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“Elijah, he won’t go away,”she said, more scared by the second.
“Yes…yes, Corinne, he will,”I said. “He’s going away, and you’re getting back in the elevator and going back up to my floor, right now.”
Getting morefrantic and more frightening, Kane barked, “No! She can’t go now! I want to talk to her! I want to show her what a babe she is.”
He triedto step around me and get to her, and again I blocked him. When he reached out his arm again, still seeming to think he could stretch and lay his hand on her, I blocked his arm and this time I held it.
“She’s not a babe,”I told him, as deadly serious and as disgusted as I’d ever been about anything in my life. “And, you’re getting out of here.”
“Yeah, with her!”he half leered and half laughed.
“No, by yourself. I mean it.”Kane struggled and tried to pull his arm from my grip as I called back, “Corinne, back in the elevator,now!And, call 911!”
More sickening than ever,Kane gave a lusty, drug-soaked look past me at Corinne. “She doesn’t need 911. Iknowwhat she needs. Just give me a chance, Elijah, just a chance.”
I heldhis struggling arm like a vise. “You’ve used up all your chances. Corinne, did you hear me?Move!”
From behind me,I heard her uttering, “Oh…oh…” But, I could hear her moving back in the direction of the elevator as I’d told her to do.
Kane tried harderto pull himself free of me, and I got more worked-up myself, recalling that certain drugs could give the user a surge of increased strength or make them think they were stronger. Whatever he was on, it was making Kane as potentially dangerous as he was crazy and strung-out. No decent girl should be anywhere near him under any conditions, but especially now.
“Babe,don’t listen to him! Don’t go away!” Kane called. “Let’s be friends! You’re friends with him; let’s you and me be friends, too! Come on, Corinne, be friendly…”
“Shut up!”I shouted at him.
“Don’t talkto me like that!” he growled at me. “She can talk to whoever the hell she wants to talk to.”
“Well,shedoesn’twant to talk toyou.”
“Let her speak for herself!”he sneered.
Since I wasn’t lettinghim pull away from me, he decided to try to charge right through me. The two of us ended up grunting and bellowing in the lobby, Kane trying to lurch and lunge forward, me pressing him back. We did an angry little dance, back and forth, back and forth, until I heard Corinne’s frightened cry behind me, followed by the sound of the elevator door sliding open, then sliding shut. Only when I was sure that the door was shut with her behind it did I allow Kane to wrench himself, sputtering with anger, from my grip.
He took a staggering step back,staring at me with burning eyes, wiping his lip with his sleeve. He sounded like a rabid animal. “Elijah, what the fuck, man? What the fuck did you dothatfor? Why’d you make her leave?”
“What the helldid you think you were doing?” I shot back at him. “Coming in here hopped-up on God knows what, trying to go up to Corinne like she was some kind of a whore. What the hell, you idiot? What the hell?”
Kane becamelivid at me and pointed a shaky finger. “Who do you think you’re talking to? Where do you get off, talking to me like that? What is it, you think she’s too good for me? I’m not good enough for her?HAH!”
All the bitternessof a life full of wanting, of resentment of the whole world, of sleazy attempts at shortcuts to something better came into his voice. He would have been pitiful if he weren’t so disgusting.
“She’s toogood for the likes of me, butyou’regood enough for her? Who the hell do you think you are? You’re no better than me. The things we’ve done together, the places we’ve been together — no fucking way are you better for her than me!”
He stepped to one side,a bit shakily, and I thought, or hoped, he might just keel over and pass out, but it was no such luck. His growl and sneer almost turned to a sob. “I could make her just as happy as you can.”
“No, you can’t,”I said, as firm and steady as he was seething and strung-out. “Not a girl like her.”
“Why not me?”he said plaintively. “Why not her?”
“Look at yourself,”I said.
Kane slappedhimself on the chest with both hands, almost like a gorilla. “What,‘look at me?’ Tell me that. What’s the difference between me and you? What is that? The clothes, the money, the apartment, the fancy car. Take away all that and what are you? You think you’re not still just like me? I knew you before, man. You and me? I knew you without all that crap.” He hit his chest again. “We’re the same, Elijah.We’re the same!”
“No,”I said, resisting the impulse to pity him. “I could have been just like you, but I’m not, and I never will be. I’ll never go your way.”
The way Kanelooked at me was something new. It was filled with rage, with fury at everything that his life had been, but also the deepest, most cutting pain that I’d ever seen from anyone, ever. It was as if he were seeing me for the first time and seeing everything he would never be because he wanted it, but deep down knew that he would never have it in him to get it. And at that moment, my old “friend” truly hated me.
“Don’t say that to me!”Kane roared. “Youareme! Iamyou! You bastard! Don’t youevertry to fucking tell me you’re better than me!We’re the same,you hear me?We’re the same!”