Page 83 of As the Years Pass

“So, we’re really doing this, huh?”

Emmet turns so he’s on top of me, resting between my thighs. “As long as you want to.”

“I do,” I say with a firm nod. “But I still want an explanation.”

He sighs, sliding his hands under me to hug me and then places his cheek on my chest. “It’s simple, really.” My fingers go back to his hair as I wait for him to give me more. “I never stopped loving you. And when I had no choice but to start over, I figured coming here could be a second chance for us.”

“So you really came here for me?” I ask.

“Yeah, Adam. I really came here for you.”

I don’t think my heart could be any more full.

Indiana shouts at his father, and I turn my attention to the TV. I can’t help but laugh at the scene when they’re tied to the chair.

“I want to do this with you,” I say softly after some time.

He turns to face me. “Are you sure?”

I nod, my hand still in his hair. “You have such gorgeous hair.”

He grins. “Yeah, it’s one of my best assets.”

“I think yourassis your best asset.”

“Not my shining personality?” He bats his eyelashes, and then we both laugh.

“That’s pretty great too,” I say once we stop laughing.

Emmet keeps his eyes on me, a small smile on his lips. “How are you going to tell the kids?”

That’s like a bucket of ice water dumped over my head, seeping into my skin as it travels through my veins.

Why haven’t I thought about that?

“That’s… something I’ll have to think about.” He frowns. I know why and feel bad immediately. “It’s not like last time, Emmet.”

“That’s hard to believe, Adam. You’re already unsure about telling people.”

“I’m unsure ofhowI’m going to tell my children, Emmet. Not random people off the street. This is a big deal.”

He sits up, that frown still on his face. “Because I’m a man?”

“Yes. Well, no—”

“Got it.” He moves to the other side of the couch and feels a million miles away.

“Emmet, don’t do this,” I plead.

He doesn’t say anything, just keeps his gaze on the TV, but I’m pretty sure he isn’t watching it.

I crawl over to him, throwing my leg over his legs to sit on his lap. I take his face between my hands and make him look at me. His eyes are on mine, but I don’t think he’s seeing me. It’s clear he’s upset.

“This isn’t like before,” I say. “This is a different situation altogether. Yes, it’s because you’re a man, but only because my kids have never seen me with anyonebuttheir mother. It’s going to be a conversation I need to have with them. They’re young,and we’ve always taught them to be accepting of everyone. They’re going to have a lot of questions, and I need to figure out how to answer them. Being a father doesn’t come with a handbook, you know. I have no idea what I’m doing half the time, and this isn’t something I prepared for. I intended on being single for the rest of my life.”

He blinks, his eyes red. Then he looks away from me.

“I can’t handle losing you again, Adam.”