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Cole: January 2025

I took a deep, contented sigh and slowly blinked my eyes open. Astonished by how bright the sun was as it streamed relentlessly into my bedroom. I looked down at the sleeping, beautiful woman who was still curled up next to me. Her hand delicately placed upon my chest. She was an angel to me. I watched her for a few moments, taking my time because I could.

After a few minutes I reached out to where I had left my phone on the black nightstand to the right side of my bed I had ended up on. I was shocked to see the time. I was late for work. How the fuck had I slept that late?

I haven’t needed to set an alarm for the past ten years! My sleeping pattern has been so exact and shitty, it’s the one thing I could depend on. Fuck, fuck, fuck!

I took a few breaths because I did not want to disturb Sundrop as she slept. I reasoned with myself that as the manager, I’m allowed to be late occasionally. It’s not a huge deal. I had never once been late for this job no matter which position I held. One day is not going to get me sacked.

As gently as I could, I pulled myself out of Sundrop’s grasp and got out of bed. I was only in my boxers after the bath we shared last night. I wouldn’t have time to get ready plus I didn’t want to wake her by making too much noise. I could get myself dressed, drive into work and order something in for breakfast. Or fucking lunch at this rate.

I couldn’t believe the fucking time or the fact that I had slept.

It struck me that this was probably because of Sundrop but I wasn’t ready to investigate that thought. What about her had allowed me to sleep soundly for the first time possibly in my adult life? Was that her influence on me? Is this what I could look forward to, an actual partner in crime and a good night's sleep? Could life be better this way?

I stood in the middle of my bedroom feeling like a stranger exposed to the sunlight. A beautiful sleeping woman in my bed, me, well rested and worried about being late to work. Not because I cared about being late, I didn’t give a fuck at all. I knew that was a slippery slope and I needed this disguise. So, I had to make myself care about made up rules like start and finish times at a job where I was liked, respected and paid to be there.

Three deep breaths and then I started to get dressed.

I went to the indoor closet at her side of the room, smiling at myself for even thinking of it like that and opened it up. A suit, a deep grey is what I chose. I thought of my angel’s predisposition to the colour purple and chose a royal looking purple shirt with a deeper shade of grey tie to match. Black shoes. I allowed myself a moment and thought about her putting my tie on for me. Of her straightening it up and fixing my collar. Sending me off to work with a kiss on my cheek and feeling flushed.

Fuck.

Toilet. Teeth brushed. I went back to the bedroom and stopped inside the door, watching her for a moment before walking over slowly. The clipping of my heel against the wooden floor louder than I liked. I bent over her and kissed her forehead. That was already becoming a favourite thing to do. Kissing her forehead. She deserved all the little kisses she wanted. I looked at her, tempted to take a picture but deciding against it. This was day one of us being together. Plenty of time to ask her if it’s ok one time to take a picture of her as she sleeps so I can keep it with me always.

Walking out the room, shutting the door, I walked to the front door of my flat. It was only then I realised that I couldn’t lock her inside all day. She’d have to be able to leave even though I didn’t want her to. There was a spare key on a hook to the right-hand side of my dark grey painted hallway and I picked it up. I placed it down on the table. This was where I always left my keys, including my car keys and anything else I needed to take with me. The table was black and long, tidy to fit against the wall of the slim hallway. There was a shoe rack underneath with my sports trainers I rarely wore but left out in case I decided to go for a run or cycle.

There was a pad of paper there too, a bowl with pens (and random other crap like Lego, some matches, a tealight candle, some spare change) and wrote her a little note;

Angel, here is a key to the flat. This is your key now,

Cole x

It was a split-second decision; zero thought had gone into this but never had anything felt so correct. I knew it was the right decision. Hopefully, if she had any reservations about me or my commitment to her, this would show her how serious I was. I had fucked up a lot. This time was going to be different because I wasn’t actively avoiding her now. I love her and I was going to love her loudly.

I left the flat, locking up and going to my car. I couldn’t believe I had slept in like that. I went to work on autopilot, trying to remember what the fuck had happened in the last 24 hours. So much had happened, from a routine kill to Sundrop finding me, disposing of the body together and cleaning up the kill room. I had then taken her into my own flat, we had bathed together which was one of the most erotic experiences I had ever had without any fucking involved. It was beautiful and I wanted to do it again. Then we slept together. I had fallen asleep on top of her and then later when I had woken up, I had pulled her over to me and cuddled up again. Wrapped around one another we had slept. She was still sleeping and none the wiser of how much she had affected my sleeping pattern… For the better?

