehouse with him. She kept refusing. I told him to cut it out, but he wouldn’t listen. After dinner, Grace and I were out back on the swing set when he came up and tried to lift up her dress. I decked him without thinking about it. Knocked his two front teeth out. His mom was pissed. So was mine until I explained why I did it. So yeah, Ray is an asshole.” He chuckles.

“He deserved it. I’m glad you’d bust some teeth in my honor,” I tell him.

“I’d do more than that for you, beautiful. Grace was my best friend, but you are so much more.”

Every time he says something like that, it makes me feel like I’m a queen. Somehow I was able to get this man to love me so much that he would do anything for me.

“I wish I could, but I need to go home. My mom doesn’t get a lot of time off. She always works over the holidays. Since Clay is spending Thanksgiving at home with Grace and then taking Grace to her family home for Christmas, Mom asked me if it was okay if she worked over Christmas. If I don’t go, I won’t see her for any of the holidays,” I admit.

“I understand. Navigating family dynamics can be difficult. Do you want to come home with me for Christmas?” he asks.

My heart races at the thought. I know we’ve made plans about what our future could look like together, but going home for the holidays is different. It makes it all real.

I move so I can look up at him. “You think we will still be together at Christmas?”

He flips me over, kissing me senseless. After I’m breathless, he finally pulls back.

“We will be together this Christmas.” He kisses my nose. “Next Christmas.” He kisses one eye. “The Christmas after that.” The other eye. “And the one after that.” Then he kisses my lips deeply before pulling back. “Every Christmas until the last breath I take.”

“Point taken.”

I sound so breathless, and I love it. I love that he can make me feel this way.

“Why don’t you want to go home for Thanksgiving?” he asks, boxing me in with his arms, resting some of his weight on top of me.

I love the feeling. As if we couldn’t get any closer than we possibly are.

“I want to tell them about quitting school. I know it won’t be until May, but I want to tell them sooner rather than later and to their faces. I don’t know when I will have another opportunity to do it. So I know I need to go home, but part of me wants to hide here under the covers and cover my ears. Pretend the world doesn’t exist for a while.”

“If you wanted, I would stay here with you and we could do that. Shut out the world for a little while. It wouldn’t solve anything, though.” He kisses my cheek. “When we pray for patience, God puts us in situations to help build our patience. When we pray for strength, God gives us strength by testing it first. Burying your head in the sand will only leave you stuck. It won’t make the problem go away. Trust me, I know from experience.”

“You’re so wise.”

“Only because I have fucked up so many times to gain experience. I don’t recommend it. I know it will be hard, but I have faith in you, beautiful. You will survive. If it goes too badly, you call me. I will drive down to get you.”

“Even if you’re in the middle of knocking Ray’s teeth out?” I tease.

“Especially then. Mom will tan my hide if I do that again. Without you or Grace there to rely on, she will think it was all me.”

I smile at him. “I wish you could come with me. My mom would love you.”

He cringes. “Are you sure about that? I’m not known for being someone parents like.”

“Well, she already knows how much I like you, and she trusts my judgment. Plus Grace will be there too.”

“That might make it worse. Doesn’t she know what I did last year? Didn’t Clay tell her?”

I snort. “Clay does not talk to my mom about that stuff. When he calls, it’s all about her. He has made an art out of strategically avoiding any personal questions with her. He worries about her.”

“You would really want me there?” he asks.

I nod. “Maybe next year. We have a lifetime of them, right?”

He kisses me. “A whole lifetime of awkward holiday dinners with family. I promise.”

It’s a promise I’ll hold on to because I want that.

I want him.

Forever.

* * *

The conversation with Cora has been nagging me all night. After staying over at her place, I knew that I wanted to do whatever I could to ease her worries.

So I called my mom.

“Hey, baby. You’re calling awfully early. Is something wrong?”

There’s something about hearing your mom’s voice that can bring you back to being seven years old again. I want to confide everything in her.

“I met someone,” I admit.

“Oh, that’s lovely.” Her tone says she’s not engaged in the conversation.

I don’t blame her. She’s gotten this call many times. This is different, though.

“Not like the others, Mom. I think this one is the one.”

“Big words. Are you sure you mean them?”

The statement hits me where she meant it. Do I really mean it?

I do.

“She’s been helping me get over my shit and grow up. I talked to Grace and Clay. Cleared the air. I think we are even friends.”

If it weren’t for the sound of the TV playing in the background, I would think the call dropped with how quiet she is as what I said sinks in.

“Wow. That is some growth. It’s all because of this girl?” Mom asks.

“No. That wouldn’t be fair to say. I think that I was getting there on my own before I met her. She helped speed up the process. Gave me a reason to stop moping around and get back on track.”

