Page 13

twelve

A n incessant ringing is pulling me from my deep slumber. I jolt awake when I realize it’s my phone.

Looking at the screen, my heart clenches when I see Kellan’s name. “What’s wrong?” I hiss into the phone.

“Beautiful, are you awake?” He sounds a bit inebriated.

My stomach clenches at what he might have been up to in order to get so drunk. I have to trust him, though, so I choose to do so.

“I am now. Where are you?”

He laughs. “Walking home. It’s such a nice night. Isn’t it a nice night, Wyatt?”

“Bro, you are practically screaming. Chill out,” I hear Wyatt tell him.

“You’re with Wyatt?” I ask.

Surely he doesn’t mean my Wyatt, right? The one who threatened to turn him into fish food.

“Yep. He agreed to walk me home like a gentleman. Isn’t that sweet of him? Wyatt is all quiet and stoic.” Kellan lowers his tone to a whisper-shout. “Don’t tell him I said this, but underneath is he a big old gummy bear.”

“I think the term you are looking for is teddy bear,” I hear Wyatt provide in the background.

“Oh yes. Teddy bear.”

I smile at his antics. He is adorable when he is drunk.

Then it hits me.

He drunk-dialed me. That means that out of everyone, he wanted to talk to me.

“Well, Wyatt is the nicest of the bunch. Easily my favorite friend of my brother’s,” I admit.

“Thanks, Cora. That means a lot,” Wyatt calls out.

“Am I on speaker?” I cringe.

“Well, no, but I am half carrying him, so yeah, I can hear everything. Maybe don’t say anything to scar me,” he admits.

“Oh, so no telling Kellan how I want him to bend me over a table and…”

“Cora, whatever your middle name is…don’t you dare let him hear the things you want me to do to you. That is private between us,” Kellan hisses, making me laugh.

“Well, it seems like he won’t let me scare you anyway,” I tell Wyatt.

“Pretty much. Hold on. I’m getting him into his room now.”

I hear some commotion. Then it’s quiet. After a minute, there is a scratching noise on the phone.

“He’s in bed. Here he is,” Wyatt tells me. “Don’t say anything stupid,” he says farther away, obviously talking to Kellan.

“Never. Cora is my beautiful girl. Isn’t that right?” he mumbles into the phone.

“Bye, Cora,” Wyatt yells, and then it’s me and Kellan.

“Why did you get so drunk?” I ask.

“Your brother made me go to the karaoke bar with them. It was fun. I love those guys. I hate that I missed all last year with them because I couldn’t get my head out of my ass. Even if you decide you deserve better, which you do, please don’t take them from me,” he mumbles.

My heart aches at the insecurity in his voice.

“Oh, Kellan. I’m not the kind of girl to make them choose sides, but that’s not going to happen. We are giving this a real shot, remember?” I remind him.

“I know, but every time I think about you, I get all tingly and warm and stuff. Then I think about the fact that I am such a fuck-up that you deserve way better than me and it feels like an elephant has sat on my chest. It’s a cycle I can’t seem to stop. Don’t leave me. I promise I will do whatever I can to make you happy. You want my hoodies? They are all yours.”

“Hoodies? Why would I want those?” I ask, confused why that’s his answer.

“Girls like to steal hoodies. I always hide mine because I like my hoodies, but you can have them.”

Well shit, now I feel oddly touched.

“Well, thank you. That seems like a high honor. Maybe we can discuss you giving me your clothes when you are sober?”

“Okay. I miss you. I wish you were here. I know we are taking it slow, but I would cuddle the hell out of you.”

That has me giggling. He is adorable when drunk.

“I bet you would,” I tell him.

He sighs. “I can’t wait to be the big spoon and hold you against me all night.”

“Me neither.”

“The day I met you, I was so depressed. I feel like you are an anchor for me. You keep me grounded. Do you believe in fate? I think you are my fate.” His voice is a little more mumbly.

I think he is falling asleep.

“I do. I think that everything happens for a reason, and sometimes we aren’t meant to understand the reason.”

“Me too. I had to go through my dark year to see the light this year. Without it, I wouldn’t have been able to appreciate you. I appreciate you so much. You’re so pretty. Sometimes I wonder if I’m dreaming when I look at you. How could someone be so beautiful? That’s why I gave you that name. You truly are the meaning of beauty. You know that, right?”

I only catch every third word of his ramble through the muffled sound of the phone being on the pillow, but I get the gist of it. It has my heart racing. He’s talking a bunch of nonsense because he is drunk, but could it be the truth? What’s that saying? Drunk words are sober thoughts? Does he even know he is talking to me anymore?

“I didn’t know you wrote poetry, hotshot.”

“I don’t. I love when you call me that, though. I know you meant it as an insult, but it makes me feel all gooey inside. Do you like me, Cora?”

His breathing is starting to get deeper. He won’t be awake much longer.

