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If only I’d known that he would take everything from me,and more.
TEN
age16
I waited down the street of Tatiana’s small apartment, a joint to my lips, trying to calm the fuck down.
I'd been in town for almost two months and was expected to return home in just a couple of days.
After today, I’d planned on spending the rest of my time here with Tatiana. All I had left was to collect the remaining cash from Valentina, one of thejineterasthat sold themselves on the streets, and reconcile the accounts with Rowan, our cleaner.
Lita had been spoiling me all day, constantly shoving food in my face, commanding me to eat.You’re too skinny,she’d say.Is my food not good enough?So, of course, I had to eat. Then just as I was finished with Rowan, Abuelo called me in to meet with Manuel Rodrigo. Wanted me to sit in on their meeting. I didn’t understand why my abuelo was doing business with those assholes from Veracruz but I watched carefully, looking over the numbers to make sure they weren’t finding a way to skim more than their share.
It had turned into a whole thing when I found two hundred thousand they were hiding, and there’d been a lot of screaming about trust and betrayal.
Personally, my gut said not to trust them, but Abuelo said we didn’t have a choice.
Finally, after forty minutes of intense fighting, they settled things, and I was able to leave.
I got up to go, and Lita called me in the kitchen again, asking for my opinion over something she was cooking, when I overheard something from Manuel and Abuelo.
Something they’d been hiding from me.
I'd shoved the pan of tres leches into Pedro, my cousin’s, arms then ran out the doors, with the growling voice of Abuelo commanding me to stop. I didn't obey and he didn't send his guards after me, but I knew that I would pay for my disobedience when I returned.
I'd thought their attention was because I was leaving soon, but now I knew the truth.
They were trying to keep me busy so I wouldn’t find out the truth about Tatiana.
Just like my own parents, I couldn't trust them.
And now, I was too late.
There was only one room lit up in her home, the one where I knew their small TV flickered. Her room was dark, but from here, I could see the flickering of a ribbon in the window. It swayed in the wind, each flutter like a sucker punch to the gut.
She'd asked for me, and I hadn't come.
My chest was so tight, I could barely breathe, but I forced my guilt and anger through my lungs, breathing it in and out like air. I'd allowed this to happen to her, and I would pay for that.
Forcing myself to wait, I smoked and smoked, until I was lightheaded.
If I went in there now and stopped them,herfamily would face serious repercussions.
I was allowed to do what I wanted, as long as it didn't go against a direct order from Abuelo. Even Lita couldn't tell me what to do.
But her parents weren't in the same position, thus extending the same to Tati.
Shewould be punished for my interruption.
So I paced the road, holding back my wrath, and waited for the man to leave. By the time the door opened, the middle aged man with the paunch waistline and balding head was tucking his shirt into his pants as he stared across the landscape, a satisfied smirk on his face.
Tatiana’s mother appeared by his side and spoke to him, too quietly for me to hear. They spoke briefly and, by the glow of the flickering TV, I saw the exchange of money.
They began to argue, the man’s voice growing louder. He raised a hand and her mother’s chest caved in, spine bowing, her head turning towards the ground submissively. Seething, I gripped the knife in my pocket, running my thumb over the edge of the blade as I watched. Tatiana’s father joined them on the front stoop. The argument grew louder, and no marijuana in my system could keep the rage at bay.
I dropped the joint, toeing it to put it out.
They seemed to come to an agreement. The man paid more, then he began to walk up the street, the loud sound of them slamming the door behind him echoing in my ears.