Page 411
So, I tilted my head at the door, which was her cue to close it for privacy.
She returned to standing at my desk and calmly said, “I’m listening.”
With her rapt attention, I told her the whole story of what happened with Corinne. Mind you, I didn’t tell her about all the steaming-hot details of what I did to Corinne on her couch and in my bed. I just gave her enough of the facts that she could fill in the details herself, if she wanted. Not that I expected Barbara to paint pictures of my sex life in her head; she would just know how it was without my being blatant about it.
Barbara, like Ben, didn’t judge. But, she did ask a question that was more the kind of thing you’d ask a friend than a boss. “Was thatreallywhat you wanted to do?”
I couldn’t decide which one stung worse, the question or the honesty of my answer. “It’s not what I wanted. None of it is what should have happened to begin with, since she is my employee. But sometimes, the thing that isn’t necessarily appropriate is the thing that feels right. And with Corinne, it felt right.
“It’s just that she doesn’t deserve to have any of the crap from my past come down on her the way it did, and I could tell that she didn’t trust that it wouldn’t happen again. If I were in Corinne’s place,Iwouldn’t trust that a thing like that wouldn’t happen again. So, I let her go, for her own good.”
“Mm-hmm,” said Barbara. And I waited for her to drop the other shoe. She was quick about it. “You ended things about five minutes after you’d started them, and you didn’t give either one of you a chance. You didn’t give yourself a chance to prove to her that you were better than your old life and the people you knew before, and you didn’t give Corinne a chance to really see how much better you really are. One little blow-up with your scummy ex-friend, and you let it sink the whole thing.”
It was depressing to hear her put it that way, but it was a somewhat different spin on the situation. “In a manner of speaking, yes,” I said.
“Elijah, Corinne didn’t know you then. She only knows the way you are now. Or, she wasstartingto, until you got scared of her being scared and called the whole thing off as fast as it started.
“If you’d shown that little persistence and been willing to give up so easily in business, you wouldn’t have been able to do any of the things you’ve done with your life. Persistence. Not giving up. That’s the ticket. You made a billion dollars that way. You can make a happy relationship that way. Just persist.”
“Persist? Afterthat?”
“Yes!” she said, more sternly than she’d ever spoken to me before, not at all like a subordinate. “Talk to her again! Admit your mistake! Give both of you another chance!”
“All right,” I gave in, feeling my secretary become something more like my mother. In fact my mother seldom spoke to me the way my secretary was doing. When I got a tongue-lashing, it was always from Dad. “I’ll talk to her. Eventually. Damned if I know what I’m going to say…”
“Try telling her how you really feel. Girls like it when guys are honest about their feelings. If you’re honest with her, she’ll respond.”
I thanked Barbara for giving me that loving little kick in the ass, and we both got back to work.
Later, Leo came in, hardly paying any attention to my state of mind; he was too focused on a spreadsheet that he had on his tablet. I was grateful for that. After Barbara, I didn’t feel up to playing whatever scene would have unfolded with my partner if he’d been more aware of how emotionally beaten-down I was. He just held up the tablet and what he had on his screen, gestured to the door, and called, “Meeting in five.”
At once, I flipped into business mode. I’d better be on my game now, or Leo would catch on that something was bugging me, and I’d have to play that scene that I didn’t want with him after all.
There were other scenes that I was looking forward to playing even less.
CHAPTER26
Corinne. Wednesday afternoon
Sometime after lunch, I got a visitor at my cubicle. My visitor waited for me to finish the online chat I was having, which was actually almost finished. I thanked the customer for getting in touch and, following my training, asked him if there might be anything else I could help him with. He said no, he was good, and he thanked me and closed the chat. Wrapping that up, I put my desk computer into Sleep mode and swiveled my chair around to face Barbara.
“Why don’t you take a few minutes?” she suggested. “No one will mind if you talk to the boss’s secretary for a moment.” She pointed to the common area and I followed her there.
As soon as we were seated, she quietly got right to the point. “You and Elijah,” she said flatly.
My breath and my limbs both froze, and I could pretty well guess what color or colors my face was turning. I said in a hush, “Youknow?”
“Basically, yes,” she said.
“Oh my God,” I reacted nervously. “I heard about the police and the arrest at his building being in the news, but I was upstairs during all that. And, it was over the weekend, so it wasn’t like anyone from the office could have seen us…” In spite of my babbling, I couldn’t shake the sudden dread I was feeling. “No one actually knows that we met over the weekend, do they?”
“I’m sure people saw the two of you together other times,” she replied, “but I don’t think anyone at work but me knows how far it went. I sure haven’t brought it up, except with Elijah.”
Exhaling heavily, I said, “Thank goodness forthatat least.” In spite of Barbara’s assurances, I couldn’t help stealing a glance around the call center to make sure everyone else’s attention was only on work and not on us.
And then, Barbara asked, “Can I help you at all?”
Her kindness touched me. It reminded me of the kindness that I would have gotten from Daddy if I’d confided in him, which was still making me feel guilty. For heaven’s sake, I should trust my own father as much as I trusted the lady upstairs at work.