“I do, Kellan. A lot.”

“I like you too. So much. I want to marry you one day. You’ll be my wife, and I’ll teach our kids how to ice skate. I’ll teach you too. You’ll be the best ice skater there is. We will have the perfect little family.”

My eyes prick with tears at his words. I know how to skate, but that’s not important right now. Everything else he said is. He painted the perfect picture for me, one that I desperately want. It takes me a minute to be able to collect myself to speak to him again.

“I hope you do,” I breathe into the phone, only he doesn’t respond. Instead, I hear steady snores as he settles into a deep sleep.

I must be a fool because I sit there for at least an hour listening to them. When I finally settle back down to go to bed, my dreams are filled with him and the family we will have.

* * *

Meeting the guys at the rink this morning while being hungover wasn’t the most fun I have ever had, but it didn’t suck. It felt good to hang out with them again outside of practice. I feel like I’m back on track to the experience I hoped I would have last year.

Now showered, I’m standing outside of Cora’s dorm building debating whether or not I want to call and wake her up. I still feel bad that I called and rambled into her ear last night. I have no clue what I even said. I hope it wasn’t anything bad.

The door opens, and I wince when I see Monica step out. She keeps walking, but then stops in shock when she sees me.

“Are you here to apologize? It’s a year too late.”

I shake my head. “Nope. Waiting for someone.”

She scoffs, “Of course you’re dating someone in my dorm. Hope she knows what a lying snake you are. Whatever, I don’t need to waste any more time on you.” She tosses her hair over her shoulder, stomping away.

I really should probably apologize to her, but now doesn’t seem like a good time.

I need to make a list of people to make amends to. It seems my list keeps growing.

The door opens once more, and my heart skips a beat. Cora steps out in a sweatshirt and jeans, looking like an angel. I swear the light reflects around her the right way to showcase how beautiful she is.

You truly are the meaning of beauty.

I cringe as the drunken words come back. I mean they are true, but I’m sure I sounded like a sap. God, will she even want to talk to me?

“What are you doing here?” she asks with a smile.

“Waiting for you.”

She nods. “Your hair is still wet.”

“Took a shower after an impromptu practice with your brother and the guys.”

“Interesting.” She looks me up and down. “Is that the hoodie you’re going to give me?”

I frown, looking down at it. It’s nothing special. Doesn’t even have my name on it. Just the team’s logo.

“If you want it.” I start to pull it off, but she laughs, stopping me.

“I’m kidding. I assume you don’t remember much about last night?” she asks.

I shake my head. “I am afraid to say that after the fourth shot Brett convinced me to take, everything became a little blurry.”

“Not surprised. I am surprised my brother let you guys drink. Don’t you have a no-drinking policy during the season?”

“Usually,” I tell her. “But Brett made a case for team building. I think he didn’t want to drink alone since he’s the only one who can’t get on the ice.”

“Poor Brett. It must be hard.” She steps closer to me, wrapping her arms around me, hugging me to her.

I let my arms circle around her back. “I can’t imagine how he feels.”

“Same,” she mumbles. “You’re so warm.”

“So you really do want my hoodie then?” I joke.

She smiles up at me. “Well, it is a sacred honor, I’m told.”

I shake my head. “Do you want this one? Or the one with my name and number on it? Won’t lie, I would love to see you with my name right here.” I trace my finger along her back.

“Caveman. Lucky for you, I am here for it. Gimme.” She smirks up at me.

“It’s yours. I’ll get it later for you. Right now, I have to ask you something.”

“Shoot.”

“Will you go to the hockey house with me today? The guys are making breakfast and then spending the day hanging out. The girls will be there too. I know you could go without me anyway, but I would like you to go with me as my date.” I press my forehead to hers, waiting for her answer.

She doesn’t disappoint me. “Of course. Anything for the hoodie.” She winks at me as she steps back.

I open the passenger door to my truck, helping her inside. The drive is a short one. We both are content listening to the radio.

Once we get there, I help Cora out of her side, but then freeze. I wring my hands together as I start to feel hot. I should give her my hoodie because at this point, I don’t need it even in the brisk fall air. My stomach is churning as I look up at the house that I have not stepped foot in since last year. My whole body seems to be vibrating.

Then I feel it.

Cora slips her hand in mine, stopping my hands from pulling on one another. I look down at her, wondering what is happening to me.

“It’s okay, Kel. I’ve got you. Let’s go inside,” she coaxes me.

Her voice helps calm me further. At least enough to lead me toward the front door. Once there, she knocks, looking up at me with a reassuring smile.

The door opens, and Beckett nods.

“Good, I was wondering what was taking you two so long. Breakfast will be ready in five minutes. Come on in.”

Cora pulls me inside to the living room. Brett is on the couch looking dejected and hungover while Peyton is sitting in one of the chairs. She perks up when she sees Cora.

