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“We really need to talk about last night.” He says. His fingers make circles around the cut in my head. It makes me want to go to sleep again.
“Okay.”
“What’s going on here? Are we just fooling around or-”
“I wouldn’t just fool around. Especially not with you.”
His fingers stop mid-circle. “Why not?”
“Because… you’re too important to me to fool around with.”
“Oh?” he smiles.
“Yeah.”
I kiss him, slow and deep. “I’ve tried talking to someone online before.”
His eyes widen, like maybe he doesn’t wanna hear this, but I need to be honest with him if this is gonna work. I can’t just come out to my dad. Stef’s gonna have to deal with a lot from me if we’re gonna try and be together, the least I can give him is honesty.
“I think this guy has a boyfriend now, but, before that, we shared pictures and-”
“Alexei.” He cuts me off. “You don’t have to tell me this.”
“Does it bother you?”
“No, I just…” he trails off, shaking his head.
“But I need to tell you this.”
He swallows. “Okay.”
“When I was talking to this guy, it was the only time I felt connected to someone like that. To the point where I could see myself having something physical with them. And you’re the only person in real life I’ve ever felt that way about.”
He nods, slowly.
“Are you jealous?”
“No, not jealous.”
“So do you wanna be with me? Like my boyfriend?”
His eyes widen again, this time, he smiles. “Yes.”
“Good. But you know I need time to talk to my dad and-”
“I get it, I’m not out to my family yet either.”
“No, but you will be soon, and I know they’ll be supportive, I can just tell.”
He strokes the hair by my cut again as he talks. “Maybe your dad will surprise you.”
I flinch. “I doubt it. But there are some people I wanna talk to before him.”
“Like who?”
“Like my teammates. Mischa especially.”
“I think Mischa will be cool about it.”