“You do sound happier. If everything is going well, why are you calling me now? Not that I don’t love you, but you have only ever called when you needed something since you left.”

Fuck. She’s not wrong. Just another way I’m a selfish asshole.

“I’m so sorry, Mom. I need to be a better son. You’re the best mom a guy could ask for, and I don’t appreciate you nearly enough. I’m going to start calling more,” I tell her, rubbing my hand down my face.

What started as a call to help ease Cora’s worries made me realize there are still more people who deserve an apology.

“Oh, stop it. That’s not what I meant. You’re a young man. You have hockey and school. It’s part of being a college kid to run off and enjoy yourself. I’m not bothered by it.”

“You should be,” I groan. “I have been such a selfish jerk. I wish you had called me out on it more.”

“It wouldn’t have stopped the Grace situation,” she tells me.

It’s true, but thinking back, I wonder if it would have helped at all.

“It doesn’t matter now, but I’m sorry, and the next time I see you, I will give you an apology to your face.”

“You really don’t need to,” she insists.

“Of course not, but I will. To Dad too.”

“Well then, I can’t wait to see this new and improved Kellan at Thanksgiving. Seems like he is growing into quite the young man.”

“Actually, that was why I was calling. Would you be upset if I skipped Thanksgiving this year?” I wince as the words come out of my mouth.

“Is it because of this girl?” she asks.

“I know I said this with Grace, but I really mean it with her. I’m in love with her. I think about her all the time. When she’s not with me, all I do is count down the minutes until I get to see her again. Then when I do, I feel like my whole world is right again. I have never felt this way before.”

“It sure does sound like something special. You want to go with her I suppose?”

“I invited her home with us, but she has something she wants to talk about with her mom and brother, but she doesn’t want to face it alone. She didn’t ask me to go home with her, but I feel I need to be there for her. She shouldn’t have to ask me to be the rock she needs. I should just do it because I love her.”

Mom chuckles. “Yeah, that sounds like love. Do I at least get to know the name of the girl who is taking my little boy away for the holiday?”

I smile. “Cora. Cora James.”

“James? Isn’t that Grace’s new boyfriend’s last name?” Mom hums.

“It’s his sister, and before you say anything, I didn’t know that when we started dating.”

“My sweet boy. You really got yourself into something there, huh? Well, you don’t need my blessing to skip Thanksgiving. You are an adult, but you have it anyway. I’ll let your father know. He will be bummed, but he will get it. He was young and in love once too. I want to meet this girl that changed your life.”

“You will. I invited her to come for Christmas. Hope you don’t mind the extra guest,” I joke.

“Really? Her family won’t mind?” Mom asks.

“Clay will be with Grace, and her mom is working. She was planning to be at home alone, so I told her we had room for her.”

“Perfect. Does she like to bake? Cook? We can bond while we make Christmas goodies. Oh, I need a list of what she likes. Anything she wants and needs. I need to put her on the Christmas shopping list. Oh, do you think she will do the matching pajamas with us? She can be on the Christmas card with us this year. This is so wonderful.”

“Mom, breathe. I will ask her about all of that and report back.”

“Please do. Oh, I have so many plans to make. You enjoy Thanksgiving with her and treat her right. If she’s the one, then you don’t want to lose her.”

“I don’t plan to.”

“Love you, Kellan. I’m proud of you.”

“Thanks, Mom. Love you too.”

Hanging up the phone, I look at the clock. I still have fifteen minutes before I have to be at practice.

Hustling out of the dorm, I throw my bag in my truck, only one destination in mind. When I left Cora, she was sleeping soundly this morning. I didn’t want to disturb her, so I kissed her softly and made my way back to my own dorm.

I don’t want to wait to tell her the good news.

Leaving my truck in a no-parking zone, I take the risk and run up to the door. Thankfully someone is coming out, holding the door open so I don’t have to buzz up.

When I get to her door, I knock softly.

She grumbles, opening the door, looking sexy as hell in a pair of sleep shorts and my discarded T-shirt from the night before.

I love losing all my clothes to this girl.

“Did you forget something?” she mumbles in her sleep state.

“Yes. This.”

I kiss her deeply, making her grip me as I pull her as close as I can. When I pull back, she looks a bit more awake but still dazed.

“I haven’t brushed my teeth. That was gross,” she tells me.

“I don’t care.” I kiss her again, making her giggle. “I’m coming to Thanksgiving with you.”

Her eyes widen. “Excuse me?”

“You heard right. I’m coming to your mom’s for Thanksgiving. Cleared it with my mom and all. She’s excited to meet you at Christmas and has a bunch of questions for you. I’m going to be late now, but I wanted to tell you.”

Her eyes are glistening as she hugs me tightly. “Thank you. I love you.”

“I love you too, beautiful.”

Way more than she could ever know.