“You came. I was wondering if you would since you were still sleeping when I left,” she tells Cora.

“I had a late night.” Cora gives me a look, making me smile.

“I heard you two talking.” She gives me a sly look. “Anyway. Grace is in the kitchen with Clay. Come, she wants to see you.”

Peyton pulls Cora, who gives me an apologetic look, toward the kitchen.

I take the seat next to Brett.

“How do you look so chipper?” he mumbles. “You drank as much as me.”

Wyatt walks into the room, chuckling. “He threw up once on the walk home and then twice more at the rink this morning. Don’t think he has anything in his body anymore.”

I glare at him. “I was being a good teammate. Bonding with my friend here.” I pat Brett’s shoulder.

“Thanks for the solidarity, but next time let’s not. Fuck, I’m gonna be sick.”

He tries to stand but struggles. Wyatt and I jump into action, getting him into the bathroom quickly before he spews everywhere. When we step out, closing the door behind him, Wyatt claps my shoulder.

“Glad you came, man. You belong here too.”

I wince at the sound of Brett retching. “Thanks.”

“Breakfast is ready,” Clay calls out.

“Let’s go before you start dry heaving from listening to him,” Wyatt says as he points toward the bathroom door.

I follow Wyatt to the kitchen where they have set out plates for everyone. The table is small, so we all opt to eat in the living room. I fill up my plate last, not wanting to take too much. As I watch them move around one another, they seem like a family. They joke and rib one another as they make their plates, each migrating to the other room.

When I finally make it in there, I see Clay sitting with Grace in his lap. For the first time, it doesn’t even faze me. Moving to where Cora is sitting on the couch, I settle on the floor, resting my head on her knee.

“You can sit here,” she tells me.

“I’m happy where I am, but thank you.” I smile up at her.

The sound of Brett’s retching comes down the hall, making me frown. “Should someone check on him?”

Beckett shakes his head. “Nah, he will be fine.”

I let it go because they know him better than I do. The conversation flows as we eat. After breakfast, the girls wave us off as they head to the kitchen to chat and clean up. I guess the guys cooked, so the girls cleaned. It’s a rule they have.

I offer to help as well, but Cora tells me to stay with the guys. Even Grace gives me a friendly smile, shaking her head no.

“Want to play some video games?” Clay asks.

“Oooh, old-school video game party?” Beckett asks, looking like a little kid despite his hangover.

“Yep. Go get your screens.”

The guys all move, so I stay in the living room with Wyatt as he sets up the gaming system there. “What’s happening?”

He looks over at me. “This is my system, so I don’t have to grab anything. The guys will all go get their TVs and systems and meet down here. You can play as the second on my system. We all play the same game online. Sometimes we play on the same team, while others we play on opposite teams.”

“That sounds interesting.”

He nods, tossing me a controller. “It is. Do you have a login for this system?”

I nod, typing it in. He adds me as a second player and loads up the game. I’m grateful it’s one I’ve played before. I don’t have a lot of time to play video games, so I will likely suck. Between hockey and Grace, I never played much in high school. I never had the time. It has me worried what the guys will think, but I swallow back the worry.

Fuck, I hate being bad at anything.

It doesn’t take long for the rest of the guys to get set up, and before I know it, we are playing. At some point, the girls come back and start talking. Cora takes her place on the couch behind me once more and starts running her hands through my hair. It feels so good.

I am not very good, but none of the guys say anything. They all joke around but never make me feel bad for being the obvious worst player.

When Brett finally emerges from the bathroom, I stand, handing him my controller.

“Take over for me. I’m going to get a drink.” Looking at Cora, I ask her, “You need anything?”

“Nope,” she murmurs, a look in her eye I can’t describe.

I pick up her hand, kissing the back of it before heading into the kitchen. When I close the fridge, I jump when Wyatt is standing there.

“Dude, make some noise or something.”

He shakes his head. “Nah, more fun this way.”

I step out of his way. “Give a man a heart attack.”

“You look at her differently than you did Grace.”

I feel my eyes widen. “What do you mean?”

“Cora, you look at her like the sun rises and sets with her. You never looked at Grace like that.”

I mean, I’m glad he noticed the difference, but at the same time, why was he watching me? How did I miss him watching me?

I nod. “I know. I made a mistake thinking Grace was more to me than a friend.”

“Good. Glad you admit it. You need to make that clear to her and to Clay. It’s time for you to put the water under the bridge and leave that shit behind.”

“When did you become a guru and all that?”

He shakes his head. “I didn’t, but I don’t like seeing Grace hurting. She misses having you as her friend. Clay is struggling to hold the team together with the douchebag while he is also still worried about what a wild card you will be. Then there’s Cora. She deserves to be able to hang out with her family without worrying about what it will do to you. Make it right.”

With that, he heads back into the living room, and I’m left realizing I need to get on that list of amends sooner rather than later.

My future depends on it.