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“There’s no rush.” He says. “We’ve got all the time in the world.”
29
STEFANOS
Graduation day. Four months later.
Iwatch Alice step up onto the stage to collect her diploma, a big smile on her face, and I feel like a proud parent as my heart swells and I cheer her on.
She turns to the rows of students waiting to take their turn on the football field. Flipping the tassel on her cap from one side to the other the way we’ve watched Rory Gilmore do about a million times now in Alice’s room. Eating cookie dough and crying over re-runs. We might have boyfriends, but that doesn’t mean we can’t have quality friend time. And I’m going to miss this bitch when I move to Nashville, though she’s threatened to stow away in the trunk of the car on more than one occasion.
She waves in my direction, though I doubt she can make me out amongst all these people.
When it’s Alexei’s class’s turn to get up, my stomach flips, watching him wait in line to collect his diploma. Somehow making a cap and gown look obscenely hot, like I knew he would.
I know how much he’s been through to get to this point. How much he’s sacrificed. How many odds were stacked against him.And even if his team went out of the Frozen Four in the first round after losing to Brown, I know it must have been hard for him to watch them get to that point without being able to be there with them. But despite all of that, he did it. He is so much stronger than he thinks. When they call his name, my eyes fill with tears.
The big smile on his face kills me. I love seeing him proud of himself. It’s taken a lot to get him to admit that he’s even done anything to be proud of, but I think he knows now. You don’t have to be perfect to be proud of your accomplishments.
I wipe my eyes before my class is called up onto the stage. I know my family are in the stands, watching. Alexei and Alice cheering me on from the field. The last thing I need is for them to see me blubbing up here, worrying something’s wrong.
I do the tassel flip thing like I promised Alice I would and I swear I hear her voice over everyone else’s, whooping and chanting my name.
Alexei is invitinghis dad for dinner at the restaurant tonight. He thinks it’ll be better if he sees my dad accepting us, knowing they’re religious too. I hate that he feels like he has to ‘soften the blow’ of being gay so his dad will accept him. No one should ever have to do that. But if it makes it easier for Alexei, then I’ll help him do it.
It takes ages to find each other once the ceremony is over, but I manage to call Alexei and meet him under a big tree outside the library. I know I need to stop myself from kissing him, just in case his dad is around and sees. But the second Alexei spots me, he pulls me in and kisses me instead.
“What are you-”
“I couldn’t help myself. And I’m not gonna hide this anymore. There’s literally only my family who doesn’t knowabout us now and it feels so fucking good being able to be honest with everyone else.”
“Whatever happens tonight-”
“I know. You’ve got my back, and I’ve got yours and we’ve got Nashville.”
“Yeehaw.”
He laughs and ruffles my hair. “I love you, silly.”
He keeps hold of my hand while we go to find our families. We find mine first, and even while they hug us both and congratulate us, Alexei won’t let go of my hand. My parents see how nervous he is, how scared he is of being rejected, and I see the same hurt mirrored in their eyes. They really care about him and it makes me even more grateful to have them.
I can feel his hand shaking in mine and it kills me. I know I shouldn’t feel this way because Alexei loves him. But I hate his dad for making him feel this way about himself.
It takes everything in me not to scowl and curse him out when we find him standing with Alexei’s little sister and his grandmother in the bleachers.
Alexei tightens his grip on my hand as we move towards them.
I note his sister’s raised eyebrow as she takes in our clutched hands. But I can’t even look at Alexei’s dad. I don’t trust what I’ll do or say if I don’t like the expression on his face.
Dasha runs towards us and he finally lets go of my hand to scoop her up into a hug.
“I’m so proud of you bro.” She says.
He has tears in his eyes when he pulls away and he swipes at them before kissing her cheek.
“Love you kiddo. Hey, you know Stef.”
“Hi.” I say, stepping forward.