Page 45 of Brainwashed

I’m mesmerized.

This man… He’s not afraid of me, or angry at my existence because I’m an evil monster who’s done treacherous things. In fact, he barely even seems to register any of that, and I can’t tell if it’s a game, an act to get me to drop my guard, or if he’s genuinely just here to do a job.

But the most captivating thing about it is how desperately I’m craving his attention already.

Gulping down all these vast insecurities, I murmur, “Nice to… meet you, Dr. Love. I’m Felix.”

And my hand slides into his. He grips it, squeezing and shaking subtly.

I can’t even comprehend how my body is reacting to touching him. It feels like I’m onfire. Sizzling electricity singeing my blood, burning me from the inside out. I haven’t touched another person in so long, but I’m not even sure that’s the only reason for this reaction.

And his hand is sowide. Rugged, but still soft enough for me to imagine how it might feel in other places…

“I know who you are,” Dr. Love tells me, that voice like velvet. It almost knocks me over.

Just as my fingertips are sneaking toward his wrist, he lets go of my hand and steps back, returning to the file on his desk.

“And yes, I am here to study you,” he adds blankly.

He doesn’t speak another word after that.

Ten minutes of me fidgeting in silence later, Joy returns, knocking once on the door before bursting inside. “Ready to go, killer bee?”

I can’t help the look I give her. I’m not sure about the nickname, but she seems to love it.

She chuckles, coming to where my ass is still propped on Dr. Love’s desk, snapping the shackles around my ankles. But when she goes for my wrists, she notices the book I’m gripping for dear life, and lifts her brows. At me first, then Dr. Love.

He’s not paying attention, of course, so she clears her throat, loudly. He looks up, slow and unenthused.

“I’m not sure if you know this,Doctor, but patients in the East aren’t allowed any contraband whatsoever.” She narrows her gaze at him suspiciously.

“Felix wants that book,” Dr. Love says robotically. No emotion, nothing for argument’s sake. He’s simply stating a fact.

“I don’t care what hewants,” Joy growls.

Dr. Love folds his arms over his chest and cocks his head. “Are we going to keep butting heads, Officer? Really… You’re making my job rather difficult, and I’ve only been here one day.”

Joy mumbles under her breath, “I’ll give you difficult, you mother…”

She snatches the book out of my hands, tucking it under her arm while she fastens my cuffs. Then she hands me the book to hold, dragging me out of the office with only one last lingering glance shot at my new doctor. She’s obviously pissed, storming up the hall, not really waiting for me to follow her, but then turning around to barkhurry up, inmateat me.

“Fucking doctors.” She huffs while shoving me inside my cell. She removes my chains and locks the door before stomping off without another word.

And I’m just standing here grinning because I have abookin my hands, and I’m straitjacket-free.

Later that night, the familiar steps and mumbles of Dr. Johansson disrupt my reading time.

I dog-ear the page of my book, stuffing it into my pants, wishing I had somewhere else to hide it. But I’m afraid that if I leave it in this room, it’ll disappear. Johansson has never searched me or anything, so chances are he won’t find it.

Sure enough, he opens the door and Claude comes in first, fastening cuffs around only my wrists, which means they’re just taking me up the hall to the exam room.

Great.I brace myself while they drag me away, wondering what kind of bullshit they have planned for tonight. More mind-altering psychedelics, electrodes, or pain sensitivity—when they hook me up to machines and poke me with needles on various parts of my body.That one was fun…

Inside the exam room, Claude removes my shirt and my pulse speeds up in fear they’ll find my book. But they don’t see it as I’m seated in the exam chair and strapped to it. As usual, Johansson, Figueroa, and Templeton begin hooking me up to things, sticking the electrodes to my temples, then to my chest, I’m guessing to monitor my brain and heart activity.

I yawn, because I’m tired. This is interrupting my sleep.Actually, I would have already fallen asleep, but that book is pretty entertaining.

“Ah, Doctor,” Johansson says, and my eyes fling to the door to find Dr. Love standing at the entrance to the room. “I’m so glad you could join us.”