Page 146 of Brainwashed

But he’s alive.

My heart races with elation as I step closer to him. He looks up from what he’s doing, his deep golden eyes locking on mine. Their color is familiar…

I notice that he’s been eating something. There’s blood on his mouth, flesh between his teeth.

He was chewing on a rabbit.

I drop down to my knees in the leaves and pine needles, and I dig my fingers into the bloody carcass of the dead animal. I bend to eat its organs, smearing blood on my lips as I rip and tear through its parts.

The fox is gone.

I am the fox.

The snap of a twig causes my head to spring in its direction. It’s me.

I see myself, walking over gradually, carefully. It’s me, but it doesn’t look like me.

He’s taller, and darker. A large, dominating presence. Quiet like me, but so much more confident.He’sThe Carver. Not me.

He bends down and takes my chin between his fingers. His face is different.

It’s Dr. Love.

He kisses me softly, and when he pulls back, he has blood on his mouth, too. And then he pulls out a sharp blade and slashes my throat.

I feel no pain.

He crawls on top of me and licks at my wound, sucking and kissing the blood away from where it oozes out of the gash in my throat. He eats my flesh…

He’s the fox now, too.

My eyes flutter open suddenly, adjusting to the darkness. Only a dim stream of light comes from the small window in my cell door. I rub my eyes, rolling onto my back. My hip is stiff from sleeping on it on the floor, my head spinning me dizzy with the flickering images.

The fox, the blood… Dr. Love.

A throbbing between my legs draws my attention to the fact that I’m hard. I let out a soft hum.Wow, what a dream…

I shoot up into a sitting position.

A dream. I had a dream!

“Holy shit,” I gasp through an astonished chuckle. Pressure builds behind my eyes as I bite my lip.

I can’t believe I finally had a dream again. I was sure they were gone forever.

Flopping backward, I gaze up at the ceiling, excitement fizzling through me. My dreams are back. And I think I know why…

I haven’t seen Dr. Love in days. It’s hard to figure out time passing in this place, what with the lack of a schedule and awareness of what’s happening outside these walls. But based on my calculations, I’m venturing into day three of no doctor.

After we watched me losing my butt virginity to him via an ultrasound—one of the strangest, yet hottest experiences of my entire life—he vanished, and I haven’t heard a peep from him since. I could have figured he’d freak out a little. He’s rather skittish regarding his homosexual tendencies.

But still… The way time drags in this place… Each ticking second feels like an eternity without him.He’s become a light in the darkness for me here. The only thing that gives me even the slightest glimmer of hope in this life sentence.

And now I seem to have lost him.

I don’t want to give him all the credit, but I just know Dr. Love is the one responsible for my dreams coming back. It’s all him… His grumbly, mercurial behaviors, mixed with the unexpected affection. He’s actually… sweet. And it’s so baffling to me, it’s jacked my crush up into a full-blown obsession.

He’s all I think about anymore. I eat, sleep, and breathe Dr. Lemuel Love.