I laughed, thinking that I would have to start setting an alarm. I pulled up to the office building, parking and getting out and heading into work.

Opening my phone, I sent off a message to her;

Me: Hey angel, I had to leave for work so I’m sorry I didn’t get a chance to speak to you this morning. I’ve left a note with a key next to the door on the table. When you wake up, let me know and I’ll order you some food, or coffee, both! Xx

I fucking love her. I want to show her how much I love her.

I was renewed with passion and a lust for her and being alive and what life would be with her. I had felt this a few times back when we had started dating in March 2022. Over those few months I’d had some revelations of how amazing life could be with her. I got scared and ran because I didn’t think I could be myself and be with her. The possibilities were fucking endless.

We had the whole world to ourselves, and we’d be happy. If this is what I had been missing out on, no longer would I deny myself her.

Jessica, my secretary, raised a sharply drawn eyebrow as I walked in the front door with no doubt the goofiest fucking smile on my face. “I was about to send out a search party for you, you’re never late” I smiled wider at that. At least I knew I was a dependable person to others; that’s a great thing. I laughed at her, “I’d ask if you had gotten laid, but you’ve been with Marley for months now…” She looked over her gold rimmed glasses at me, and I realised shit… Marley, my actual girlfriend… I would have to sort that out quickly. I’d break up with her today, tell her what had happened. Not the truth but that I was with Sundrop.

What a fucking bomb that would be, but I didn’t care, I was happy for everyone to know. I was proud of my girlfriend, but I also thought maybe before I blow up both our lives, maybe I should speak to Luna first. Maybe. Maybe not.

“Oh yeah, Marley…” Jessica’s mouth widened at my omission, and she put two and two together. “You weren’t with Marley? You were with someone else?!” She was shocked, desperate for gossip and I realised how wonderful this scandal would be. Jessica was my secretary, and she had been here for about a year now. It had been Sundrop who had suggested I needed to fire my best friend, Callum who I had previously given the job to. He had made things at work more difficult. At one point I had considered having sex with Jessica. She had clearly been interested but now, I’m glad I hadn’t been that reckless. Don’t shit where you eat, right? And Jessica was about to be useful to spread this information.

“I was with Luna” I smiled at her. Clipped but wide. I raised my eyebrows at her and her face went from a lack of understanding to plain elation, “Luna?” I walked away then, and went to my office, “A gentleman never tells” is all I said as I laughed to myself, going into my office and shutting the door behind me.

I could hear her shriek of excitement and smiled all the way to my desk, sitting down and knowing I would probably get very little work done today. My mobile was on silent to everyone except Sundrop so I knew that I would be notified when she messaged me. I was glad that everyone else was silenced.

So, the first thing I did was go to the two separate group chats I had with friends. The first group chat was the boys one; me, Frankie, Finlay and Callum. To them I sent a simple message telling them that I spent the night with Luna. That we were officially together whether they supported it or not. I knew they would, eventually. Frankie however, he would have a few negative things to say about someone he used to also be good friends with. He was still best of friends with her ex though, the one I wanted dead. Why Frankie had believed Graham, when he told everyone that Luna was a liar is beyond me.

Sundrop was always the dependable one, no one particularly liked Graham but people chose to believe that Luna was a liar, then believe he was a rapist.

Hmm, that made me wonder, if she had reasoned like me not to murder anyone directly linked to her, no plots of revenge. If so, knowing now she is the Rosemond Ripper and the disgusting violent crimes she has committed. I knew there are a few people who are alive today not knowing how lucky they should feel to have been spared from her wrath.

On that note, I was still in a group chat with Graham, Frankie. Rebecca and a few others. I was never more disgusted by him than after holding her all night. Did he know who and what she was? Was that what he had held over her? She is insane after all. Completely psychotic. There was no question over whether I believed her, that was never a question for me at all. It was always, why did she put up with it especially since she could protect herself?

