Page 209 of Brainwashed

We make our way through the long halls and corridors, using the keys we found in Templeton’s pocket, since Lem had to return his when he left.

Which brings me to ask, “How did you get the Warden to let you come back? He said once you leave, you leave for good…”

“Turns out I just needed to show him I was serious about staying.” His lips curve in knowing amusement, then he peeks down at me, winking.

I’m intrigued as hell, but I don’t ask. I know he’ll tell me if he wants to.There’s still so much for me to learn about him.

That’s the thing about us… We’re not a regular couple. I don’t even know if we’re acoupleat all. But we love each other. I think that’s all that matters. Everything else will happen how it’s going to happen, regardless of where we are or how we do things.

After all, it’s the chaos of the universe…

And we just keep spinning.

Before we get to the East Wing, Lem stops and opens a door. It’s the locker room that the solitary guards use. I remember it from the time Joy let me brush my teeth in here. He brings me inside, gesturing to one of the lockers.

“Your stuff is in there. I moved it before I left,” he says. “Oh, and I added some more things for you.”

Instantly excited, I rush over to check it out. Not only are the showers in here a million times less disgusting than the East Wing showers, but the idea of havingthingsagain has me squirming.

Opening the locker, I find my boxers, plus three new packs. One of them catches my eye and I pull it out, immediately grinning wide.

They’re yellow boxer briefs with bees on them.

Biting my lip, my eyes fling to Lem. He’s standing there all gorgeous and coy and obviously trying to disguise how proud of himself he is. “There are matching socks,” he whispers.

“I’m obsessed with you,” I murmur, fully serious.

Continuing on before I maul him, I find a new toothbrush, toothpaste, floss—thank God—tons of soaps and lotions, fancy smelling shampoos and conditioners from the mansion, Tylenol and a nice, big bottle of lube.

I’m sure my grin could be seen from space as I spin to face him. “Are we breaking this open now?”

His eyes light up. But then he purses his lips. “Not until I have proper bandages on your wrists and food in your stomach.”

The way this man wants to take care of me…It’s such a foreign concept, it’s baffling.

Giving right into him, I show him a look, pleading for his closeness, affection, and attention, which he gives me right away, with no argument. He undresses me while I brush my teeth, checking my wrists. They really do look gross, all raw and blistering.

Lem gets undressed himself and brings me into the shower, and as hard as both of our dicks are, he still manages to remain purely professional. He washes my entire body, then he lets me wash him, allowing me to touch him in places I never have before. Leaning up against the wall, he gazes at me with hooded lids while my fingers slide between his legs.

He tenses when I touch his asshole, but he still releases a shakily nervous breath and whispers, “I love you, Felix.”

My lips drop to the scar on his chest. The one that I made. “I love you so much, Lem.” Touching him slowly, I lick the scar, before moving up to the ones on his throat and kissing those. “I love these spots. Your imperfections… Your battle scars. They’re what makes you human, and that’s what I love. I love your mortality and your survival, Dr. Want.”

He breathes softly, and as much as I don’t want to, I pull my hand away from the place where it wants to go further, running it up his erection, which is standing straight, long inches reaching up past his belly button.

“Baby…” I whimper, attaching myself to him. Sealing our bodies beneath the spray of warm water. “I never want to lose you again, not even for a minute.”

“You won’t, my sweet monster.” He kisses my wet hair. “I’m here to stay, I promise.”

Lifting my head, I gaze at him through the slightly fogged lenses of my glasses. “But why would you give up your life for someone like me? How do you know this could even work??”

“Why wouldn’t it?” He slides hands up my sides, holding my waist.

“I can think of thirty-seven reasons…” I mumble.

His chest moves with a small chuckle before he takes my face and forces me to look up at him. “Accepting you, Felix, is accepting the fact that I’ll forever be in the shadows of thirty-seven other men.”

My heart thuds aggressively. And for the first time,ever, I feel a sliver of regret for what I’ve done.