Page 216 of Brainwashed

“I feel like I love you,” he says with sated wonder in his tone. “I’ve never been in love before…”

“So I was right?!” I gasp. “When I called you out that time.”

He rolls his eyes, though the smile is persistent on his lips. “Yes, Felix. You were right.”

“Mmm…” I kiss him softly. “That is quite satisfying.”

“Felix…” I think he’s scolding me at first, but when I focus, I find him serious, with wide eyes. “I don’t know how this will turn out, with the two of us. But I just want you to know that you’ll always have me, baby. No matter what happens… You’ve carved your way into my soul.”

My lashes flutter. “That’s why you’re my Want, Lemuel… Because all I want is your love. And I always get what I want.” I grin triumphantly, and he chuckles.

“I know you do, killer bee.”

We get dressed, disheveled, and go around the corner to the locker room to get cleaned up. And then we come back to my new room to spend the evening rolling around in bed together, touching and teasing.

We finish our food and talk, joking and laughing. It feels like we’re in an honest to Godrelationship, and the part that’s so astonishing is that this is the first time I’ve ever had this.

All those men I loved before, they were misshapen pieces of my puzzle; trophies for the part of me that thirsts for blood.

But this man, myrealWant, he quenches me with love, and acceptance. He stands up to The Carver, and pampers Felix Darcey, just like I’ve always needed.

He’s my chaos doctor. Spinning with me, forever.

I’ve managed to coast by on this island for a week before I’m called in to see The Ivory.

I won’t say I’m nervous. I know what I did to get myself back in here.The Warden of Alabaster Penitentiary collects psychopaths the way some people collect stamps.The most disturbing Philately ever.

Also, I have a bone to pick with him, and even though I know he’s impatiently waiting for my delivery, I also don’t exactlycareabout his demands after what he did…

After what he allowed to be done to Felix, knowingly, the second he sent me away.

It didn’t happen by accident. There are no coincidences where Manuel Blanco is concerned. And so part of me wants to leap over his desk the second I get in there and wring his smug neck.

But the other part—the more cunning part—knows that won’t get me anywhere. After all, I need Manuel Blanco… I need to stay on his good side for what I have planned. At least, fornow.

So even though I won’t be bashing his face in today, I may need to bring up a few grievances. Mainly… The East Wingdoctors, and what they did to the love of my life.

I suppose that’s what this whole thing is about… My hatred for Johansson and his team of assholes, my desire to get rid of them. And it’s all because ofhim. My intense, overpowering, downright stupid love for Felix Darcey.

This is no longer just a job for me. I’ve moved into this mansion for good, because I’d rather spend the rest of my days separated from the rest of the world than spend anotherminuteaway from him.

So my next move here is to make this place the optimal living experience for both of us. And the biggest part of that is making sure that nothing like what happened to him when I walked into that room willeverhappen again.

I’m still dealing with rage fits over it. Thank God for the bags in the gym, otherwise I’d be out in the woods punching trees.

Or taking it out on what’s left of Templeton.

But that’s another thing.

Kent was trying to walk me up to the West Wing to meet with Manuel, but I brushed him off. I don’t need a security detail to walk around this place. After all, it’s my primary place of employment now. I’m getting used to thinking of this island as my actualhome, rather than a temporary relocation. And believe it or not, I’m not hating it.

But a lot of that has to do with Felix.

My memories are on the way he looked this morning, pale skin splayed out for my hands to explore in that little twin bed we can barely fit in together in his new cell. Honestly, I like it. I love sleeping tangled up in him…

My beautifully depraved man… My first and my only.

I’m swooning as I ascend the stairs and walk to Manuel Blanco’s office. Knocking three times, I force myself to focus. I’m never exactly sure what’s going to happen when we have these meetings.