Page 179 of Brainwashed

A phone rings, and I reach over for my work phone on the nightstand. But it’s blank.

Glancing up, my eyes go to my desk. It must be my regular phone…

I get up and wander over, opening the drawer and picking up my cell phone. It’s Callahan calling. Sighing out loud, I swipe to ignore. I’m not supposed to have contact with people while I’m on this job. It was one of the Warden’s stipulations that I actually took seriously. Mainly because I was using this job as a bit of a vacation from my regular life. And apparently it worked…

I came here and entered into a gay relationship with a murderer. If that isn’t a vacation from reality, then I don’t know what is.

Thinking about Felix makes my chest ache. The sadness in his eyes. The pained breaths that came from him when I was fucking him into the desk… I know he got off, but that isn’t the point. I treated him poorly, and I need to apologize.

Fuck space. Fuck distance. I just need to see him.I need—

My phone starts ringing again. It’s Callahan. Again.Go away, man. I’m busy.

Swiping to ignore once more, I stuff the phone into my pocket. I don’t have time for whatever he wants right now. I need to do something first.

I leave my room quickly, making my way downstairs. Grabbing a few containers of leftover Chinese food, I heat them up, then pack them into a paper bag. And I’m out.

Kent isn’t around, so I hop into one of the SUVs and drive myself back to the prison. And when I get there, I make a beeline straight for Felix’s cell.

When I get there, I find him lying on his stomach on the floor, which looks odd. But then I remember his ass, all red and raw from my belt, and my gut flops out onto the dingy concrete.

Such a piece of garbage.

Swallowing my guilt-laden insecurities, I unlock the door. His face springs up at the sound, and when he sees it’s me, there’s an elaborate mixture of relief, fright, and fury in his gray eyes.

I step inside slowly. “Felix…”

“You seem to forget that I could kill you,” he growls. “And that I’d totally enjoy doing it, too.”

“I know. I know that.” I nod, stepping over to him. “But I also know you won’t.”

His brows lift while he sits up, wincing as he does. “Do you really?”

“Well, notone hundred percent…”

He purses his lips like he’s trying not to smile.

I plop down onto my knees in front of him. “Baby… I’msorry.”

He stares at me in silence for a moment, forehead lined before his gaze falls and he mutters, “Fuck off.”

I reach for his jaw and he flinches. It feels like being stabbed between the ribs. “I’m serious. You didn’t deserve that.”

“No shit,” he sniffs, eyes jumping back up to mine. “What the hell happened to you? You’re like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.”

“I was an asshole.” I run my thumb along his lower lip. “Let me make it up to you.”

He blinks at me. “I’d say hell no, but I smell Chinese food.”

An uncontrollable grin, the kind only Felix is responsible for, pulls at my lips. “Chicken broccoli and shrimp fried rice.”

“Yum,” he whispers.

“Come here.” I stand, helping him up. Then I reach around him, undoing the laces on his straitjacket. He leans his head into me, and my heart freaking swells.

I’m filled with nerves… I still am. I’m confused about what’s happening between us, just like I have been since day one. But it doesn’t change the fact that I don’t think I could walk away from this if I tried.

I don’t know what I’m supposed to do, but for right now, I get him free. Then I take his hand in mine and bring him out of the cell, picking up my bag of food on the way out. And we walk to my office.