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Ben, however, was intrigued. Nodding thoughtfully, he gave Elijah a little nudge and said, “Sounds like you two are kind of in the same boat.”
It was now my turn to be intrigued. “Girlfriend problems?” I inquired of Elijah, who got a funny look in his eyes.
“Ex-girlfriend,” he answered quickly. “Didn’t work out, broke it off, long story.” He took a fast glance at his watch. “Will you look at the time? Gotta go over some papers for work tomorrow; I’d better hit the old shower. Corinne, thanks for joining me.” And with that, he was heading for the showers.
I watched Elijah go, a bit flustered at the abruptness of his reaction and the speed of his departure. Ben just shook his head. I gave him a concerned look, and he simply told me, “Sore subject. Don’t worry about it.”
“I get it.” Whoever Elijah’s ex was, she was obviously as unhappy a subject for him as Blake was for me.
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I enjoyed my mango juice so much that I left the gym wanting more of that kind of taste. Which was what brought me to a little cafe between Diamond’s Gym and my apartment. It was a cute little place, clean and brightly lit, with cozy tables and a very friendly young woman behind the counter. When I walked up to the counter, she introduced herself.
“Hi, I’m Kathleen,” she said, smiling warmly. “What can I get you this evening?”
Looking at the menu on the wall over her head, I ordered a mango smoothie and decided to have a toasted ham and cheese croissant and a salad with it, my light workout having given me more of an appetite than I expected it would. Kathleen, who had billowy hair and looked as if she should be one of the models onThe Price is Right,quickly got my order together, and I sat myself down near one of the windows after paying for it.
I happened to have a book with me. It was a breezy sort of novel, the kind of thing you’d take to the beach to read, and I sat sipping on my smoothie and nibbling on my croissant and salad, until in a playful sort of mood, I took out my phone and snapped a picture of my book and my little meal and sent it to Leanna with the simple message,Living the life in Cincinnati, ha-ha.
She texted back,JEALOUS,with a smiley, which made me laugh.
I began thinking about just what kind of life I’d started for myself and what kind of life I’d left back home. The only thing about Youngstown that had made me unhappy was Blake. Ahead of me were so many possibilities that I hadn’t even started to tap into yet.
Remembering my disappointment with Blake took me back to what I’d learned about the relationship that Elijah had ended with his own ex and how he hadn’t wanted to talk about it. I reasoned that Elijah probably processed disappointment in a different way than I did. Perhaps the conversation had gotten too intimate for him, which had made him cut out of there the way he did.
It was a shame, I thought.Who was the woman that it hadn’t worked out with, and had she actually been foolish enough to give him up?
Elijah was a little older than I was, and that and his status as a wealthy businessman meant that he and I were in very different places in life with very different experiences behind us. Elijah’s experience with the woman he didn’t want to discuss must have included what I had decided to postpone with Blake.
I couldn’t imagine that a modern woman from a different background than my own had been involved with Elijah Bennett and had not let him take her to bed. No way had this mysterious ex-girlfriend not helped herself to that body that I saw working out in Ben’s gym and what was in those short-shorts. That relationship, no matter what was wrong with it and no matter why it ended, must definitely have included sex — and lots of it. And yet…it hadn’t been enough to keep them together.
It made me reflect more on my relationship with Blake. I could easily have let him “show me what fucking was,” as he had so earnestly wanted to do. And, there’s no question that it would have been amazing.
I’d been swimming with Blake. I’d seen him get out of the shower at his apartment, tempting me with what was under his towel, and I hadn’t acted on the temptation. But, I knew how desirable Blake was physically. He was as lean and tight as Elijah, though not quite so defined. He could definitely make a girl happy in bed, as I was sure he could have made me.And yet…would it have been enough to sustain the kind of future that I wanted with him?
Looking back, I knew it probably would not have been enough. Some couples, I had no doubt, could sustain themselves on great sex. In fact, I was pretty sure that many couples had gotten together for sex and were pretty muchaboutsex, and I made no judgements about that. But, I wanted my relationship to lead to so much more, and he just didn’t want to make that final commitment.
It was a painful realization that sex would not have made him want to commit any more. He would have wanted to stay in that holding pattern of being together and sleeping together forever. The whole thing would have stagnated, making me want out just the same. Things couldn’t have gone any other way for Blake and me than the way they did. And, that was what had kept me a virgin.
I wasn’t sorry that I was still a virgin. I was only sorry that giving Blake my virginity wouldn’t have given us a future. All in all, I’d done the right thing, even if it had left me without the kind of experiences that most women my age have usually had many times over.
Discreetly, I watched Kathleen at the counter, welcoming other customers and serving them in as friendly a manner as she’d done me. I wondered if there was a man in her life.
Looking the way she did, with the personality that she had, she probably knew the bodies of gorgeous men in a way that I never had. She must have given lots of enthusiastic blow jobs and been orally sexed with the same enthusiasm by some of the most bed-worthy men in the state of Ohio. And the screwing…
Gracious, the way Kathleen’s partners must have been on top of her, driving their dicks deep into her, making her love every stroke, probably even making her love them.How many men had she loved in her life, and how well must she have enjoyed them? When would I ever know what Kathleen must have known?
Sighing, I returned to my book and meal. I had to believe my day would come. With as much of life as I had ahead of me, my day would certainly arrive. Out there in Cincinnati right now, there had to be a man who would be everything for me that Blake was — and everything that he wasn’t.
I’d be patient, and it would happen.
CHAPTER17
Elijah. Saturday
I didn’t want Kane to think he was about to start living the lush life at the expense of his recently-wealthy “buddy.” So, I didn’t take us to the best restaurant in town. Kane would have been out of his element in a place like that, anyway. He wasn’t made for elegant, upscale establishments, and I didn’t frequent places of that sort anyway, except when Ireallywanted to wine and dine a client. In fact, going to a place like that was something that I would only do with Kathleen. meaning that I hadn’t had dinner at the best restaurant in town in a while.
Since I sure as hell wasn’t going to take Kane there, I chose a good, mid-range restaurant, and if he was expecting something better, he was just going to have to live with it. Fortunately, he didn’t complain.