Page 147 of Brainwashed

But he’s disappeared on me.

Because that’s what they do. They all leave.

They will always leave you, Felix.

The thrill I was feeling about my dreams coming back shrivels up in my state of depression and I lie still, staring at the ceiling for what feels like hours. My back is stiff, and while I would never want to return to solitary, I really miss sleeping in a bed, even that shoddy old cot they had me on.

When I close my eyes, my memories take over and I remember the feeling of him inside me…

The overwhelming burn of pleasure, his body taking control of mine. Nothing haseverfelt so good. And while I can’t believe I’ve spent my entire sexual awakening as a top when I could have been bottoming—feeling the salacious ecstasy of doing something you’re not supposed to—I also sort of love that my first time was with Dr. Love.

I don’t think anyone else could ever even come close to what he does to my body. When he’s near me, it feels like our souls are intertwined; like a swirling combination of want and need so powerful it could spontaneously combust.

He said I’d never felt true sexual satisfaction… And then he gave it to me.

“Typical,” I scoff at the ceiling.

“Talking to yourself?” a familiar deep voice rumbles from just outside my cell and my eyes shoot open. “Why am I not surprised?”

My heart jumps in my chest as I sit up slowly, forcing away the smitten smile at seeing his face again. I fucking missed him.Hard.

“Because I’m a murderer,” I reply snarkily.

His lips quirk, but he smothers it, arching a brow. “You up for another experiment?”

This time, the grin is too persistent.

I couldn’t stop it if I tried.

“This is crazy.”

“And that pleases you?”

“Duh.”

“Felix… Keep up.”

“Sorry.” I scurry along by his side, breathing steadily while we walk through the trees, leaves crunching beneath our feet. My fingers on my left hand thread through the fingers on his right. He glances down at me with a scolding sort of look. “I just think it might help… if we were holding hands.”

“Mhm,” he grunts, seeing right through my ploy, though there’s amusement in his eyes.

It’s true, though. It would make things easier, since our wrists are already cuffed together while we trudge through the woods, toward the elusive Ivory Mansion.That’s the experiment.

Dr. Love showed up at my cell roughly ten minutes ago with very few words. He simply opened the door, snapped a handcuff to his wrist, and the other to mine, then he began dragging me through the halls of the East Wing toward an exit door. And then he brought me outside.

When I asked where we were going, he said, “I’m bringing you to the mansion with me.”

And when I askedwhy, he said, “Field trip.”

That’s all I got, but believe me, it’s more than enough.

He’s bringing me home with him. I can’t even fathom it… But I’m beginning to realize that this man does the opposite of what you think he’s going to do. He’s very confusing, and call mecrazy, but I’m sort of obsessed with it.

Dr. Love is holding a flashlight, using it to light our way, since it’s pitch black out here, and the only nearby lights are coming from the prison, which we’re headed away from. We’ve only been walking for a few minutes, but I can already see the mansion in the distance. The endorphins floating through my system at just beingoutsidefor the first time in like six months are enough to have me bouncing around on cloud nine.

But then also knowing that I get to go inside the mansion we’ve all heard about, but have never actually seen with our own eyes…And I’m being brought in by my sexy doctor boyfriend?

I don’t think I’ve ever been so overjoyed.