Refusing to spiral any further, I sent the same message to that chat and exited from the messaging service. Fuck them all, they could deal with it or not. That would be their choice.

Oh shit, I remembered then about Marley and decided that as my girlfriend for the last five or so months, I should at least give her a phone call rather than a text message. I did that, deciding to just end it as quickly and efficiently as possible.

She picked up almost immediately, “Cole. I hear you have something to tell me.” Wow, I was impressed by the speed the rumours had spread amongst all of them. I could hear my phone buzzing away, knowing that those group chats had exploded with messages. Maybe I should turn off the vibration mode too. These were people who perpetually lived on their phones, existing solely for gossip. This was huge for them.

“I do actually,” I pause for a moment, laughing internally at how much attention I’m getting. This is abnormal for a Wednesday morning, it is still morning, isn’t it? I’m glad to know that Luna hasn’t messaged me, I don't want to miss anything she sends me but tying up loose ends is essential for our life together being able to begin.

I haven’t asked her to be my girlfriend yet, but I’ve told everyone that’s what she is to me. Marley is quiet, obviously waiting for me to say the words out loud that someone has already messaged her. This confirmation. I’m bored and just want to order some food, I’m hungry. “I’m not sure what you have heard but I wanted to do the decent thing and make you aware that I spent last night with Luna.” She shouts at me, something unintelligible, a mixture of names, not particularly nice ones I’d guess. “You bastard.” I wait a few moments, letting her finish. “Well, as unfortunate as it is, I am telling you at the first available opportunity. I apologise for hurting you…”

She hangs up on me and saves me from having to try and talk to her. I didn’t give a flying fuck about her to begin with, so talking to her when Sundrop holds my attention is exhausting and I didn’t want to do it. It’s done; there’s nothing else stopping us from being together now.

I order myself some food, I watch as Graham sends me message after message, tries to call me repeatedly. I laugh at him but don’t give him the satisfaction of responding to him, I never will again. After about the fiftieth message and phone call, I blocked his number and made a note of it on my PC for safekeeping and deleted the contact from my phone.

That is quite narcissistic, stalkerish behaviour after all. Evidence I will keep safe in case I need it. However, I have no reason to ever see or speak to him again. I do notice that as soon as he realises he can’t contact me by phone, he starts bombarding my social media accounts with messages. This is very unusual behaviour; it’s almost like he is worried about something.

What he doesn’t know is that these last few years Sundrop and I have been in contact, have dated and talked a hell of a lot. He must think we’ve only recently been back in touch. Considering how long I’ve known her; he was too easily convinced there had been nothing going on between us after they had separated. Of course she’d come back to me, we are home to one another and now more so than ever. Now I understand why. She is my other half. He is on thinner ice by the moment. Graham is not a problem for today. Today is a good day. The very best of days and I will not spoil it by thinking of him.

I also have, as I expected, several messages from Frankie. Do these people not work? They are supposed to be working and yet, seem to have nothing but time to chastise me for my choice in dating. As if anyone can choose who they fall in love with. If it had been a choice, I would have picked to never fall in love.

I set myself up on my PC and try to work. My thoughts drifting between my stomach which feels as if it’s never tasted food of any kind, having been neglected and my angel, who sends me a message. The notification goes off loudly and I smile, instantly happy knowing that she’s there. She’s talking to me, and she wants to speak to me. I abandon everything immediately and open the message.

Luna: Hey, you’re not here

Which has me almost pack myself up and call it a day, heading home to stay there with her forever. Fuck work. But I do need the job, the cover and the money. WE need the money. I just want to take care of her.

Me: I had to go to work, gorgeous

I think she’s going to now bring out simp behaviour in me. It’s what she told me she wanted, and I was desperately holding back. She wanted someone who was unashamedly in love with her, who worshipped the ground she walked on. She deserved that even three years ago when we first had that conversation. Three years, almost, not quite. So, fucking long. I was disappointed in myself. I couldn’t let myself think about it too much though because what could I do? I have her now, she's loved and worshipped and…

Luna: But the bed is empty without you

Fuck me…

I only ever wanted to be in that bed with her.

Me: Would you like me to order you some breakfast to keep you company? I could see you later when I finish?

Luna: Do you want me to go home?

Me: Honestly? No

Luna: Really?

