Page 77 of As the Years Pass

I don’t know if all of this makes me a gossip or if I’m just at the bar too much these days. But if Emmet is here, I want to be here too.

I hop onto the stool that I normally sit at, the one at the end of the bar furthest away from the door. It seems always open for me and I wonder if that’s on purpose.

It’s the seat closest to the stage so I get a great view when Nathanial is up there, singing his heart away. You never know what kind of music you’re going to get in this place, if any at all. It’s whatever everyone feels like that day—or what Nathanial feels like since he seems to be unofficially in charge of it. I’ve been here when they’ve line danced, sang awful karaoke, and there have even been nights when I thought I walked into a night club. One time, someone brought in a sub-woofer that worked so well I thought the ceiling was going to come down. For the first time, I was wondering what the top of this building is used for because if people live their, they must really hate their lives.

The Butterfly is not your typical bar, that’s for sure. I still can’t believe Emmet bought this place. Of all the bars in the world for him to buy, it was this one. Here, in the city I moved to, right down the street from where I live.

“Hey,” Emmet says when he walks out from the back room.

“Hey,” I respond. “So, let me ask you something.”

“Sure.” He starts to make my drink, something he always does when I get here. He stopped letting me pay, but I always leave a big tip for Pete anyway.

“Did you know I was living here?”

“In Seattle?”he asks, grabbing the soda gun and glancing at me. I nod. “Yeah, why?”

My heart beats a little faster as I anticipate asking the next question. But I need to know.

“Is that why you moved here?”

He pauses, head still downcast on the drink he’s making, but his eyes flick to me.

“Probably something we should talk about another time,” he says, then slides the glass over.

I think that’s a yes. He knew I was here.

“Did you come hereforme?” I ask.

Emmet holds my gaze, seeming to think something over before simply admitting, “Yes.”

My eyes widen, my heart doing a flip.

He moved to Seattle for me? That’s… I don’t know. A lot to take in.

“Can we talk about this later, please?” he asks.

I reach for my drink, shaking out of the shock. “Okay.”

He disappears into the back room while I sip my drink, and I wonder if I shouldn’t have asked that. Is he ashamed? He shouldn’t be. Is he worried that I’ll hate him now? I don’t.

I can’t quite explain how I feel but it isn’t angry. I’m surprised, yes. Mostly, I think I’m flattered and… hopeful.

This doesn’t feel weird, it just feels very Emmet. It’s exactly the sort of romantic thing that he would do.

I’ve spent the last couple of years trying to figure my life out. The end of my relationship with Leslie wasn’t great, but I’ve been working on getting my life together ever since.

What has he been doing? All these years we’ve been apart, what has he been doing with his time?

He couldn’t possibly have been thinking about me all this time, right? He couldn’t possibly have had me on his mind for all these years?

That’s crazy.

Right?

“You ready to go?” I look up, and there’s Emmet, somehow looking better than he did five minutes ago. Not in the way he’s more attractive, like he fixed his hair, but… something else. It’s like I’m seeing him differently now, in a new light.

“I thought you’d be longer,” I say.