Page 79 of As the Years Pass

When we get up to his apartment, he closes and locks the door behind him. I’m shrugging off my jacket when he steps in front of me, his hands going right to the button of my jeans, flicking it open.

“We should talk,” he says, moving closer and pressing my back to the door. I toss my jacket on the floor. “About you, being here.”

“Yeah,” I say, sliding my hands around his waist and watching as his fingers work on my zipper, slowly dragging it open.

“Later,” he whispers, then kisses me. “I’m so hard for you right now.”

He grinds against my thigh, his hand sliding into my jeans, and I groan into his mouth.

“Please tell me we aren’t supposed to be waiting for something?” he says when he pulls back, sliding his hands up my stomach and shoving my shirt up to look at my abs.

“Like what?”

“We’ve done nothing but kiss since California.” His mouth goes to my neck, nipping at my skin.

“I thought you wanted to wait.” My head falls back to the door with a thud.

He pulls back, looking at me like I’m crazy. “I thoughtyouwanted to wait.”

I stare at him for a minute, blinking like a deer in headlights. “I do not want to fucking wait,” I growl, getting my shirt off the rest of the way and flinging it away.

“Thank god,” he mutters before reaching for his own shirt.

We kiss frantically as we make our way through the apartment and into the bedroom, peeling off our clothes in the process. We’re both fully naked when we fall onto the bed, him on top of me, our cocks pressed together.

I can’t believe this is happening.

“I really want to fuck you,” he says against my lips, then finds my neck, sucking on my sensitive skin so hard I know it’ll leave a mark.

I welcome it.

I want everyone to know what we’ve been doing.

“So do it,” I say. “There’s nothing stopping you.”

He pauses, panting, his breath hot against my neck.

“What’s wrong?” I ask.

Slowly, he lifts his head to meet my eyes.

“It’s been a while,” he says quietly.

I brush my fingers along his cheek. “Nothing has changed.”

“You have.”

“No,” I say with a soft shake of my head. “Nothing has changed, Adam. Nothing.” I lean up to kiss him, a soft press of our lips.

“I feel like I don’t know what I’m doing, Emmet. I haven’t been with someone in over two years, and I haven’t been with a man since…”

He trails off and I know what he’s going to say.

He hasn’t been with a man since me.

Well, neither have I.

I kiss him again, then say, “I get to be your first twice? What an honor.”