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“Now isn't a great time for company. I'll be honest.”
I heard some chatter in the background. There were too many disembodied voices to pluck out anyone specifically. I assumed it was her mother and a few family members. They were all chattering at once and I held the phone away from my ear to avoid the cacophony of noise.
“Hey, Clara?”
I held the phone back to my ear. “Yeah?”
“I have to go. I hate to do this to you, but I'll just have to call you later, okay?”
“Okay, that will be fine.”
“I promise I will call. Just get home safely and get comfortable. I'll text.”
I nodded. “Of course.”
The line disconnected and I tossed my phone back into the seat. It wasn't too long before I reached my apartment—the apartment I had shared with Gabe. I parked my car on the curb, shut off the engine, and sat quietly in the driver's seat with my forehead pressed to the steering wheel.
My life as I knew it was over. There was no way I was ever going to leave Checotah, OK. This place was my home. It was where I had found my first love, even if that first love took off to Europe while barely coming back. It was where I had first gotten drunk, where I had found Jennifer, and where I had developed a real taste for interior design.
I didn't ever want to leave.
I sighed as I raised my head from the steering wheel. I was willing to bet there was a nice, shiny red mark on my forehead from it, a wonderful signal to the world that I was in pain. I grabbed my purse and my phone before stepping out onto the curb. I locked my car and headed upstairs without another passing thought about Gabe.
Well, I might have had a few.
Gabe had been so good to me. He had treated me better than any man I had ever met and yet he had the gall to do the one thing he knew would break us up. It was bad form to ask me to move before marrying him. He should have known better. And yet he still worked up the guts to ask. Of all the things he knew about me, he knew that the most.
All I ever wanted was to get married in my hometown and have the dream job of my life. I had the job, but Jen was getting married instead of me. I was happy for Jen—I really was—but I was also jealous. I loved her like a sister and I wanted her to get everything out of life that she deserved. She had never done any wrong to anyone.
And neither had I. Everything I had in my life I had earned—even Gabe. I had made sure my life was set up properly so I could get the most out of it. I never asked for much. I always sought fulfillment as most people had, but I was lacking. And I wasn't sure why I was lacking so much.
I marched into my apartment, kicked off my heels, and immediately dove into the bed, letting the velvet blanket soothe me as I cried quietly. I heard my phone buzz.
“We'll have to catch up another day,” Jen texted. “My family is nuts.”
“That's okay.”
“I'm so sorry about tonight, honey. You have all my love.”
I smiled. “Thanks. I love you, too.”
After I set down my phone, I listened to the sounds of the city around me. There were cars bustling up the main road and plenty of white noise from the highway. I could hear the planes flying overhead. All around me, life existed.
And yet I felt hollow. My heart had been yanked from my chest, carved out with a switchblade. The things I had worked hard for were in this apartment—everything except for a husband. It wasn't that I needed that to be complete. It was just that I did my best to make my relationship perfect. It had always felt perfect.
But now it was imperfect.
And it was officially over.
CHAPTER3
Levon
Jennifer slappedher notebook on the table. She gave an exasperated sigh as she shook her head, shaking around her dark hair over her shoulders. Although her eyes were usually a bright hazel, they appeared dark and ominous today.
I tapped the notebook. “Something wrong, little bean?”
“It's just the aisle arrangement.”