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“Yeah, I’m pretty sure he will be.”
“You know, Alice invited us to dinner with her and Mischa tonight, we don’t have to go but, we could go to a place with low lighting-”
“Sounds good, call her and let her know we’ll be there.”
If I was gettingsecond thoughts about telling one of my teammates I’m gay, seeing Stef come out of his room in a nice shirt and jeans with his hair all cute and messy and smiling atme like I’m actually someone important to him reminds me what I’m doing this for.
“Ready?” He asks.
“Yup.” He takes my hand and squeezes it.
“If you change your mind about telling Mischa tonight-”
“I won’t.”
Mischa and Alice are already at the restaurant. It’s a sushi place we absolutely cased every night when we first started playing on the team together freshman year. We ate so many California rolls I’m surprised we didn’t turn into crabs. We did get pretty good with chop sticks though. It also has that low, ambient lighting, so even if I was feeling sensitive to light, I’d be okay.
They have their heads pressed close together, laughing about something.
“They look happy.” I say.
“Yeah,” Stef smiles at me. “They do.”
Mischa stands up and slaps my hand when he sees us.
“We ordered some California rolls for the table.” he says. I look at Alice and she shakes her head with a smile.
My palms start sweating a little while we wait for our drinks to arrive and I remind myself that I don’t have to do this. But I’m sick of being a coward. Sick of lying to everyone and having to hide.
I look at Stef sitting beside me, laughing at something Mischa said, his eyes all shiny under the low-lights, and I know I’ve got this.
I’m guessing Alice already knows about us. She and Stef seem like the kind of friends who tell each other everything. So when the food comes out, I let everyone have a California roll before clearing my throat.
“So, uh, we’ve got something to tell you guys.”
That knowing smile on Alice’s face tells me at least this won’t be news to one person at the table.
Mischa doesn’t even look up from the sushi he’s destroying with his chop sticks.
“Me and Stef are dating.”
He swallows whatever he’d been chewing and looks up at me, then looks at Stef. He laughs. “Good one. Stef’s way out of your league bro.”
I look at Stef. He bursts out laughing.
“I know he is. But we’re still dating.”
His face changes. The smile instantly dropping and his eyes widening. “You’re being serious.”
“Yeah.”
I have to clasp my hands in my lap under the table to stop them from shaking. For a second, I think my friend is gonna react badly to me coming out to him. Even if he is sitting there with his girlfriend who has a gay best friend. Maybe his true feelings will come out and he won’t be able to hide them?
“You’re gay?”
“Yeah.”
“Since when?”