She returned to standing at my desk and calmly said, “I’m listening.”
With her rapt attention, I told her the whole story of what happened with Corinne. Mind you, I didn’t tell her about all the steaming-hot details of what I did to Corinne on her couch and in my bed. I just gave her enough of the facts that she could fill in the details herself, if she wanted. Not that I expected Barbara to paint pictures of my sex life in her head; she would just know how it was without my being blatant about it.
Barbara, like Ben, didn’t judge. But, she did ask a question that was more the kind of thing you’d ask a friend than a boss. “Was thatreallywhat you wanted to do?”
I couldn’t decide which one stung worse, the question or the honesty of my answer. “It’s not what I wanted. None of it is what should have happened to begin with, since she is my employee. But sometimes, the thing that isn’t necessarily appropriate is the thing that feels right. And with Corinne, it felt right.
“It’s just that she doesn’t deserve to have any of the crap from my past come down on her the way it did, and I could tell that she didn’t trust that it wouldn’t happen again. If I were in Corinne’s place,Iwouldn’t trust that a thing like that wouldn’t happen again. So, I let her go, for her own good.”
“Mm-hmm,” said Barbara. And I waited for her to drop the other shoe. She was quick about it. “You ended things about five minutes after you’d started them, and you didn’t give either one of you a chance. You didn’t give yourself a chance to prove to her that you were better than your old life and the people you knew before, and you didn’t give Corinne a chance to really see how much better you really are. One little blow-up with your scummy ex-friend, and you let it sink the whole thing.”
It was depressing to hear her put it that way, but it was a somewhat different spin on the situation. “In a manner of speaking, yes,” I said.
“Elijah, Corinne didn’t know you then. She only knows the way you are now. Or, she wasstartingto, until you got scared of her being scared and called the whole thing off as fast as it started.
“If you’d shown that little persistence and been willing to give up so easily in business, you wouldn’t have been able to do any of the things you’ve done with your life. Persistence. Not giving up. That’s the ticket. You made a billion dollars that way. You can make a happy relationship that way. Just persist.”
“Persist? Afterthat?”
“Yes!” she said, more sternly than she’d ever spoken to me before, not at all like a subordinate. “Talk to her again! Admit your mistake! Give both of you another chance!”
“All right,” I gave in, feeling my secretary become something more like my mother. In fact my mother seldom spoke to me the way my secretary was doing. When I got a tongue-lashing, it was always from Dad. “I’ll talk to her. Eventually. Damned if I know what I’m going to say…”
“Try telling her how you really feel. Girls like it when guys are honest about their feelings. If you’re honest with her, she’ll respond.”
I thanked Barbara for giving me that loving little kick in the ass, and we both got back to work.
Later, Leo came in, hardly paying any attention to my state of mind; he was too focused on a spreadsheet that he had on his tablet. I was grateful for that. After Barbara, I didn’t feel up to playing whatever scene would have unfolded with my partner if he’d been more aware of how emotionally beaten-down I was. He just held up the tablet and what he had on his screen, gestured to the door, and called, “Meeting in five.”
At once, I flipped into business mode. I’d better be on my game now, or Leo would catch on that something was bugging me, and I’d have to play that scene that I didn’t want with him after all.
There were other scenes that I was looking forward to playing even less.
CHAPTER26
Corinne. Wednesday afternoon
Sometime after lunch, I got a visitor at my cubicle. My visitor waited for me to finish the online chat I was having, which was actually almost finished. I thanked the customer for getting in touch and, following my training, asked him if there might be anything else I could help him with. He said no, he was good, and he thanked me and closed the chat. Wrapping that up, I put my desk computer into Sleep mode and swiveled my chair around to face Barbara.
“Why don’t you take a few minutes?” she suggested. “No one will mind if you talk to the boss’s secretary for a moment.” She pointed to the common area and I followed her there.
As soon as we were seated, she quietly got right to the point. “You and Elijah,” she said flatly.
My breath and my limbs both froze, and I could pretty well guess what color or colors my face was turning. I said in a hush, “Youknow?”
“Basically, yes,” she said.
“Oh my God,” I reacted nervously. “I heard about the police and the arrest at his building being in the news, but I was upstairs during all that. And, it was over the weekend, so it wasn’t like anyone from the office could have seen us…” In spite of my babbling, I couldn’t shake the sudden dread I was feeling. “No one actually knows that we met over the weekend, do they?”
“I’m sure people saw the two of you together other times,” she replied, “but I don’t think anyone at work but me knows how far it went. I sure haven’t brought it up, except with Elijah.”
Exhaling heavily, I said, “Thank goodness forthatat least.” In spite of Barbara’s assurances, I couldn’t help stealing a glance around the call center to make sure everyone else’s attention was only on work and not on us.
And then, Barbara asked, “Can I help you at all?”
Her kindness touched me. It reminded me of the kindness that I would have gotten from Daddy if I’d confided in him, which was still making me feel guilty. For heaven’s sake, I should trust my own father as much as I trusted the lady upstairs at work.
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