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But what Torin keeps forgetting—or is refusing to truly understand—is that I don’t want out of the arranged marriage.
Because marrying Torin is how I get to be queen.
I’ll be an amazing queen.
At least for the country.
For Torin…well, maybe not so much. But sacrifice is part of the job.
“I said I’d go,” I tell him. I lift my shoulder. “Obviously, I can’t promise you more than that. If you want a guarantee that I’ll fall madly in love, or even that I’ll sleep with either of them, or both?—”
Jonah clears his throat and finally shifts out of the rigid posture he’s been holding.
I still don’t look in his direction.
Yes, Jonah also knows I’m a virgin. He’s also the only one, other than my doctor, I guess, that knows that.
And he’d better keep that to himself.
I go on, my gaze stubbornly on Torin. “I won’t promise anything.”
Torin blows out a breath and runs a hand over his face. “Jesus, Linnea, I would never expect you to sleep with them.” He drops his hand. “Of course, if youwant to, that’s your prerogative. But just…yes, go to dinner. Try to approach it as more than a business meeting though? Please?”
I roll my eyes.
“You’re fantastic,” he says. “But I’m not in love with you. And you’re not in love with me.”
I nod. “You’re right.”
“Do you want me?” he asks. “Are you attracted to me?”
Out of the corner of my eye, I see Jonah shift on his seat again.
I make myself focus on Torin. “No, I’m not.”
He nods. “Well, I want that. I think we both should.”
“What?”
“Love. And sex.”
“I get it,” I tell him. As I have before. “And if we were regular people, I would agree with you. But being king and queen is about much more than what you and I want.”
“Why can’t I be king, with all that entails, and have true love?” he asks.
I swallow. “Do you think having both is possible? Really? What you’re going to do with your life is a unique, and very demanding thing that will require more from you than most people can imagine. There are only certain people who would make a good partner for you. The chances of those people also being your true love are…nearly impossible.”
His expression softens. He leans back, suddenly actually looking relaxed. “I danced with a womanonce, almost two years ago, and haven’t been able to stop thinking about her.”
I lift a brow. He’s never told me this. Jonah’s never told me this.
I want to look at the big man next to me so badly. I want to know if he knows about this woman.
But looking at him feels risky. It feels like something I shouldn’t do.
Torin continues. “I also want all of the best things for Cara. I intend to be the best king this country has ever had. But knowing that I can feel that for someone makes me believe that even a king can have love. And if not, I’d rather rule without a queen.” He leans in. “I can have advisors. I can have close confidants. I can have the best people around me. Like you. I will always listen to you, Linnea. But I do not need to have a queen who I don’t love.”
I take a deep breath.