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Kane.
It was the most sincere, most decent, most human thing I’d ever heard from him. Kane was never very good at thinking about other people’s feelings and other people’s needs. I guessed when life always treats you like the bottom of the barrel, that’s the way you become. It’s “you first” because otherwise you feel as if it will always be “you last.”
Not that I wanted to make excuses for the kinds of choices Kane made because I had let go of making excuses for the way I once was. But still, I understood something about how Kane became who he was and why he did what he did, and I believed he was owning it at last. And, that meant there might be some hope for him after all.
And if there was hope for Kane Marcus, there must be hope for even the most lost souls in the world. There had proven to be hope for me, hadn’t there?
My desk phone rang. I picked up and Barbara said, “Leo.”
“Okay,” I said.
A second later, Leo walked in and shut the door behind him. “Hey,” my brother-in-law said, “how’s the day going?”
I smiled a kind of faraway smile at him and answered, “Pretty good, Leo. I’m thinking, I can’t really complain of having a bad day again because so many people are struggling, compared to me. People I used to know, who are just trying to pull their lives together into something normal. I have a lot to be grateful for.”
What I was most grateful for, of course, was sitting in a cubicle on the floor right below me.
_______________
I had a date for dinner that night with Corinne. I had some ideas about someotherthings I’d like to have with her, but dinner was on for sure. On my way out, I said my goodnights to the unsuspecting Barbara, who didn’t know what Corinne had in store for her. But just then, Leo walked in again.
“Something you need?” Barbara asked him.
“Nope,” said Leo. “I just wanted to have a word with Elijah again. You have yourself a good evening.”
“You, too,” she said. “See you both tomorrow.” My secretary let herself out, leaving my brother-in-law and me alone.
“So what brings you by at this hour?” I asked.
Leo said, “Well, it’s just… Listen, I know you’re Sarah’s little brother. But lately, I’ve been thinking, I’ve had this way of treating you like you’remylittle brother at times too, always looking out for you.
“Elijah, if I’ve ever made you feel like you’re not responsible and you can’t do it on your own, I want you to know, that was out of line and I understand that. You’ve gotten plenty of that from your father. You don’t need it from your partner. The fact is, I couldn’t have built this business without you, and I appreciate you. I really do.”
I was touched that he would come to me and say that. It meant something to me. And, the truth was that I did feel a lot of the time as if Leo was looking out for me, but not in the way of thinking I was a screw-up or irresponsible. More than making me think I wasn’t up to the job, he had made me feel believed in and trusted. He saw the good in me right from the beginning, and I always had the sense that he just wanted me to be as good as he knew I was.
“You know what?” I said. “I need someone to keep me accountable. I think a lot of why I’ve been able to get myself on the straight and narrow and stay there is because of you and Sarah. I appreciate you guys, too.”
“I’m glad we started this business together,” he said, giving me a little clap on the shoulder.
“Me too,” I said. We slapped each other a high-five, which turned to a handshake, which at once turned to a hug. I’d grown up with Sarah and loved having a sister. But, it was good to have a brother.
CHAPTER38
Corinne. Saturday
It was another visit to Diamond’s Gym with Elijah. I decided to do aerobics on one of the stepping machines because it gave me a good view of the leg machines — and of Elijah sitting on one of them, lifting his legs and flexing the muscles in those thighs again and again and again. The best part of working out was watching my boyfriend work out.
A voice came up behind me and off to one side. “Hey, you.”
“Hi, Ben,” I said, turning to look at him, still working my own legs on the machine, but not very hard.
He said knowingly, “I’ve got the distinct feeling you come here for something besides the workouts.”
I blushed at him. It was partly from the effort I was putting in on the machine, but partly from how perceptive he was. He didn’t come right out and say that watching Elijah work out was a kind of foreplay for me, but Mr. Diamond of Diamond’s Gym was a pretty sharp and shrewd guy.
“Well,” I said, “when you have a boyfriend, you should have shared interests, after all.”
“I’m pretty sure I know what the shared interest is here,” Ben cracked.