Page 109 of As the Years Pass

He smirks. “When I have yard work to do, yes.”

“Yard work?” I ask.

“Cutting the grass. Weeding. Watering the plants.”

“Oh, right. Because they don’t get enough water from the rain.”

He huffs out a laugh, shaking his head. “I’ll go get Leslie.”

“Good idea,” I mutter, not sure if he heard me or not. I guess it’s better if he didn’t. Being rude to the guy in his own house isn’t nice.

I sit in the kitchen, in the pure silence, for far too long. I almost get up and go look for them. When I’m about to, Leslie walks in.

“Sorry,” she says. “My mother would not get off the phone.”

“How is she?”

“Well. Do you want a drink?”

“No, thank you.”

“I’m going to make a coffee, then we can chat.”

I watch as she gets to making a coffee in the one-cup side of her fancy coffee machine that probably costs over five hundred dollars.

It’s not that we didn’t have fancy things. We did. We had a good life and never hurt for money. But something about that coffee machine rubs me the wrong way.

Her back is to me as she grabs a mug, presses the buttons, and stares out the window.

I catch a glimpse of Chris pushing a mower, his shirt off. He stops and waves at her with a stupid smile on his face. She waves back.

That’s when it hits me—what my goddamn problem is.

I’m not jealous of him being with Leslie. I’m not jealous of their stupid fancy appliances.

I’m jealous of what they have.

Chapter Forty-Five

Emmet

I have zero expectations for this trip. I invited Adam as a friend, and I told him it didn’t have to mean anything. The more I think about it, the more I wonder why I asked him to come at all. It all feels really stupid on my end, like dangling a juicy steak in front of my face after not eating for a month.

How could this not mean something? This is Adam. The man I’ve been in love with since I was sixteen years old.

I keep reminding myself this is Dominic’s wedding, this is about him and his fiance. This has nothing to do with Adam and me, yet I’m using it as an opportunity to spend time with him just the same.

Because of Dominic. He told me to bring someone, so I’ll just blame it all on him.

Adam was not able to get on the same flight as me—he took an earlier one. I was tempted to change mine to his, but that would have been weird, so I didn’t. But I did think about it for at least an hour. Even made it all the way to check-out.

I’m antsy as I look out the car window, taking in the beautiful scenery. I’ve seen plenty of photos and videos of the island, but none of them compare to what I’m looking at right now. I can hardly put it into words. It’s just breathtaking. Clear blue skies, clearer and bluer ocean. The plants are vibrant, the sand golden, the people happy.

“First time?” the driver asks.

I smile, unable to pull my gaze from the ocean. “Yep.”

“I can tell. All you newcomers have that same look in your eye.”