Me: Yeah. What I want is you to be there when I get home

Luna: Yeah?

Me: Yes

Luna: And what would you do with me when you get home?

Me: What happened to taking things slowly?

Luna: I only want to know what you'd like to do to me, not that it’s absolutely happening

Me: You want to know?

Luna: YES

Me: One thing I’ve wanted to do for so long…

Luna: What???

Me: Eat that gorgeous pussy

Luna: ???

Me: Yeah, just like that!

Luna: Nooooooo!! I was just in shock?

Me: Why shock?

Luna: Because no one ever really wants to do that for me and besides, I thought you liked my tits, so I assumed something like that

Me: Babe, I love your fucking tits they are perfect and fucking amazing… but I’ve spent most of my life dreaming of having your thighs wrapped around my head and devouring that fucking pussy

Luna: Oooh

Me: Good ooh?

Luna: Very good ooooh

Me: Wait… are you touching yourself in my bed?

I’m always hard on the thought of Luna, however knowing how she looked and smelled this morning when I left her sleeping in my bed, wearing only my t-shirt… The image of her body flat back against the mattress, the sight of her dipping her hand under the covers while holding her phone with her other hand. Touching down the softness of her stomach, the hair between her legs… Especially when she is talking to me.

I can’t, I’ll explode right here.

Luna: Maybe

Luna: But seriously? You want to do that

Me: Yes, but we both wanted to take our time, I've waited this long, I can wait however long to get you ready and feeling safe

Me: Oh, and I may have told everyone that you’re my girlfriend

Me: I also had a fake girlfriend I didn't tell you about, I have broken up with her

Luna: You broke up with your fake girlfriend?

Me: Yes, for you because you're the one I want, the only one

Luna: I don’t know what to say because you always said you wanted me but never acted on it…

Luna: Wait, you told people about me?

Me: I told everyone, everyone knows. Including Graham

I don’t apologise, just state as a fact because what else is there? She wants a show of how much she means to me, has always meant to me? I’m happy to cause a fucking riot if it means giving her the reassurance she needs.

Luna: Really?

Me: Yes

Luna: You're serious?

Me: Deadly

Luna: Wait, you told people that I’m your girlfriend? You never asked me to be your girlfriend!

Me: I have to ask?

Luna: Of course you have to formally ask me…

Me: Luna Sundrop Scott, may I ask for your hand officially as my girlfriend?

Luna: ARE YOU BEING FOR REAL, do you really mean it???

Me: I promise you; this is different. Take this leap of faith with me, you’ve always been the one to do it in the past and I’m so sorry for not letting you in before. Put your trust in me, this one last time

I don’t add any emojis, I want her to know I am being serious.

Luna: Yes, Cole, of course I do… DO you know how long I’ve been waiting for this, for you?

Luna: AND…

Luna: I think I'd like you to eat my pussy

Me: Yeah?

Me: Let's order you some food, stay at mine today, relax and when I come home, we can swing round yours and pick up some stuff and go get some food

Luna: That sounds like a plan

Me: And when you are back ay mine, rested, fed and happy, I am going to pin you down and feast upon that cunt of yours until I make you cum

Luna: I might not cum

Me: I know, but you will with me

Luna: I just don't want to disappoint you

Me: You never have, you never could but your pussy and I are going to be so well acquainted that it’s going to sing for me

Luna: Oh Cole!

Me: What baby?

Luna: I have feelings for you that I’m not going to say over a text message

Me: Luna

Luna: Yes Cole???

Me: I’ve always had feelings for you that even as impulsive as I am, I'm not saying it by message either. I’ll say it to your face, or your cunt, maybe both! We’ll see

Today is going to be a day of very little work getting done. For once, that doesn’t fill me with any dread or mental disturbance.

Jessica has tried to engage me with conversation a few times and I have managed to ignore her. Turns out it was her who I must thank for advising my now ex-girlfriend, Marley, I must remind myself of her name, of my unfaithfulness. I am a cheating, whoring bastard apparently and honestly, if nothing else it’s a fantastic alibi I have that I was with Luna last night. Now, no one will question where I was because I was with my new girlfriend.

