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I just nod. Feeling overcome with fatigue. I wave the barista over and order an espresso.
“Okay, wait a minute… is that it? A scar? How similar is it? Because a lot of people have scars.”
“It’s not just the scar. He’s from Brooklyn, Kelsier38’s from Brooklyn. He likes the same books. And I’m sure Kelsier said he was into sports. Then there was this weird reaction Alexei had when I made a comment aboutWest Side Story.”
“What aboutWest Side Story?”
“Just some stupid joke. Alice, I really think it’s him.”
The barista brings my espresso over and I take a grateful swig.
“Well shit. What are you going to do? You need to ask him outright if it’s him.”
Thoughts of Alexei crying on my hand flood to the forefront and I shake my head. “I can’t.”
“Why not?”
“He’s in a bad place right now, and he doesn’t have anyone but me and horror boy to talk to. If he finds out we’re the same person, it’s gonna freak him out, and then he’ll have no one, and I’m worried about him Alice, I’m really worried.”
She sighs. “Steffy,” she says, leaning over and putting her hand over mine on the table. “One of the reasons I love you is because you care about everyone around you, so deeply. You see the best in people and you give them the benefit of the doubt. Even if they don’t always deserve it. But sometimes, this is to the detriment of your own wellbeing.”
I pull my hand back, feeling burned. “What do you mean?”
She keeps looking at me with that sympathy in her eyes that makes me feel ten years old. “I mean, it’s not your place to play Mother Theresa to every lost soul you come across.”
“I’m not playing Mother Theresa.” I bite back. “He’s my friend, and my roommate. And he stood up for me against Dorian, more than once. He doesn’t have anyone to do this for him.”
“He has Mischa.”
I shake my head. “I don’t think they’re close like you and me are. I don’t know what I’d do if I didn’t even have one friend I could tell anything to. I’d be a mess too.” At that admission, I soften again. Wishing I hadn’t snapped at her.
“So what are you going to do?” She sighs, sitting back in her chair. “Just carry on talking to this Kelsier guy like you don’t know he’s sleeping in the room next to you?”
“I don’t know.”
“Steffy, you can’t do that. You have to either tell him, or stop speaking to him online.”
I realize I’m biting the nail on my thumb and sit on my hand. “But I think he tells things to horror boy he doesn’t tell me.”
“It’s wrong. Ethically.”
Gah, why does she always have to be right about things?“But it’s for the right reasons.”
I can’t stand Alice being disappointed in me. I think she’s going to call me out again when she opens her mouth.
“What would Tom Hanks do?”
“What?”
“InYou’ve Got Mail, what did he do?”
I think about it. It’s been a minute since we watched that one, but I’m pretty sure… “he kept lying to her.”
Alice tuts. “Okay, not that part, what else did he do?”
“He literally kept up the charade, let her tell him about the guy she was talking to online and fooled her right up to the very end, and she ate it up, she said,I wanted it to be you, I wanted it to be you so bad!”
She rolls her eyes and groans. “You’re impossible!” Slapping her hands on the arms of her chair, she says, “he worked on their relationshipin real life!He said, ‘I have a few things to figure out right now’ - I can’t remember the exact words - but he told her he had a project he was working on and he’d tell her about it when he figured out the details. And that project was her!”