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“Since forever.”
His head snaps to Alice, then Stef, before snapping back to me.
“I... I mean, it’s cool, obviously, I just…” his eyes take on this sad look. “You could have told me man, like, any time, you know I wouldn’t have… well shit, come here.”
He stands up, and as much as I don’t want to hug it out in the middle of a busy restaurant, I’m not gonna push him away now.
He’s grinning like a fool when he pulls away, his hands still on my shoulders as he looks at Stef again.
“Simakov’s a good guy,” he tells Stef. “Like the best teammate and captain, he’ll always have your back.”
“Shut up man,” I say, slapping his arm to get him to stop.
“What? You are!”
When he stops hugging me and telling Stef how great I am, he sits down and I hope this will be the last of it. That the food will distract him and we can just go on with the meal without talking about it anymore, but nope.
He asks me about a million and one questions about how I knew I was gay and who knows and if that’s why I said I was a virgin, and am I really a virgin? This last one stumps me.
I look at Stef before answering and he gives me a little nod.
“I really was.”
“Was?” he asks.
Alice’s eyes go wide. I guess Stef didn’t tell her aboutthat.
“Look, can we please stop talking about my…” I just stop myself from sayingsex“… love life? I still have a concussion you know.”
“Oh now it’s convenient.” Stef grins.
“Shut up you.”
“You two are too cute,” Mischa says.
Alice rolls her eyes. “They’re not a side-show, eat your California rolls before they get cold.”
“But they’re supposed to be cold, right?”
Alice looks at me and we burst out laughing.Idiot.
“That wasn’t so bad right?”Stef asks as he kicks his shoes off at the door.
“No. It was way less scary than I’ve been building it up to be in my head.”
It’s still a long,longwayto go before I can ever imagine telling my dad though. But I don’t wanna think about that tonight. I just want to bask in how good it feels to be honest with at least two people in my life. Not counting horror boy.
I cross the room and take Stef’s face in my hands, kissing him like I’ve wanted to all night.
Watching him in that restaurant and knowing he was mine made me feel… I don’t know. Less broken. Less empty.
When I’m with him like this, it’s like he’s filling me up. Patching over all the little cuts and scratches that have been left there over the years.
“Shall we go to bed?”
“Isn’t it a little early for that?”
“I see the doctor again tomorrow, if I get the all-clear for ‘physical activity’ will you stop worrying then?”