She is so much more than just a new fake girlfriend. The idea that I can firstly have the love of my life, the star of my dirtiest fantasies is wild to me because I’ve spent so long keeping her at arm's length. I thought that was safer for us both and maybe, it’ll be safer with us together. I want to trust her, that’s always been my issue with Sundrop, my natural openness towards her. It doesn’t take much for me to confess to all sorts around her, without meaning to, she has that effect on people but on me too. No, Sundrop knowing what we both are, this could be a fantastic way to keep us both alive, together and away from the police. We are arguably the best two serial killers in, possibly existence the way we have killed successfully getting away with it for decades.

Together, we can watch each other's backs, keep each other safe. I need to speak to her about her recklessness though, we need some compromise to keep us both safe.

I manage to navigate out of the office without many issues. I have a lot more patience and tolerance in general today, but I want to now get home to my girlfriend. I’m never going to stop calling her that. Forty years fucking old and I’m blushing over my girlfriend. I don’t care, I’m happy and I want to make her happy. Just as well for all the times she told me exactly how she wanted me to love her, I was listening. Storing the information away for the right time.

I wave everyone goodnight and leave, it’s odd that today I was last in and probably first out. Today is a special day though.

I get to my car, sit for a moment and try to organise my thoughts. I know I’m a little jumbled, thrown off balance by Luna. Normally after such a fresh kill like last night, it’s hard to imagine that was only last night. It feels like millions of miles away from here. Still, normally I’d be a bit more together, quieter, settled. Today, she has distracted me. I readjust my trousers, my hard cock begging for me to go to her but he’ll have to wait. No matter how horny I am, I feel resolved to go slowly with her. I want to take my time with her body. First though, I want to get her a little something.

I drive off, heading to one of the stores on the way home, one I know will be open at this time. I could have ordered flowers or any number of things for her to be delivered but honestly my head has been well and truly up my arse today. I’ve spent most of the day in a daze, too stunned by the turnaround to act properly. That will change though, I’ll settle down and into a routine with her.

I think I need to get home and check that she is there, that she’s real and I haven’t imagined the last twenty-four hours. Part of me thinks this is a final psychotic break, the last snap before I go spiralling out of control. It wouldn’t surprise me, in fact, I’d believe that more than the truth.

The truth that she picked me, wants me. That we are the same.

I pull into the parking lot and park, making sure to take many deep breaths because I’m excited. I’m vibrating with something that is filling me up, making me restless and not in a bad way. It’s not anxious, it’s motivating. I get out of my car almost forgetting to lock it, which I better do in this area. It’s a nice car, the area isn’t.

Walking into the Tesco Express, I spot the small flower display immediately and stop to look at the buckets filled with bunches of flowers. There are reds, pinks, yellows all of which I know she likes. Red roses, she once told me, mean love. She loves pink flowers, and I know she particularly loves yellow in flowers but rarely in anything else. So, any of these bunches would do. I decided to do the mature thing and get one bunch of each colour. I stop for a moment, wondering if I even have a vase or anything to keep them in. I must have something, maybe we can pick up one of hers.

It’s Valentine's Day next month so the shop has a display of cards and gifts. This is perfect I think as I carry the bunches of roses, together they make a huge bunch. I walk around with the flowers and spot a red card; it has a large pink heart in the middle and says, “I WANT TO BE YOUR BOYFRIEND!” I picked it up too, it’s perfect, exactly what I had needed.

There’s a purple stuffed uniform holding a heart, I grab that too. Her favourite colour and a unicorn? It’s like the whole display was made especially for Sundrop. Flowers, card and a unicorn… Chocolates perhaps? I go searching for the perfect sweets to add into the mix for her and discover a red basket, perfect for the items to be put into for her. She loves little baskets and things, maybe she can keep some of her stuff over at mine in it afterwards.

I eventually find some red and pink iced doughnuts and think, ok, those are more my favourite, but cake is good, they are heart shaped and themed too much to leave behind. I do see some Lindt chocolate and get that for her too. She does love plain milk chocolate, never been a fan of anything that has extra bits in it.

I can and will be romantic, this isn’t much, just a token. My brain just had not been prepared for this, but she was right, I did need to ask her to be my girlfriend. This is going to be the happiest time of our lives. That I am sure of. I go to the self-checkout and pay with my card; I’m in a hurry now to get home to her.