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Things are changing for you, bud. Maybe it's not so bad after all.
Despite the fact that things were looking up at my job, I wasn't sure my personal life taking a hit was what I wanted. I mean, Clara had made her decision. She clearly wanted to be with Gabe. Whether she was going to move with him wasn't apparent, but she evidently didn't mind him going to New York.
And if she didn't mind that, why did she pass me up?
I shook away the errant thoughts. Those were all old news. I needed to focus on packing up for my trip and letting my folks know I wasn't going to go on the family vacation.
I sank slightly in my seat as I maneuvered my car back to my parent's house. I had a dozen things to sort before taking off. I had to make sure my room was clean. I was leaving tonight. As sudden as it was, I found myself relieved.
Sure, I was leaving again, but it would put distance between everything that happened and me. The farther I drifted from Oklahoma, the better I would feel. And I'm sure Clara would appreciate that, too. She would be settling back into her life and I didn't want to be around to distract her. Although we hooked up on purpose, there was no telling whether that would become a regular thing.
She would never cheat on Gabe, I assured myself.But she might keep running back to me when things go wrong with him. And since he'll be gone a lot, it's best if I leave. She needs space. I'll give her all the space in the world—by putting the world between us.
I drove feeling glum, slightly excited, and overwhelmed. I needed the distraction of the Canada trip to take hold immediately. Anymore thoughts about Clara would likely lead to me changing my mind. And I didn't want to do that. As much as Clara was undecided about who to stick with, I wasn't. I knew exactly what I wanted.
And what I wanted was to get lost in Canada.
CHAPTER24
Clara
The line trilled endlessly.
I sat on the edge of my bed with my phone hooked to my ear, staring at the clock. I was sure Levon was awake. He typically napped after noon and then woke up to work the rest of the day. I mean, that was his old schedule, but I was sure he kept to it.
Still, it was proving useless at the moment. I had spent most of my evening and my morning attempting to get a hold of him. My chat with Gabe had proved to be healing and wonderful. I wanted to make the same thing happen by letting Levon know I wanted him to stay. And that I wanted him to stay with me.
It's a long shot, I thought as I hung up to dial again.But maybe he'll stick around this time. If Saturday night was any indication, we want each other—badly.
I sighed with frustration. I was getting sick of the line ringing in my ear. I set down my phone and stood up from my bed, planting my hands on my hips while I glanced around.
“Jennifer and Ryan won't know where he is,” I stated as I walked to the closet. “But I bet his parents would have an idea. He probably got held up on some work.”
I changed my clothes, favoring a purple sundress that still fit me from college. It was Levon's favorite dress. I had held onto it all these years with him in mind, never bothering to wear it for anyone else—not even Gabe. But today felt different. I had a hopeful sensation in my gut that drove me to pull it on and to check myself out in the wall mirror.
I spun around with a giggle.
He'll love it, I thought as I tossed my phone into my purse.He'll appreciate the sentiment behind the dress when I tell him I want him back in my life full-time.
I wandered out to my car and shakily started it up. I hadn't been to his parent's house in too many years. I knew exactly where it was, but I was still nervous. My last trip there had been during a holiday when he had come home for a brief two weeks. I recalled the way his parents celebrated his success. I had felt so rotten that day that I hadn't felt much like celebrating anything.
I gripped the steering wheel to quell the shaking. I drove at the speed limit, excessively checked my mirrors, and even took a few calming breaths to help get me settled.
No need to be nervous. We both want this, I assured as I pulled into the driveway.I'm sure his parents will be stoked, too. We always got along. They'll want to throw a party immediately. That's their thing.
I turned off the car while grinning and dumped my keys into my purse. While I approached the porch, I glanced up to find Levon's window. It was oddly assuring to see it was the same as always with navy blue curtains barely covering the windowpane.
I stepped up on the porch with a smile, clutching my purse to my side. I shrugged my shoulders to get rid of excess nervous energy and rang the doorbell before I could change my mind. The lock clicked. The door swung slowly open.
“Clara!”
It was his mother standing in the doorway. She was wearing her vintage kitchen apron that was spattered with flour and her hands were white as snow.
She opened her arms. “It's so good to see you!”
I hugged her despite her messy apron, feeling overwhelmed with memories. “It's been way too long!”
“What brings you to our door? Not that we mind! We are so excited to see you. Steven! Come see who is here!”