Page 167 of Brainwashed

God, my dick is hard.It’s practically poking out of the water.

Lem dunks the sponge into the water, and begins washing me. He starts with my feet, massaging them and cleaning them one at a time. Then he moves up my legs, scooting closer as he goes. He pulls me by my hand until I’m sitting astride his lap, keeping our eyes bound together while he washes in between my legs.

“Uhhmmff…” I mumble, eyes falling shut as he strokes my cock in the water, using the sponge to clean every inch of me. When he brushes it gently over my asshole, I shiver and he hums.

“You like that, don’t you?” His voice vibrates through me, the sponge moving up my back. I nod quickly. “You’re so innocent… So sweet and pure. I want nothing more than to treasure you, love.”

“It feels good,” I whisper while he squeezes the sponge out over my shoulders and chest, letting the warm water run all over me. “Your affection. I trust you.”

His throat dips in a visible swallow and he drops the sponge, using his wet hands now, running them all over my chest and up my neck. He goes for my glasses, but I shake my head, and he doesn’t press it any further. He moves on, which I have to appreciate.

“Ready?” he asks, and I’m not sure what he’s going to do, but I’m ready for all of it.

I nod, and he dips me backward, dunking me upside down so that just my hair goes into the water. Then he pulls me back up, brushing the wet strands back with his fingers.

My heart is galloping. This is so intense. I have no idea what’s going to come from this game, but I love it. I love having his hands all over me, and his huge hard body beneath me. His cock floating with mine in the water, rubbing all over each other. It feels sublime.

Lem swipes at a rose petal from my cheek, eyes stuck on my face like he’s studying every inch of it. Ofme.

Then he pulls me to his mouth and he kisses me tenderly, sucking on my wet lips like he wants to devour every morsel of my flavor. I moan softly, gripping his shoulders while we kiss into a stupor, breathing harsh in between mauling one another’s mouths.

“I want to have you forever, my pet,” he rumbles.

And even though I know this is just part of his experiment, my heart flies inside my chest, sprouting wings and soaring all over the place. Just hearing him say those words is a dream come true…

If only it were real.

“Please… don’t hurt me.” My voice shakes. It replicates the words I’ve heard so many times, from so many men.

But when I say it to Lemuel, I mean it. It turns out Iamafraid of him.

Afraid that when he carves my heart out of my chest, he’ll just throw it away.

“Don’t be afraid.” His gruff voice rings in my ears, bringing me back to my bathtub, in Brooklyn.

I hear myself saying the words, again and again.

Don’t be afraid.

An empty placation. They had every right to be scared. Just like I am now, only in a different sort of way.

Lem’s hand finds its way to my throat, and I take in one last deep breath before he begins to tighten.

I’m not sure how far he’s planning to take this. But I will allow him to squeeze the air out of me, because there’s something so thrilling about having a man’s hand around your throat. About giving up that control… Putting your life in someone’s hands is the ultimate release. It’sserenity. Turns out I enjoy giving it up as much as I crave holding it, something I may never have realized if it wasn’t for Dr. Lemuel Love.

He squeezes harder and my face tightens, our eyes locked. He hovers over me, and before I know what’s happening, I’m lying back in the water, with him on top of me. And he’s squeezing my throat hard enough that my lungs are burning and my eyes are watering.

“You’re supposed to be fighting this, Felix,” he growls in my face. “Like your victims would.”

“I… can’t…” I struggle to breathe.

“Why not?”

“Because I’m not a victim,” I croak. “And I would let you kill me in a heartbeat.”

His grip loosens, brows zipping together. “Do you want to die?”

My head shakes a little. “I don’t care.”